Tuesday, November 29

Addition to weekend madness
I forgot to add the part on Sunday where I lost my mind, left the house and went to the grocery store down the street and purchased the following:

Chocolate chip cookie mix
Brownie mix
Chocolate chips
Chocolate ice cream
Golden Grahams

Guess what I do when I'm stressed out?

Monday, November 28

Glad it's Monday
How was your Thanksgiving weekend? Mine was shit-tastic. To recap:

Take the day off in order to get baby to his 4-month well visit. I end up getting a flu shot. Baby gets three shots in his thighs. Baby proceeds to wail for approximately 15 minutes, then passes out for remainder of afternoon. Baby wakes up with 102-degree fever. Fever lasts all of Wednesday and Thursday.

We take still-feverish baby to in-law's for Thanksgiving dinner. His activity level is slightly above zombified the entire day, disappointing grandparents and great-grandparents alike. Overate.

Trapped at home all day long with baby, whose fever finally breaks. Go back into doctor with baby to make sure there's nothing else wrong with him (at their suggestion after I called). Baby proceeds to make up for his lack of activity Thursday by being extra crabby. Highlight is taking baby to in-law's again and leaving him there while hubby and I get Chinese and rent "Batman Begins." Considered leaving baby at in-laws and leaving town with no forwarding address. Reconsidered and brought him home, only to find out that the baby has now associated his crib with a bed of spikes, and any attempt to lay him in said crib results in screaming that can be heard throughout the tri-county area. After several unsuccessful attempts to lay him down, my breaking point was reached (approximately 3:30 a.m.) and it culminated in my chucking a Boppy pillow at the living room window to release some of my pent-up RAGE!!!!!! and frightening Dom to the point where he avoided me all day Saturday.

More crabbiness. Took baby on errands to get out of the house. During this time he did not scream or cry once, but instead, saved up that entire hour and half's worth of screaming and then did it all as soon as we got home. Continued with the shunning of the crib. Husband slept on couch with baby for half the night, I took the other half of the night. Around 5:30 a.m. the baby finally realized the crib wasn't going to swallow him whole, and he allowed me to place him in it -- until he woke up screaming at 7 Sunday morning.

The clouds began to lift. After bringing both parents to the edge of insanity, the baby allowed us to get just enough energy to take us through the day, and then stole every little bit of life left in us. Fortunately, he slept in his crib without too much fuss, although he did wake up three times.

Gleefully dropped the devil's spawn at day care and whistled the entire way to work.

Tuesday, November 22

It's always very disturbing to hear the sounds of a cat yacking up a hairball somewhere just outside the bedroom in the middle of the night.

It's even more disturbing when you can't find any evidence of said hairball the next morning.

Thursday, November 17

Seeing red
Ah, 'tis the time of year when, although I really could care less about football of any kind, my genetics kick in and I cannot deny my roots.

So for all of you who have been coming to my site via a search for anti-Michigan jokes, I can only say this to you:

GO BLUE!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, November 16

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Thought it was time for another baby picture. This was taken last week sometime. He'll be four months on Friday!

Monday, November 14

It's also known as the "idiot button"
This morning, a CD got stuck in my CD drive. I kept pressing the button and nothing would happen. I went into Windows explorer, right clicked and hit "eject CD" -- nada. I restarted the computer to see if that would help, pressed the button again... bupkus.

So I shot an e-mail off to the I.T. help desk. Over scurries the techie known as "Sprocket" due to his similarity to the Mike Myers SNL character, Dieter, with what looks to be a paper clip that he's stretched out into some sort of jimmying device. He scowls at my CD drive and announces that he is going to have to take it apart.

"Are you sure it won't come out?" he asks.
"Yeah," I say.
He presses the button, and voila! Out pops the CD.
D'oh. I hate giving the techies a reason to feel superior.
Precious, precious sleep
My stinking child didn't take one nap this weekend. Not one! Well, there was one time yesterday when he stayed in his crib for 20 minutes without screaming, but I think his eyes were open. Does that count? Then, he wouldn't go to sleep until 11 last night, whereas I was ready to cash out around 8.

Where did he inherit this anti-sleep gene from? Because his father and I are both huge proponents of sleep. Especially on the weekend.

I asked the day care lady this morning whether he takes naps for them, and she informed me that he only fusses for 5 minutes and then falls right asleep. Bastard. I smell a conspiracy.

Friday, November 11

An "I'm alive but my life is uninteresting and nothing is going on" post
So yeah. Here I am. Work is... weird. I'm getting along strangely well with Bad Lady, which disturbs me greatly but for the moment I guess it's OK. I think it's because we are both united in our dislike for the Shady Backstabbing Wench who Wants My Job, whom I confronted about two weeks ago. It went semi-well, but she did not deny that she wants my job. Nor did she deny that while I was on maternity leave, she asked my co-workers exactly what made me qualified to hold the position that I hold. Which makes me a mad Kat. Do not challenge my skillz. I will burn your ass before you know it's Tuesday.

It basically boils down to her, at age 24, thinking she knows everything because she got some fancy schmancy design degree, which, OK, I don't have. Snaps to her for having a degree in design. I have an absolutely worthless Journalism degree. Whatever. But I don't feel like I need to prove myself to some fresh-out-of-Kent-Freaking-State chick, thank you very much.

Anyhoo, we'll continue to keep an eye on that situation.

The baby is still not sleeping through the night, which enables me to watch "Survivor" reruns that I've DVR'ed at 3 a.m. The episode where Neleh offers everyone the mint that has been in her mouth already was just on last week. Good times.

(Tangent: do you think "Tivo" is going to become one of those words like "Xerox" -- or has it already? I don't have Tivo so I say "DVR", but I'm still resisting the urge to say "tape")

There have been no further incidents of Dom peeing on the baby's belongings, which is good. Or at least, as far as we know.

The Day Care Queen still says "uh oh" every time she sees me.

IBL just jumped in the air and snapped his fingers. My day is complete.

Friday, November 4

Candy ass
Every October, my boss fills a plastic jack-o-lantern with various types of candy and it resides on top of the file cabinet in my department. He also provides the accounting department, which is also housed on this floor, with a jack-o-lantern of their own.

Throughout the month, Mr. Pumpkin, as he's affectionately called, gets several refills. My boss sends us out on candy runs and we take requests. (By far the most popular in our department: Heath bars.)

By the time Halloween rolls around, everyone is so sugared up it's ridiculous. I hopped on the scale last night and in the month of October alone I have gained 5 pounds. I attribute every last ounce to Mr. Pumpkin.

So now that it's November, Mr. Pumpkin will no longer be refilled by my boss. As soon as he is empty, he goes back up on the high shelf in our store room to wait another eleven months. The sooner, the better, in my opinion.

My twisted logic dictates that if I eat a whole bunch of candy every day, Mr. Pumpkin will be empty sooner. The candy binge that I'm on is truly disgusting. I am sweating Skittle juice. The inside of my mouth has a perpetual coating of high fructose corn syrup.

However, it did motivate me to get on my treadmill last night for the first time since I gave birth to the Bankster Doodle Doo.