The List
After reading Tracie's entry on her daughter using the forbidden "F" word, I thought back to the first time I got in trouble for evoking the Queen Mother of All Swear Words.

It was in second grade. I had a friend over, Ann T*. We were in my room, playing with Barbies or Cabbage Patch Kids or something (oh no, that was third grade I think) when suddenly Ann announced to me, "I know all the swear words!"

So we got out a pad of paper and she wrote them down for me. I knew some of them, like, "damn" and "shit", but I had never seen or heard the F word before. "What does it mean?" I asked, but she didn't know.

Later, as my mom was in my room, she found The List. And understandably, was not happy. She demanded to know where I learned words like that. I got sassy and said, "What words? Words like shit and fuck and damn?"

I can still remember the look on her face. Pure evil. I knew I was skee-rewed. So since then, I have been mindful of not swearing around the parents. Except one time, in college, when I was in a friend's dorm room when their parents were visiting and in conversation I said something like, "I couldn't fucking believe it" and then clapped my hand over my mouth. Luckily my friend's mom just winked at me.

*also her real name. Amy, you will know who this is.