Tuesday, April 20

My worst
OK, I've been thinking about it all day (which tells you a little something about how much work I did today) and here, without further ado, is my "Top 10 Worst Songs of All-Time" list.

10. "Follow Me" by Uncle Kracker. This would have been higher up on the list, but Bad Lady hates this song and so that makes me kind of like it.
9. "Oops I Did It Again" by Britney Spears. No explanation necessary.
8. "The Super Bowl Shuffle" by the Chicago Bears. I was reminded of how bad this was on an episode of "I Love the 80's," which incidentially, is the greatest. show. evah.
7. "Escape (The Pina Colada Song)" by Rupert Holmes. I hear this song AT LEAST twice a day. As far as I can tell, the man is bored with his marriage, puts an ad in the newspaper trying to find someone else to hook up with, and his wife answers the ad. Tell me that marriage is still intact.
6. "Tubthumping" by Chumbawumba. You know how it goes. I get knocked down, but I get up again, you're never gonna bring me down... he takes a whiskey drink, he takes a vodka drink, he takes a lager drink, he takes a cider drink. Dooooooooooooon't cryyyyyyyyyyyyyy for meeeeeeeeeeeee, next door neighborrrrrrrr! You're loving me right now, aren't you! Think of me when you are hearing that song in your head for the rest of the day. And in your sleep.

And the top 5:
5. "Somebody's Watching Me" by Rockwell and featuring Michael Jackson. I just heard this song on an 80's compilation CD the other day and was again blown away by how bad the song is. First of all, Rockwell affects this accent throughout the song: "When I'm in tha showah, I'm afraid to wash mah haiyah." I can't believe Jacko signed on to do this project. It's bad even for him. And that was during his heyday! Thriller, man, Thriller!
4. "Mmm mmm mmm mmm" by Crash Test Dummies. If you've heard it, you know what I'm talking about.
3. "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine. Enough already. I wish this song had gone down with Leo and Kate on the Titanic.
2. "From a Distance" by Bette Midler. I don't like the idea that God is watching us. It's kind of creepy. Hey, maybe that's who was watching Rockwell in the shower!

And... the song I feel is most deserving of the title of WORST. SONG. EVAH! goes to:
1. "What's Up" by 4 Non Blondes. You know the song. It's the same four chords throughout, and the woman screams the chorus, "And I say Hey-yay-yay-yay, hey-yay-yay. I said hey! What's going on!" I want to stick a pen through my eyeball each time I hear this song.

This list is subject to change at any time. I'm sure there are a couple songs that are more deserving.

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