Thursday, December 23

Let’s get re-acquainted, you and I.

It’s certainly been a while. Turns out this new job does not allow me to wile away the days on Facebook and write incredibly witty blog posts on the company dime. This is most unfortunate. I could be, like, level 90 in Farmville by now.

(This is some random FV character and DEFINITELY not my own screenshot.)

So many times I have wanted to visit. To come share some small observation with you, weave it into a short yarn, take that yarn and make a nice warm scarf that you could wrap around your brain. Or show you the latest pictures of my two boys, who are getting so big, so fast. Because god knows one day I am going to come to you and be like, what were those days like again? What did they look like? I remember that shirt Doodle has on!


(It was stripedy!)

It’s appropriate, then, that I meet up with you again around the holidays. It tends to be a reflective time of year anyway. Old friends get together, perhaps throw back a couple of adult-type beverages, and reminisce about co-workers long given the axe, or That One Time Back in College, and I think you know what time I mean.

So what are you drinking these days? Still gin and tonic? Oh, you’ve moved on to flavored vodka? Fine, then. Let’s get two of those on the rocks, and we’ll do a quick catch-up. I’ll even break it down month by month like one of those Year in Review things that pop up each December.

January 2010

  • I turned one year closer to forty, but still able to round down to thirty. This will be the last year I can do that.

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  • Scribble was seven months old; able to look cute while in his bouncer. His brother, Doodle, at 4 ½, entered the phase where he was incapable of smiling for a posed photograph.


February 2010

  • Otherwise known as “the dead of winter.” Not much evidence exists that February actually happened. I’m sure it snowed, Valentines were exchanged, and Doodle and Scribble grew another month older.

March 2010

  • The weather broke; allowing us to capture the CUTEST VIDEO EVER:

  • Speaking of cute, something possessed me to do my child’s hair in a Mohawk, although I systematically oppose this hairstyle on kids.

April 2010

  • My first work trip is to beautiful Orlando, Florida. The weather is non-cooperative, and I get about one hour of sunny pool time, not even enough to come home with a tan.

  • And it was Easter, a late one at that. Which meant ... EASTER EGG HUNT!!!!!!
  • And this thing appeared in a pan of scrambled eggs. But like a certain ROYGBIV miracle, aka the Double Rainbow, WHAT DOES IT MEAN?DSCF4894

May 2010

  • The sideways universe reveals itself to be a holding tank for dead people to pass on to heaven. Jack discovers this when he comes into a church and finds his long since dead father, Christian, inside. Christian is finally able to bring Jack to terms with the fact that he is dead. In some other universe, on an island, Jack lays, bloodied and beaten, looking skyward at a plane that carries his friends Kate, Sawyer and Miles (although were they friends? I don’t know. Anyway.) Vincent the dog is by his side in his final moments. We zoom in closely on Jack’s eye as it closes, bringing six WTF seasons to a fade to black.

  • jacks eye

  • My work travels take me to the city of brotherly love. It looks nice from my hotel room window, but I don’t venture out.

June 2010

  • Scribble turns 1!
  • ... and becomes mobile.
  • Doodle graduates from Pre-K, which is commemorated with a graduation ceremony. I do the requisite amount of crying about the passage of time, directed at my firstborn, but also a reflection that I am getting old.
  • I vow to never fly into or out of the Atlanta Hartsfield airport ever again after nearly having to spend the night there. I had a nice little phone booth picked out and everything for the long haul. Why, Georgia, why????

July 2010

  • Doodle turns 5

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  • Scribble attends his first Akron Aeros baseball game and meets Orbit, the team mascot. The game eventually gets rained out after four innings. Does that mean that it technically was NOT his first baseball game? Someone please consult the rule book and let me know.
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  • The county fair was in town. This meant corn dogs, guys with mullets, lots of tramp stamps, and of course, livestock:

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August 2010

  • R.I.P. Peepers.

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  • Doodle starts kindergarten. On the first day, when I ask him how it was, he responds, “I forgot.” When I asked him if he met any new friends, he replied, “I forgot.” This was followed by a heavy sigh. We will repeat this conversation, ad nauseum, until he is at least eighteen.

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  • We take Doodle to his first Indians game, which he loves, except for the fireworks. We meet such dignitaries as the Mustard hot dog, as well as the Indians manager Manny Acta, and after the game, Doodle gets to go on the field (as do we) to run the bases (as we are ushered to a designated spot to pick up our kids and get the hell off the field).


September 2010

  • Speaking of baseball, Doodle's little league Coach Pitch team, the Pirates, is halfway decent.
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  • My work travels take me to Myrtle Beach. I look forward to spending some time in the sand, but tropical storm Nicole has other plans for me. I spend one frightening night on the fifteenth floor of my hotel room, facing the ocean, feeling every gust of wind shake the building.
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  • I finish “Infinite Jest,” a book I began reading in January of 2009, and subsequently, ritualistically burn some of its pages in our Webber grill.

October 2010

  • My work travels bring me to a charming, or depressing, depending on how you look at it, little town called Frankenmuth. The only picture I take on this trip ends up being with my sepia tone filter on it, which actually is quite fitting. The shopping is killer there, though, and I see a movie for grown-ups in a movie theater for the first time since, I don't know, I think George W. was still in office.

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  • The weather in October was gorgeous, was it not? This allowed for one last trip to the zoo. In short sleeves, no less! Bare arms in October is always a good thing.

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  • Then, of course, Halloween. Doodle went all ninja on our asses, and Scribble was Yoda. Although some people seemed to think he was Shrek.
    Shown here with Mary, who had a (real) little lamb.

November 2010

  • Doodle loses his first tooth.
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  • We took a trip to an indoor water park and Doodle stayed in a hotel for the first time. Also, this elephant got fresh with me.
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December 2010

  • My final work trip of the year is to Las Vegas. My hubby comes with me and it is our first vacation alone since I was six months pregnant with Doodle. Good times are had, but we lose all the money we came to gamble with. What happened in Vegas, stayed there.

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  • Oh, and I took some pictures of dolphins!

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  • Jud Birza won Survivor. You remember Jud, right? You may remember him by his nickname on the show, which was Naonka.
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See any good movies this year? I didn’t. But I did read some good books. Here’s what I would recommend:

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. It lives up to the hype. Believe that.

The Help. A very moving, well-written story about southern women in the 1960s when segregation was still the norm. Hard to believe that wasn’t that long ago!

As you know, I love my TV. On my DVR this year were shows such as:

Mad Men. Best show on television right now. And I think as a woman, it's my duty to mention that if you don't have a late night fantasy involving Don Draper, you'd better check to make sure you have a pulse.


Lost. See you in another life, brother.

Parenthood. I’d follow Peter Krause to the ends of this earth after his performance as Nate Fisher in Six Feet Under, and this show is really well done.

Survivor. Jeff Probst gets sassier and sassier as the seasons wear on, and I say, bring it.

I Love Money. OK, how’d that one get on there?

And with that, I depart once again, for God only knows how long. Until next time, happy holidays to you and yours, and may your days be merry and bright.