Tuesday, January 29

Office phenomenon #428
Employee #1 is standing over (copy machine/fax machine/printer), baffled look on his or her face. He/she opens the paper drawer, shuts it, stares. Looks around the side of the machine. Stares.

Employee #2 walks by and notices Employee #1. "Is it broken?" they ask. Employee #1 nods.

Employee #2 then opens the paper drawer, shuts it, stares. Maybe opens a side drawer. Peers inside.

Both continue to stare, baffled, at broken machine.

Employee #3 walks by, joins in the fray. "Does it need toner?" they ask.

"Tried that," says Employee #1.
"Hmm," says Employee #3, and opens the paper drawer, then shuts it. And stares.

Repeat until all orifices of said machine have been probed, and problem remains unsolved. Employee #1, 2 or 3 suggest they call someone for repair.

Monday, January 28

Feeling old, and then young again
Last weekend, I made a stop at Ye Olde Liquore Storee to pick up some libations. I don't often patronize liquor stores, becasue they sell my sissy drinks right at the grocery store. However, my supply of Tanqueray was dwindling, and it was time to make the trek.

Having just turned 32, I would have loved nothing more than to be carded at the liquor store. But I wasn't. The two twentysomething girls in line in front of me were carded. Next to them I guess I looked like an old bag.

I went home totally deflated that some scraggly liquor store worker deemed me older than 21.

This weekend, my husband and I went out to eat and apparently, in this restaurant, which we have been to a million times previously, you have to be 21 or older after 5. So the hostess carded us both. When she saw my age she said, "Oh, I would have never guessed!"

"Thank you," I said. I felt as happy as a little girl. Or at least, a 21-year-old girl.

Thursday, January 10

Triple double
Today I turn thirty-deuce. When I told Doodle this morning that it was my birthday, he of course replied, "it's my birthday too!"

Funny. You think I would have remembered that.

Wednesday, January 9

Because it looked fun, and because I have my iPod on shuffle already
Stolen from Green Tuna.

Here's how it works:
1. Put your iTunes on Shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write that song name down no matter what.

Q. What would best describe your personality?
A. Message in a Bottle - the Police
(sending out an SOS to the world?)

Q. If some one says it's okay you say...
A. "Grey Street" - Dave Matthews Band

Q. What do you like in a guy/girl?
A. I Did It -- Dave Matthews Band

Q.How do you feel today?
A. Belief - John Mayer

Q.What is your life's purpose?
A. Sweetest Goodbye - Maroon 5

Q. What is your motto?
A. Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk - Rufus Wainwright
I guess.

Q. What do your friends think of you?
A. Run Run Run - Phoenix

Q. What do you think of your friends?
A. It Looks like Love - Josh Rouse

Q. What do you think of your parents?
A. Through With You - Maroon 5

Q.What do your parents think of you?
A. First of the Gang to Die - Morrissey

Q. What do you think about very often?
A. Crush - Dave Matthews Band

Q. What do you think of your best friend?
A. Two - Ryan Adams

Q. What do you think of the person you love?
A. Easy Lover - Phil Collins/Philip Bailey

Q.What is your life story?
A. It's All Been Done - Barenaked Ladies
Fitting, strangely...

Q. What do you want to be when you grow up?
A. Halloweenhead - Ryan Adams

Q. What do you think when you see the person you love?
A. Must Get Out - Maroon 5

Q. What is your hobby/interest?
A. What a Fool Believes - Doobie Brothers

Q. What will they play at your funeral?

A. Loungin' - LL Cool J

Q. What is your biggest secret?
A. Holiday - Madonna

Tuesday, January 8

I have more in common with Jessica Simpson than I'm willing to admit
I recently realized that three of the men Jessica Simpson has dated, post Nick Lachey, have been on my top "wouldn't kick em out of bed for eating crackers" list:

1. Adam Levine
2. John Mayer
3. Tony Romo

This is horrifying to me. More because I can't believe I have the same taste in men as Jessica Simpson. If she dates Peter Krause next I will be suicidal.