Year of the Fox?
I am enjoying the day off today. Although, the day off came complete with a Doodle, so it's not quite the leisurely off day I may have liked it to be. Doodle and I went to my office and saw my co-workers. He was incredibly shy at first, and then was running rampant in the executive offices (which were shockingly empty) by the time we left.

As I got off my exit on the turnpike, a reddish blur on the side of the road caught my eye. There, chillin' out among some tall grass, was a fox. And not of the Michael J. variety either.

I don't know about your parts, but in these parts, I have never, EVER, in my entire life, seen a fox. Maybe they're around here and I never knew.

On New Years Eve, I take every little out-of-the-ordinary happening as an omen of things to come, so I am trying to come up with some sort of reason why the fox revealed itself to me. No, I haven't been drinking yet.

Here is an interesting bit I found online: (from houseofnames.com)
This fox is a symbol of the devil tempting man; therefore, it may be a reminder to the bearer to stay alert and resist temptation.

Hmm. I'll keep that in mind as I enter 2008.

Happy New Year everybody!

Sing it
I have to say ... I have been pleasantly surprised by NBC's "Clash of the Choirs" that I put on my DVR as a whim. A lot of the forum criticism I've been reading is that these are not real choirs. However, to the average viewer like myself, these are great sets of voices that have come together over a short period of time and have sounded great.

I hate to say this but I found myself rooting for Team Bolton. As in Michael. My life has hit a new low point. The guy who sang lead on both of their songs was great! Now that they are eliminated I think I have to throw my loyalties in with Cincinnati boy Nick Lachey representin' for Ohio.

Two things I dont care for about the show:
1) Host Maria Menunos. She's right up there with the Chenbot on the emotionless responses. Seacrest, she ain't.
2) Patti LaBelle. Her choir is the shiz, but her diva antics turn me off.

The finale is tonight. It's worth tuning in to see some amazing singing groups doing their thang.

Happy Holidays


Wishing you all the best this holiday season.

Why Survivor: China was one of the worst seasons ever
There are so many reasons, but here are just a few of mine.

1. The finale featured no Jeff Probst helicopter sequence
2. The three most popular Survivors, as voted by the fans, were James, Mullet Lady and ... Peih-Gee?!?
3. Amanda's blurred ass cheeks
4. The final three = how do you pick the best of that bunch?

Ugh. And the all-star season next season, if you even want to call it that. Some of the so-called all-stars, I can't even remember. And I've been a loyal follower of the show from the beginning!

I hate to say it, but I think it's time to pull the plug. Let's just find Probst another TV job. Mkay?

It is finished
... and a day early, no less. I hate procrastination.
Final word count: 50,010.

Somebody dim the lights
File this under "Kids say the darnedest things:"

Dessert is a rarity in our house. In fact, I'd say it's a once-in-a-blue-moon occasion. We just don't buy dessert, we don't need it. Doodle doesn't know any better, and my hubby isn't into sweets. I, on the other hand, furtively throw handfuls of Nerds down my throat during the day at work to make up for the lack of sugar at the dinner table. ;)

Even at our weekly Sunday dinner, when we go to my in-laws house, dessert is reserved for special occasions. Birthdays, usually.

So at Thanksgiving, we finish our gorging on the turkey and all the other carb-heavy fare, and then it's time for pie. Glorious pumpkin pie. We each are served our plates, including Doodle, and we wait patiently for everyone to be seated so we can mow down on the scrumptious treat.

Doodle has a look of utter confusion on his face when we commence the eating of the pie. Confusion turns to anger. "Lights off!" he yells.
I give him a look. "Lights off? Why do you want the lights off?"
"Hapbirday," he says. In English, "happy birthday."
"Ohhhhhh," I say, and explain to the rest of the family that Doodle thinks it's time to sing happy birthday, since we're having dessert.

So not only did we dim the lights, but we sang "Happy Birthday" to the turkey, because it was the first thing that came to mind. Too bad it wasn't alive to enjoy the song sung in its honor.

Then, and only then, was it acceptable to eat our pie.

Curious
A miraculous thing has occurred in the KJ household. The Wiggles have fallen out of favor. Greg, Murray, Jeff and Anthony have been replaced in Doodle's heart by a monkey who goes by the name of George.

Curious George is way easier to tolerate. There are no hokey songs or dances, no annoying pirates or dinosaurs. The episodes are cute, and most importantly, easy for an adult to tune out.

Plus I've come to have an appreciation for the Man in the Yellow Hat. The man has the patience of Job. How he's not taken is beyond me. Sure, he's a little eccentric, what with that whole yellow outfit thing. But he's obviously financially well off. He has a nice apartment in the city, with a doorman and a snooty Dachsund in the lobby, as well as a quaint country home near Lake Wannasink Lake. I haven't been able to glean what he does for a living, but in his spare time, he takes on projects such as taking a moth census, studying the nocturnal feeding habits of raccoons, etc. So I'm thinking he's some kind of Ph.D. in what, zoology?

Plus, the man has a monkey for a pet. Haven't you always wanted a monkey? He'd be a great dad. When George absolutely trashes his house, or worse -- someone else's, he just shrugs his shoulders in an "aw shucks" sort of way and either just cleans it up himself or offers to pay for whatever damage his monkey has caused.

I know in one episode he tried to work it with Professor Wiseman, but I don't know if she's into him or whether they're just friends. Me, I think he's a total catch.

Staring down 40k
Yes, it's true, I'm still on pace to finish National Novel Writing Month. Tomorrow I should reach 40,000 words. That's only 10,000 more to go. My novel is pretty much about to wind down anyway, so I just have to embellish some parts and tie up some loose ends, and my characters should have long, semi-happy lives.

I haven't really been up for sharing, but when it's over I might post excerpts just so everyone can see what a mess it's been all month. Or make suggestions as to how to fix it, should I ever be so inclined.

As I mentioned before, being forced to write a certain amount of words every day has made me pretty regimented. If I have certain things that need to be accomplished each day, I know I can't lollygag because I still have the daunting task ahead of me of pegging out 1,667 words before my head can hit the pillow. It really does amaze me how much extra time I have had during the evenings if I just cut out some of the time-wasting activities (hello, myspace! how are ya!) that I engage in.

And I've even squeezed in some serious treadmill time. Probably the most walking I've done since I was pregnant and under doctor's orders to do so. I hope that the results are showing in my waistline. Next month when there is less writing to do I am going to step it up (har) even more. Or so I say now.

Maybe I can declare December to be National Treadmill Walking Month (NaTreWaMo) and come up with some kind of crazy mileage number to hit every day.

That's not such a bad idea, actually ... ;)

Young talent
Congrats to Cleveland Indians pitcher C.C. Sabathia on winning the Cy Young. He may not have had as many wins as Josh Beckett but he had a damn good year. Too bad we don't have a ring to back that up.

TwentyK
I just had to kill off one of my characters' high school girlfriends, and it was kind of painful. I hated to do it, because it makes my character a total train wreck for years. I do plan on giving him a happy ending, though.

Tomorrow, if all goes well, I will be hitting the 20,000 word mark. That's a lot of words. And it's not even halfway to the end of this crapfest I'm calling my NaNo novel. The last chapter, though, was not too bad. Might be its own story someday after this is all over.

So long, and thanks for all the fish
What did YOU get in the mail today?

I got a fish.



Look! You can squeeeeeeeeeze it!

It's a "pay it forward" kind of thing, as you may be able to see from the note. It is signed by the person who sent it to me (at first, I thought it was autographed by the Browns or something... dammit!) as well as, I'm assuming, the people who had it before her.

So now I am charged with this fish, and finding the next sucker recipient. Everyone in my office told me that they will be mean to me until I find someone to pass it to.

It also came to me with postage due. So thanks for that.

Mujica
Are there just some songs that you hear and have to restrain yourself from belting it out along with the radio, cd, 8-track, or what have you? I have several. I am a self-admitted car singer alonger, so adding my semi-decent voice on top of an already good song is almost second nature to me. I tend to be drawn to songs which are within my singing range. And usually by male artists, with few exceptions (Shawn Colvin and Sheryl Crow come to mind). When I make mix cd's for my car, the same songs wind up on them, over and over again, with a few new arrivals to spice things up.

This morning as I was doing my commute across the turnpike, I popped in a scratched up mix CD that I picked up off the floor of the back seat, labeled "12/04 Mix". Surprise, surprise, it has 5 or 6 songs that are on the most recent mix cd I put together. But then, it took a pleasant turn.

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING ADMISSION IS SEVERELY EMBARRASSING AND PROBABLY SHOULDN'T EVEN BE MADE PUBLIC BY ME, BECAUSE IT MAKES ME SERIOUSLY UNCOOL...

The Doobie Brothers "What a Fool Believes." Oh my God, I love that song. Something about Michael McDonald's smooth barking voice (do those two terms contradict?) ... I just can't help but get a big old smile on my face. Of course I had to add my slightly stuffed up voice to do backing vocals.

Then I remembered that I have a live version performed with Kenny Loggins, and I love that version too, because it has a surprise Michael McDonald appearance, and so right now at work I have that song cranked in my headphones. And it is really, really hard not to bust into harmony for the chorus. An exercise in extreme restraint.

But I can see Bad Lady out of the corner of my eye, keeping me in check. I am having to settle for some furious foot tapping under the desk.

Continuation of previous post

... she says just before she comes down with some crazy stomach illness that keeps her on the couch, under a blanket, and in bed by 9:30 last night.

Deadline
A deadline is a hell of a motivator. And having a daily deadline has had a positive effect on my life in general. For instance, yesterday, I worked a full day (at least, I was present at my desk for the required amount of hours. What I did at said desk, however, was another story), came home, entertained Doodle (yes, this involved the Wiggles), ate dinner, cleaned up after dinner, entertained Doodle some more, got Doodle in his PJ's, watched half a tivo'ed episode of Grey's Anatomy, put Doodle to bed, walked on my treadmill shorter than I should have but did it nonetheless, showered, and then finally banged out the remaining 1500 or so words to make the 10,000 word mark last night. And I went to bed before 11.

It's funny how when I'm so busy I can suddenly cram in twice as many things as I would ordinarily do in a day. I should be this productive all the time. I don't know why I'm not. Actually I do ... it's so much easier, immediately upon depositing Doodle in his crib, to plank my butt down on the couch and do nothing but watch the tivo. Or fuddle around on the interwebs for hours. Especially when the weather becomes cold, it's hard to want to do anything that doesn't involve sweats and a blanket.

I should do NaNo every month.

A welcome break from the monotony
Here! Having for you to enjoy, this moving picture document of toddler. Much happiness! He sing for you song of "Row Row Row Your Boat."

Behind the 8-ball
My NaNo word count is somewhere in the range of 7,300 and today I am supposed to crack the 10k word mark. Either I have to crank out some serious wordage today during work (oops) or I am going to start lagging behind. This is the precipice of disaster ...

Update
As the first snow flakes of the season hit the ground, I buckled down and cranked my word count up to just over 8,000. That's just 2k shy of where I need to be today. And so far I've done nothing but tweak what I already have.

Who doesn't love a cupcake?
I have these bouts of domesticity where I do stuff like bake. And clean. It doesn't happen too often, so it's always a special occasion when either of the two events happen.

Cake mix just happened to be on sale at the grocery store so I picked up some and made cupcakes yesterday. With butter cream frosting and non-pareil sprinkles. Doodle ate the frosting off of two of them but left the cake.

This morning, we were leaving to go to work/day care, and Doodle turned around and went back into the house for something. I was assuming it would be his blanket or something of that ilk. But no, he returned with the Tupperware of cupcakes like it was going to come to school with him.

It's nice of him to think of sharing those with his friends, but those are OUR cupcakes. Ya hear?

It was good in the beginning
Word count: 5891

The novel is progressing. I have found redemption in at least one of my characters and they are starting to behave themselves, although they are having a lot of one-night stands, which I guess is not so good.

But the other great news is of the non-fictional type. The Great Roofing Project of '07 is finished! This has been a four weekend long escapade in which my husband and his buddies tore off our old, rotting garage roof, replaced the wood, and reshingled the bitch. In the process my house has turned into the ultimate disaster area. Oh, and I should mention that I used to have side steps, and now I have side rubble. They have met the fate of Ye Olde Sledgehammere. The steps were not innocent victims, however. They had begun to crumble of their own accord. They were merely put out of their misery. Except now, we have to go through the front door, which, to a two year old who is, as my husband put it, a "rigid control freak," is contrary to the great master plan of the universe. Now we have to figure out how to replace the steps, and with what money. I'm thinking the rubble may be a permanent fixture. Or at least until spring.

Doodle is recovering from his cold, but I'm still bracing for the inevitable ear infection that always seems to follow. Oh, and the Wiggles are in town tomorrow. Please don't tell him.

P.S.
My characters are shallow assholes.

Ideas, please!
Word count: 1636

I have had a Word document open at work all day, and I have been occasionally rattling off a few words here and there. I'm already behind, but I'm hoping to make it up and maybe pull ahead a little this weekend.

Because I'm too frazzled to think, I am asking the internets for assistance.

1. What are some food items that would be served at a small dinner party?
2. Name some interesting jobs that it is conceivable that someone in their 30's living in the midwest would have.

I'm trying to figure out how I want to post my story as I'm going along. I don't want it out for the whole world to see, and/or steal, not that anyone would want to ;) But I want to have it available for friends/blog readers if anyone is interested. Suggestions on that as well?

Halloweenie
Below is a picture of Doodle in his Halloween costume last night as he went Trick or Treating:

Oh, oops. There IS no photo, because Doodle refused to get into his doggy costume, and secondly refused to go outside even just to walk in the stroller and see the other kids. We ended up doing what we do every night: watch the Wiggles until mom and/or dad can't take it anymore.

There's always next year.

Every Day I Write the Book
Today kicks off National Novel Writing Month, an although I haven't typed one single word, I've got some good thoughts brewing. Wish me luck. And send snacks.

Two days
... til the start of NaNoWriMo. Right now I am all about it ... but ask me in about a week and a half how I'm doing. I was going to try and do NaBloPoMo or whatever the hell it is, too, but that might just be too much. I do actually have to have some semblance of working.

I will, however, periodically post links to my novel in progress, along with my usual non-sequiter posts.

An evening with RA
On Saturday night, I was at the Ryan Adams concert in Lakewood, Ohio, for what seemed like a small eternity. Not that it was a bad thing. It's just that he played for a reallllllllly long time. Two full sets. No opening act. It was a whole lotta Ryan. And I had to pee and wanted to wait til the end.

Admittedly I'm not as huge of a fan of his newer stuff. I liked his first few solo albums, and then the later stuff is kind of hit or miss with me. When he veers country I'm not so much enthralled.

That being said, I still really enjoyed his show. He and his band the Cardinals play well together and sound great. I especially enjoyed the harmonizing the guys did.

For maybe the first 45 minutes, Ryan did not speak between songs. There was a kind of uncomfortable silence when each song was finished and they re-tuned their guitars for the next one. Then every once in a while he'd say something under his breath that would be audible for the crowd and he'd get a laugh. Finally, he broke the silence in a big way and told the crowd how happy he and the band were to be there. Suddenly he launched into a diatribe about Twinkies and asked the crowd if they had ever microwaved a Twinkie. He said it's only something you do "at 3 a.m. ... between 3 a.m. and 3:30 a.m." He also cautioned not to use a plastic bowl to microwave the Twinkie because the Twinkie itself is made mostly of plastic.

The first set focused mostly on newer material, mostly from Easy Tiger, and featured a lot of deviation from the original arrangements and into more trippy, Grateful Dead-esque jam sessions. The second set was more mellow -- as Ryan called it, the "Wanted Dead or Alive" part of the show. There was some Jon Bon Jovi reference that I kind of missed, but I think it was because he and his guitarist were set up next to each other on stools and recalled back to Jon Bon and Richie Sambora. I think. Who knows.

He cranked out a bunch of crowd favorites during the second set, including "Two" off Easy Tiger, Rescue Blues, Let It Ride, Please Do Not Let Me Go, and my favorite, La Cienega Just Smiled. He also went off on "Friends" -- the wedding episode where Ross says the wrong name at the altar. He wanted to know the untold story about Emily, Ross' almost-wife. He surmised that she went back to England and "wrote some unreadable novel" or something like that. Funnier when he said it.

He also left the stage briefly -- or not so briefly -- to allow for his keyboard player to tell the joke of the evening. The joke took maybe 15 seconds, and then ... no Ryan. Awkward silence on stage. Dum de dum ... still no Ryan. So the band members all kind of looked at each other like, "ok ... now what ..." and it was long enough that I was beginning to think that he had just decided he was done and not coming back. Finally, after maybe another minute, he came running back on stage to roaring applause from the crowd.

"Sorry guys, I had some Red Bull before the show and I just had to pee. I'm a human being..."

Yep. Awesome. Guess I should have gone, too. But I didn't want to get up and miss anything.

Thanks, Ryan, for an eccentric and cool show. I wouldn't have expected anything less.

Memeage

Ever kissed anyone with the name starting with a B?
yes

Are you watching TV?
no I'm at work

Say you were given a drug test right now. Would you pass?
yup

Do you know anyone in jail/prison?
no

Do you like the color green?
you obviously have no idea where I work

Who was the last person to send you a text message?
Ali

Ever drove into the ghetto to buy drugs?
*cough*

Last restaurant you went to?
Rocknes

Last voicemail you received?
my boss saying he was sick and wouldn't be in

What did you do yesterday?
went to work, came home, watched some tv, hit the sack

What's the first thing you would do with 5 million dollars?
pay off debts

Have you ever been on your school's track team?
I smoked in high school, nuff said

Do you have any piercings?
just ears, plus the eyebrow scar

If all of your friends were going on a road trip, would you?
if it were ok with my hubby

Do you swear at your parents?
Only mildly

Is your phone right beside you?
my work phone is; my cell is in my purse

Have you cried today?
no

Do you think that someone is thinking about you right now?
yes

What kind of bedsheets do you have?
light blue

Have you ever crawled through a window?
yes

Are you photogenic?
no

What do you spend most of your money on?
bills

Is there a secret you've never told any of your friends?
yes

Have you ever told someone you loved them but didn't mean it at all?
no

Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
yes

Have you ever kissed two people in the same day?
no

Are your parents married/divorced/separated?
divorced

What objects are around you right now?
my desk crap, bag of pretzels, bottle of water

Are you genuinely happy?
no

Do you have trust issues?
yes

Are you looking forward to tomorrow?
no more than any other Thursday

Where's the last place you went?
the Hallmark store to buy a card for my aunt's b-day

Do you miss someone right now?
no

What are you doing this weekend?
Going to see Ryan Adams in concert on Saturday night!

O-bla-di, O-bla-da
... and then I woke up this morning and realized that I live in Cleveland, and this is what happens when you live in Cleveland. There's always next year.

Go Cavs.

Top 10 Things I'd Rather Be Doing Than Watching ALCS Game 7 Right Now

10. I'm sure I have socks that need sorting.
9. Paint. Drying.
8. Major oral surgery.
7. Two words: War and Peace.
6. Grandma could use a pedicure.
5. Is it tax time yet?
4. Finding and eradicating dust bunnies.
3. All Wiggles, all the time.
2. I didn't realize that Phil Collins HAD these many greatest hits!

and the number one thing I'd rather be doing than watching ALCS game 7 right now:

1. Sleeping -- knowing that the Indians won it in 6.

Alas ... this is the life of a Cleveland sports fan. I'm keeping my fingers crossed, but knowing how these things usually go, I can't help but feel that it's over already.

Zoo-dle
Last weekend my mom and I took Doodle to the local zoo. I had never been to this particular zoo, but I was quite pleased to find out how kid-friendly it was. My larger metropolitan zoo has large exhibits that are quite stunning if you know where to look, but for a 2-year-old who only sees what is right in front of his face, it's kind of boring.

Not here. Look at how close we were to this lion:



It actually took my breath away. I just thought to myself, this glass better be thick. The lioness, however, could have cared less about Doodle or me or my mom ... the zookeepers were standing behind us and I'm betting she was waiting for her mid-morning snack. Which thankfully, wasn't my 2-year-old.

I'm making a pledge ...
To do NaNoWriMo this year. I just jotted down some ideas for my novel. Hopefully I will follow through this year, or least go halfway. Come November I will post my progress on another blog, and occasionally link back here in case anyone is interested in reading. Plus I will need some encouragement, I'm sure.

Scenes from the Jake


I was fortunate enough to be able to be at the American League Championship Series game 4 on Tuesday at Jacobs Field.



The Indians beat the Red Sox, 7-4, and are within one game of being in the World Series. Trying to describe the experience of being at a playoff game at the Jake to someone who hasn't ever had a chance, is impossible.



The air was alive with the whoosh of towels, each out, from the first to last, received a standing ovation, and the roar of the crowd made you yell louder just to try and hear yourself. Is it possible that our time has come once again?



They're playing right now, and losing, but they have two more chances after tonight. Let's hope we don't need them.

GO TRIBE!!!!!

The Mayor of Memeville
1. What's the last big mistake you made?
trusting someone I shouldn't have

2. Is the sun shining?
not at the moment, it's supposed to rain all day, and I've got baseball tickets tonight

3. Can you successfully blow up and tie a balloon?
I hate balloons so no

4. Do you like text messaging?
I've slowly caught on to the texting phenomenon

5. Got any lately?
Are we still talking about texts? Doesn't matter, the answer is still yes ;)

6. Boyfriend/Girlfriend?
husband

7. Are you wearing any make-up right now?
Yes

8. What are your plans for later?
ALCS game 4, GO TRIBE!!!!!

9. What is your favorite MCR song?
You know, the one that goes "duh duh duh duh da na na na na na duh duh duh" .... uh, who is MCR?

10. Is there any drama within your life?
Quite a bit. See question 1

11. What is a song they need to stop playing on the radio?
Anything by Nickelback and that new piece of Fergie crap

12. Are you happy with life right now?
I should be, but I am never quite satisfied, I always want more.

13. Does anyone like you?
I should hope so

14. What is your current obsession?
Pete Yorn music

15. Do you have a dog?
no

16. Ever been kissed under mistletoe?
yes

17. Would you ever smile at a stranger?
Yes

18.Ever pulled your pants down in the street?
Yes, and then I asked for TP for my bunghole ... uh, no.

19. Do your toenails have nail polish on them?
A fresh coat from 2 days ago

20. Last curse word you said was?
Hard to remember because I do it so frequently but I'll guess f-bomb

21. Are your lips chapped?
Always

22. Are you currently jealous?
in a roundabout way

23. Did you have a dream last night?
I always dream but I don't remember anything from last night

24. Are you mad at anyone?
just disappointed

25. Who is the loudest person you know?
co-worker

26. What's going on this weekend?
More of the roofing project at home, I'll have Doodle all weekend trying to keep him out of trouble. And hopefully more October baseball :)

27. Done any spring cleaning lately?
I think I did some last spring.

28. Anything bothering you?
yup

29. Do you do cheerleading?
In 8th grade I did. And I have the pics to prove it ;)

30. Did you wish for anything last night on 11:11?
World peace, as always ;)

31. Do you drink coffee on a regular basis?
I drink tea

32. Do you wish you were someone else?
I'm pretty content with who I am

33. What jewelry are you wearing?
wedding ring, watch, silver earrings, my heart necklace

34. Funniest thing that happened today?
See my previous blog about IBL

35. Kiss anyone lately?
hubby and son

36. Are you easily amused?
very

37. Can you lick your elbow?
that sounds complicated.

38. Do you know this song, "we stay fly no lie you know this"?
sounds familiar ... is it Diddy?

39. How many piercings do you have?
3 in one ear, 1 in other ear, and scar from eyebrow piercing gone bad

40. What are/were your plans over the summer?
Get some sun on my ghostly skin ... didn't work out so well

41. How's life going for you?
just dandy

42. What is on your mind just this second?
when are we going to lunch???

43. Favorite vacation spot?
Vegas, baby, Vegas!

44. Do you have on chap stick?
no but I need some

45. What hurts right now?
toe -- from bad shoes and lots of walking at convention

46. Do you like school?
I didn't mind it, I've been considering going back for a masters, someday

47. Is this survey good?
not particularly

48. Sneak out lately?
snuck away from some sketchballs at convention hotel bar

49. Last thing you drank?
tea

50. Do you want a tattoo?
no

51. Want any more piercings?
no

Boss' Day
Today is Boss' Day, so my department brought in cupcakes, cookies, balloons, and we all signed a card for my boss. Everyone put stuff like "you're the greatest boss in the whole wide world" and stuff like that.

IBL, however, penned this gem:
"Remember, a wet bird never flies at night."

Yeah. We're all a bit scared.

Today
It's a great day today.
No matter what happens at work, at home, on the road.
Today, I feel good.

Sorry, wrong number
Over the past couple days I have had several calls on my cell phone from a strange area code and unrecognizable number. So of course, I haven't answered. It's unusual enough for me to be getting calls. I don't typically talk on the phone other than to my husband, or the occasional friend or co-worker, but we're talking few and far between.

Finally, the caller left a message, and something in his tone made me feel a sudden surge of empathy... it was just a few words. "Marsha, give me a call, ok?"

The next time the guy tried calling, I answered, only to tell him that he had the wrong number. "That's what I was afraid of," he said. "I apologize."

There's a story in there, I'm sure. Either Marsha gave him the wrong number, or he wrote it down wrong, and now he doesn't know how to contact her.

I am thinking of doing NaNoWriMo this year; this is a possibility...

Don't worry, GT, I look like Beyonce too
I have never heard of some of these folks, but here are some of my celebrity lookalikes. I did another photo and got the more realistic Michelle Branch, who someone told me I look like just the other day.

http://www.myheritage.com/collage

Don't Mess with the Chee
I just wanted to mention that over the past two weeks, I have gotten THREE hits on this blog from people searching for either Lance Nip Chee or Toast Chee. Bless you all. Those crackers, they are teh good.

Maybe we should call it "Six Feet Under" and get it over with
Tonight is the premiere of Dirty Sexy Money on ABC, starring my future ex-husband, Peter Krause.

It worries me a bit that I have had to go digging to find info on this show. My Entertainment Weekly that came last week had a spread several pages long on "Heroes" but the only mention of DSM was in the "What to Watch" section, and even then, it was only the name of the show listed for Wednesday. At least EW wants us to watch it.

I just have a bad feeling that this show is going to be like the other shows I started watching last fall, like "The Nine" and "Studio 60." It may be good, but probably won't get the viewership. It may be dead on arrival, in other words.

It's meme time!
(stolen from a myspace friend)
29 Unusual Lasts

1. To whom did you last give the finger?
Yesterday I gave the finger to my co-worker whom I hate, while she passed me in her car on the way home.

2. If you had 1,000 dollars what would you buy?:
$1000 less credit card debt

3. What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?:
Water, in the dark, two nights ago while fumbling in the kitchen

4. Are you different now than you were 6 months ago?
A few pounds here or there, yes

5. Have you kissed a boy/girl in the last three days?:
yes

6. What was the last photograph you took?:
Either my kid or my cats

7. Where were you last night around 9:30?:
upstairs watching the BB8 finale *yawn*

8. What do you think of guys that wear eyeliner?:
not my type

9. How many hours did you last sleep?:
I didn't really sleep all that well last night... psuedophedrine is not my friend

10. Who was the last person to whom you spoke on the phone for over an
hour?
some crazy ass client who was bitching up a storm

11. 50 Cent shows up at your door, what do you do?:
how is this the "last" time I did anything? If Fiddy shows up at my door, there better be a damn good reason.

12. How was the last egg you ate prepared?
scrambled on a Sunday morning

13. Where did you last wear sunglasses?:
today? yesterday? i don't know.

14. Ever worn your underwear backwards?:
Ouch, and no.

15. What's your favorite scent?
laundry in the dryer

16. Does it bother you when people put && before every sentence and ;; after?
I have honestly never seen that before.

17. What animal did you last pet or hold?:
Uncle Dom aka "Unks"

18. What was the last law you broke?
speeding, jaywalking?

19. What are you wearing?:
black short skirt, black and blue lace top, black suit jacket, black sandals

20. What did you think of your last kiss?
it was from my son so it was sweet

21. What was the last newspaper you read or skimmed?:
the Plain Dealer but only the sports and arts and life section

22. What was the last thing you wrote on your hand?
it's been a long time since i've done that so I have no idea

23. What was the last hair product you used?:
hair spray this morning

24. What was the last text message you received?
"20 14 2" from my boss which referenced the Browns score against the Bengals on Sunday after 2 quarters

25. What was the last medication (Rx or OTC) you took?:
Mucinex about 10 minutes ago

26. Who was the last person to make you really laugh?:
my boss

27. To what song did you last sing along?
Little Brown Ant by the Wiggles

28. What was the last musical instrument played in your presence?:
I played the guitar yesterday to figure out the chords to "Little Brown Ant" by the Wiggles

29. What was the last superstitious thing you did?:
knocked on wood probably.

A matter of timing
Good thing I watched that final "24" episode... my DVR gave up the ghost tonight. Also a good thing that I discovered this prior to 9 p.m. so I didn't miss a certain season finale. That, to borrow a phrase, would have suuuuuuuucked.

Sick
Thursday night, it finally hit.

The Back To School cold that I knew would get me, eventually.

It could have come from multiple sources:
1) Doodle brought something home from daycare
2) M.I.L. and other family members have been sick
3) Spent the previous weekend at a large children's gym-type place that I'm sure was teeming with germs

Anyway, the weekend was miserable. I still managed to go to the Indians game on Saturday night, which I'm sure didn't help. Sunday, I got out my leftover cough syrup with codeine from the last time I had bronchitis and I took a tablespoon.

OOPS.

Had I read the label, I would have realized that the correct dosage was TEAspoon. This resulted in me falling dead asleep, on the couch, during the Browns game, with my husband and Doodle in the room. Doodle kept pounding on me, saying "Wake up, Mommy!" I would, but then I would immediately drift back into my comatose state.

Several hours later I woke up, sniffled and coughed for a few more hours, and then took ANOTHER tablespoon of the codeine stuff before bed. THEN I read the label. Night, night!

Yesterday I took the day off work and instead of dropping 25 bucks at my quack doctor, I went to the drugstore and bought the hard stuff. You know, the stuff you have to ask for and sign an affadavit and swear not to give it to a meth head. For one lousy box of nasal decongestant and expectorant. Heh. I was expectorating yesterday.

One nice thing about being sick yesterday was that I caught up on all my TV that had backlogged on the DVR. The only show I'm behind in now is Top Chef. I even watched the "24" finale -- I'm not kidding -- from November! That's how bad it was. Just in time for all the new shows I am planning on putting on there...
-Survivor:China
-Kitchen Nightmares
-Dirty Sexy Money (Peter Krause, I would have his babies)

And of course the shows I already watch:
-The Office
-Greys Anatomy (are new episodes starting?)

I'm not sure what I'm going to do after tonight when Doodle requests "Brother" ... I have been telling him that "Flipping Out" is Brother, but now that's over too.

Anyhow, I'm back at work now, in kind of a daze, but it may be just what I need to stomach a Donato victory tonight. KWIS?

At least he's modest
A few nights ago, when we were trying to get Doodle to GO TO BED ALREADY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!!!, he was using his usual delaying tactics of a) getting us to read to him -- how could we deny a child who wants to read? b) pleading to not watch Wiggles or Doodlebops or one of his shows, but rather to watch "Brother" which has become his word for all shows Mommy likes to watch. But instead, we were watching the Indians game, or as he calls it, "Daddy's Baseball."

Doodle was sitting next to me on the couch, and would point out the various numbers he recognized on the screen. In the score box, he saw the number 4. He pointed to the number 3 on a player's jersey.

My hubby looked at Doodle and said, "Wow, Doodle, you're getting really good at counting!"

Before the word "counting" was out of his mouth, Doodle replied, "Yeah, I know."

Which sent us into fits of laughter. And delayed bedtime for another few minutes.

1000 words (these don't count)


They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Unfortunately, a picture taken from a crappy disposable camera isn’t.

So instead, here are a thousand words about this pic.

What you see here is my best furtive shot of Pete Yorn while performing at Blossom Music Center on August 20, 2007. I say “furtive” because I smuggled the camera into the venue in the waistband of my pants. I knew we had pavilion seats so there was a chance we’d be close enough to the stage where I could take a decent shot.

I had looked forward to this show all summer. Pete Yorn, one of my favorite musicians, opening for the inimitable Dave Matthews Band, whom I had never seen in concert. August 20, right smack dab in the heat of summer – what could be better?

Anyone from the Midwest recall the weather that week?

Yeah. It rained. And rained. And then poured. And it was cold enough to break out the jeans and long sleeves. Not to mention, the concert was on a Monday, so I took the day off, as well as Tuesday, thinking that I’d be able to enjoy some time in my backyard, lay out in the sun, get some yard work done. Mmm hmm. That didn’t happen.

I wasn’t too concerned about the rain impacting the concert, because I knew we’d stay relatively dry under the pavilion roof. Though, I was having flashbacks to my teen years, when I was in the last row of the pavilion for Lollapalooza (the year Pearl Jam, Nirvana, etc. were there) and it rained that day, and all the people from the grass behind us surged through the gate and suddenly we had 100 extra people in our row. But I digress.

We got there just in time to see Pete take the stage, and by some chance occurrence, the usher seated us one whole section in front of where we were supposed to be. We didn’t realize this until after he was done and we got up to get drinks in between Pete and Dave’s set, but it worked out great for me because I was really there to see him. He went on right at 7, and so not that many people had taken their seats. I felt kind of weird applauding loudly after each of his songs since no one else around us knew who the hell he was, but I saw some other fans sprinkled around the pavilion, too.

Since he was the opening act, he did an abbreviated version of his usual set, and included some cover songs. He opened with a Dead cover, “Friend of the Devil” that I’m sure a lot of the crowd recognized, and he ended with “Suspicious Minds” in homage to the late great Elvis Presley. And in between he did his classics, including my two favorites, “Strange Condition” and “Crystal Village.”

I should mention at this point that I had a vibe even before I got to the show that I was somehow going to meet Pete. I have seen some of Blossom’s opening acts set up a merch booth and sign autographs during the main show so I was kind of hoping for that.

Anyhoo. You will notice in the photo above that I have pointed out a fellow henceforth known as “Douchebag.” He came in the middle of Pete’s set and was about 6 or 7 rows in front of us. However, his friends had seats right next to us. For the entire set he kept turning around and yelling stuff to his friends. It was tres irritating especially when I was trying to hear “Strange Condition” and had to also have the Douchebag in my line of sight. I was actually glad when we found out our seats were farther back and thus away from the Douchebag and his Merry Marauders.

Pete finished his set and of course I was disappointed that it was over, but also excited to see Dave. I have heard that he just puts on a phenomenal live show. Admittedly, my knowledge of the DMB library ends at “Before These Crowded Streets” (the one that has “Crush” on it.) The first song he played, I believe, actually came from that CD, but after that I was kind of lost. Even my hubby, who is less of a DMB fan than me, knew more songs than I did.

OK, so this whole “meeting Pete” thing. Our seats were to the right of the stage and it just so happened that we could see into the artists’ parking lot when they came off stage. Immediately when Dave took the stage I noticed a member of Pete’s band come out and stand maybe two sections in front of where we were, and watch a couple of songs. I had the eagle eye out for Pete.

Sure enough, maybe 3-4 songs into it, here comes Pete out of the parking lot, through the VIP section, and into the crowd. He’s being led by a cute girl and it looks like he is going to sit down.

Here is the point in the story when I choke.

Even though I had a BB8 Amber-like vision that I was going to meet Pete, when it came down to Go Time, I was paralyzed. Also probably because I realized that I really had nothing to say and I also had my husband with me. I’ve been in situations before where I’ve met someone that I semi-idolized (former Indians player Jim Thome comes to mind) and I haven’t been able to properly craft a complete sentence.

We decided to leave early to avoid the traffic, and thanks to mother nature, the grass parking lot was now a mud pit. My little Corolla almost didn’t make it out. We heard later that many cars were stuck until the wee hours of the morning waiting for a tow.

Not quite the experience I had dreamed of, but an adventure nonetheless.

My ranking of the Wiggles characters in order from least tolerable to still not tolerable but more tolerable than the previous

Jeff
Murray
Dorothy the Dinosaur
Henry the Octopus
That pirate in Captain Feathersword's crew who has the wine corks hanging from his hat who has facial tics
Wags the Dog
Greg
Captain Feathersword
The rest of the pirates
Anthony

It's been a while
Since I posted about Bad Lady. She and I are getting along much better these days, but she still grates on my every last nerve. So she hasn't had much to do, and has been asking me for work. I've been giving her minor stuff that I know she can't eff up too bad.

She just called over to me and said, "So you know Sandy* whose business card you just had me do? She said she wants 'more options.' I don't DO 'more options.'"

"Dude, what ELSE do you have to do?" I asked. Maybe I didn't say dude. But I do say dude sometimes. I shouldn't.

"Stuff." Her witty retort.

"*exasperated sigh*"

Strange conditions
Date: August 20, 2007
Time: 12:08 p.m.
Current temperature: 60 degrees Farenheit
Current weather: Monsoon-like conditions

Likelihood I will not get wet at Pete/Dave concert tonight: zero

Who'da thunk?

Mystery Pic

Going through some old photos. I came across this one... made me laugh.


What's going on in this pic? Take a closer look...

Stormy weather
We've had rain on and off all week and last evening, we had a pretty nasty storm. Around 6:30, the power went out.

Try explaining to a 2-year-old why you cannot oblige his command for "lights on," or why the compelling episode of "Blue's Clues" has suddenly vanished off the TV.

We were without power for 45 minutes. But I swear it was more like 45 years.

Paranoid. Must. Shop.
Instead of the usual physical issues that go along with "that time of the month" for most women, I come down with mental issues. For instance, I always get an extreme paranoia about the other girls I work with -- that they are talking about me behind my back, that I'm being scrutinized at my job, etc.

Today is that day.

Add the fact that Doodle threw the most pathetic and heartwrenching tantrum this morning when I left him (read: abandoned) (read: I'm a horrible mom) at day care, and I've become a total train wreck.

My remedy? Go shoe shopping at lunch.

Unfortunately nothing struck my fancy, but somehow $60 worth of Bath and Body Works ended up coming back to work with me. I have no idea how that happened. I remember nothing.

Lolcats
I made my first lolcat pic... I ish ashamed for myself. Someone needs to give me some work to do.

Lucinda (a.k.a. "Unks")
We have really nice neighborhood cats.

You may remember my post about Walter, the kitty who stole my heart a few weeks ago. I am sorry to say that Walter has not made a return visit.

However, over the past week, another kitty has been sighted in our yard -- a smaller, female tortie who I have dubbed Lucinda. She likes to hang out by our non-grape grape arbor in the backyard. I saw her a few nights ago and went out to see if she was friendly. She mewed and approached me for some lovin'. Then she went back about her business of chillin' at the grapeless arbor.

Last evening after dinner I took Doodle outside, despite the nearly unbearable humidity, and Lucinda materialized and took a distant post to observe us.

"Unks!" shouted Doodle, for this is what he calls Uncle Dom, and also Aunt Peepers. "No, that's not Unks, it's another kitty," I told him. "Hi Unks," Doodle said.

Lucinda timidly approached us, and then rubbed on both me and Doodle for some attention. After she had her fill, she playfully flopped down in the grass. "Unks sleeping," Doodle told me, and he proceeded to also lay in the grass.

She hung around for the remainder of the time we were outside, until I finally decided it was time to go in and take a bath and get ready for bed. "Bye Unks!" Doodle said.

I find it very interesting, and odd, that two cats who are total strangers to Doodle and to my family have paid that child more attention than the two who live with him every day. You know, Unks and Unks.

Parking: $9
Admission ticket to park: $20
Confidence boost: Priceless

If you have any body or confidence issues whatsoever, I have a cure for you. When you look in the mirror and don't like what you see, or if you're feeling miserable about your life in general, it's time to take a field trip. Get a friend, preferably one with a great sense of humor. Drive to your local amusement park. Make a day of it, or just purchase a starlight admission -- most parks discount the fare after 5 p.m.

This worked for me this weekend. My husband and I decided to visit Geauga Lake, an amusement park close to where we live. It's a pretty decent park, but it's no Cedar Point.

Before we even purchased our admission tickets, I thanked my husband for taking me. I felt like Miss America walking into the park. It was an eye-opening experience, to say the least. I saw people in clothes several sizes to small, things bulging out of places from which I did not know things could bulge, people with fewer teeth than my son, bathing suits that creeped and crawled into folds of skin.

Once inside the park, we enjoyed ourselves, despite coming off each roller coaster with a feeling of "we're definitely too old for this." The night before, we had gone on a bike ride, after recently having our bixes fixed. I haven't been on a bike in at least 5 years, maybe more, and it showed. When I got off the bike, I could barely walk. My tailbone in particular was bothering me. So riding roller coasters the next day? Not a big help. The old wooden coasters tossed us around and my poor petuttie was aching. The Big Dipper, which is Ohio's oldest coaster at the ripe old age of 82, was a killer. Both my husband and I have battle scars from that ride. Mine is a huge, grape jelly-colored bruise on my hipbone. Seriously, I have never had a bruise this color. I'm not sure that I'll be able to reproduce after the jostling my insides got. Sorry, Doodle.

We also escaped peril by mere minutes. We were in line for the Double Loop, another one of the older coasters, and they had loaded the car ahead of us. We were next in line to go. Without warning or apparent reason, the ride operators, most of which were not U.S. natives, by the way, shut the ride down, citing mechanical failure, and apologized for the inconvenience. I bolted away from that ride faster than you can say class action lawsuit.

After about 2 1/2 hours, we had had enough. We rode everything we wanted to ride (Double Loop and a second closed-down coaster notwithstanding), we saw a little slice of Americana, and we felt good about ourselves and our lot in life.

It was time and money well spent.

Shameful...
Not gonna lie, I am so totally gonna watch this...

Twodle, now with bonus photo action!
When we all got home this evening, Doodle got to open some presents.



The first thing he opened was a pretend cell phone from my aunt. This was such a big hit that we couldn't open any more presents until the novelty of talking on the phone wore off.



The present opening was delayed further by the fact that an episode of the Doodlebops that we tivoed put Doodle in a bit of a trance. ALL YOUR DOODLE ARE BELONG TO US



We finally opened the rest of the presents, including an Elmo doll that was a huge hit, as well. I will promise to torture you with a video of all the Elmo action later on this week.

Before we ate dinner, I managed to get two bee stings, when I pulled up a tablecloth from our back patio, where a bunch of the pesky bugs had decided to build a nest, unbeknownst to me. Luckily Doodle was untouched.

After dinner, Grammy and Poppy stopped by to say hello (and brought some Raid to quell the angry hornets who were still buzzing around in search of revenge, an hour later). Once the bees had been given the bum's rush, Doodle was able to frolic for a while in the yard. With bubbles!





I think Uncle Dom was around here somewhere, but all I see in this pic is wrapping paper. ;)

Two-dle
Today, my little boy turns two years old. We have been hinting to him that his birthday is coming, and that he will be two, but it hasn't registered. I sang the "Happy Birthday" song to him, but he turns it into a game where I then have to sing happy birthday to half of the known world, including, all family members, including auxiliary family members Doodle has only met one time; all his girlfriends at school, DeeDee, Rooney and Moe (the Doodlebops), Elmo, Ernie, Bert, etc. This has, however, gotten us from the house to day care in lieu of driving this distance with a tantruming Doodle in the back. Every time the tantrum begins to brew I started the song again.

Last night I went to the grocery store, picked up mini cupcakes for his day care class today, ordered the half-sheet cake for the party we're having on Saturday (I was gravely disappointed to find that they did not have an Elmo cake. They had every other kids' characters, even freakin' Ratatoulle for god's sakes, but no Elmo), and then after Doodle went to bed I wrapped his presents that we'll give him tonight (an Elmo doll and a book about ladybugs). This morning when he woke up, I went in to his room to wish him a happy birthday.

"Hi, sweetie, it's your birthday today! You're two years old! What a big boy!"
"Go 'way, mommy."
"Did you just tell me to go away?"
"Go 'way."

OK then.

Did he wake up as a teenager this morning? Did we skip about twelve years? It's hard to believe it's already been two. Let's hope that this year isn't as "terrible" as they say it is.

Concert reviews

1. JOHN MAYER/BEN FOLDS JULY 1, 2007 BLOSSOM MUSIC CENTER

This was my third time seeing JM live at Blossom, but the first time that I did not have seats in the pavilion. I was kind of bummed about that, but it turns out that the lawn is an AWESOME people-watching venue! Half the time I forgot that I was at a concert, because I was so engrossed in the human drama around me. My sister-in-law and I enjoyed this immensely.

Ben Folds opened the show, and though I only own that one CD that everyone owns of his, the one that has "Brick" on it, I still recognized most of the songs he played. Which was weird. He also made us laugh out loud by his between-song banter, where he attempted to recreate the "Brown Note" -- the same frequency the military allegedly uses to make people crap their pants. He couldn't get down low enough but he said that the low tone he played was enough to make the weaker people "shart" -- which just about killed us.

During his set, a nearby Ben Folds MEGAFAN was shouting all the words, dancing, and interjecting certain catch phrases between songs, like, "Fuckin A", "Fuck Yeah," etc. John Mayer came out during the last song in BF's set and the megafan was not pleased. Not at all. Then, when the set ended, he loudly proclaimed that he had been ripped off, that Ben Folds should have been allowed to play longer (he played for about 45 minutes), and then the Megafan packed his stuff up and left before JM hit the stage.

John's set was awesome. He opened with "Belief" which is one of my favorite songs off of Continuum, and then went into "Why Georgia" -- another good one. He played a good mix of his three main albums, plus a John Mayer trio song, and another obscure one that I have heard before but can't place.

During the set, we had, at various times, intertwined lesbians, high school idiots, college idiots, drunk idiots, and a host of others around us. It made for some good snarkage.

For the encore, John treated the audience to my least favorite song in his reporitoire, "Your Body is a Wonderland," but he did it acoustic. The last time my sister-in-law and I went to see JM, we were trapped next to these obnoxious girls who shout-sang the lyrics to this song and even had hand motions to go along with the lyrics. Smartass that I am, I performed a slowed down version of their pantomime routine during this acoustic set. It was funny to me and my SIL, but people around us probably thought I was an idiot.

2. THE POLICE JULY 16, 2007 QUICKEN LOANS ARENA

As Andy Summers struck the opening chords of "Message in a Bottle," thus beginning the Cleveland show, the woman next to me (who looked and sounded remarkably like Kelly from "The Office") turned to me and said, "I bet you weren't even alive the first time these guys were on tour!" First of all, THANK YOU to that woman for making me feel not so old. But actually, yes, I was alive. I was in about the third or fourth grade when the Synchronicity album came out, and I also owned all of the prior albums (Ghost in the Machine, Zenyatta Mondata, Regatta de Blanc) on casette. This was largely due to a huge musical influence in my life -- my babysitter at the time, Carrie, who was a few years older than me and a HUGE Police fan. She and I would watch MTV and wait for the video to "Every Breath You Take" to come on, and we would listen to all the albums all the time.

Anyway, I am still riding the high from this concert. Every Police song that I could think of that I would want to hear live -- they did. They did some other great songs that fans of the Police would recognize, and they did a couple obscure songs that even I didn't know. Sting looked fantastic and sounded great. Every once in a while there seemed to be some kind of disconnect between Sting and Andy -- I couldn't tell who was at fault, but the music just seemed to be off. Also, Stewart Copeland was AWESOME. So much of what makes the music of the Police so great is the drums, and he was truly a showman. In addition to his standard drum set, he had a gong, a series of chimes and bells, and some other random percussion instruments. During certain points in the show, he would literally toss his drumsticks over his head, grab a brush, and get up to play the chimes. The song "Wrapped Around Your Finger", which is not one of my favorites normally, was probably the best song they did because of how cool Stewart's part was. When he was done on the chimes, he would again toss the brushes over his head, pick up a new set of drum sticks, and go right back to drumming. So cool.

My seats were in the LAST row of the Q (I hate calling it that, but to borrow a phrase, it is what it is), but at least we were facing the stage. There were screens set up above the stage so we could always see the action, and they also featured some retro Police graphics (for instance, the analog caricatures of the three band members that was the cover art for Ghost in the Machine, see below). So that was cool. Because we were up so high we could pretty much see everything and everyone, and that really added to my enjoyment of the show. To be part of such an enthusiastic crowd was really something special to me. I am so glad I was there.



3. LATER THIS SUMMER ... DAVE MATTHEWS/PETE YORN ... BLOSSOM MUSIC CENTER

I bought the tickets because I love Pete Yorn. But I have never seen Dave Matthews live, and I am looking forward to it. I'm not the hugest fan of his, I have his first three albums but then kind of lost interest. We have pavilion seats, which should be great, especially for Pete. I am totally going to be the Pete Yorn Megafan who is pissed that he didn't play longer.

Doodle's got talent
You're looking at the next John Popper (minus about 350 pounds)...

Parenting the parents
This is a "what would you have done" kind of situation. Since I'm still relatively new to the whole parenting thing, especially now that I actually have to "do" some parenting rather than feed, cuddle, bathe and diaper a basically helpless being, I'm unsure in certain situations what the proper thing to do would be.

Sunday morning I took Doodle to the playground. In the middle of the playground there is a large sandbox area. This little girl, probably about six years old, was playing by herself in the sand. This is important: there was no sign of adult supervision whatsoever. Upon Doodle's arrival she boisterously introduced herself to us and asked if she should "show him around" the playground. I told her no thanks, that we were just going to play in the sand. "Do you think he wants to watch a talent show?" she asked me. "Sure," I said, knowing full well that Doodle was going to do what Doodle wanted to do, when Doodle wanted to do it. So she goes down the slide and jumps around, and then for the grand finale -- the coup de gras -- she dumps a bucketful of sand on her head. Doodle thought this was great hilarity, and encouraged, she did it again. Then she offered to dump sand on Doodle's head, which I kibboshed.

She continued to try and show off for Doodle and make him laugh, but he was doing his own thing. She decided it was time for a second talent show. Right at that moment, either her mom or her grandma (could have been either) came up and said it was time for her to go. The little girl begged to do her talent show and so the grandma stood there to watch. She did the whole bit with the slide, the jumps, and then the bucket of sand over the head. When she did that, the grandma screamed in alarm and told her not to do that. Then the grandma looked at me and said, angrily, "Did YOU know she was going to do that?" I told her that she had been doing that several times.

Now here is my question. Was it my duty to parent that other little girl in addition to my own? To stop her from dumping sand on her head? Because sure, I wouldn't let Doodle do it, but other than getting dirty and probably getting all sorts of god knows what from the sand, skeeves, all over her, it was a harmless act, or so I thought.

Doodle fortuitously picked that time to toddle off, and so I went after him, but if the grandma had said anything further to me, I probably would have gone off on her for not watching her child in the first place. After she revealed herself I realized that this woman had been sitting back on a bench, talking on a cell phone, totally out of the line of sight of this little girl.

Just the beginning in a long line of struggles with other parents, I am sure.

Hello, post office? I'd like to mail in this post.
BB8 cast out today... woot. My pre-show hate is festering already!

Oh. here's a meme that I stole from myspace yet again...

1. Boxers or briefs?
on a dude, boxers.

2. Five star hotel or a tent in the woods?
not much of a camper, so, hotel.

3. If you were famous, what would you be famous for?
I always wanted to be a rock star, and a writer, but writers aren't that famous unless they're Steven King, so, let's go, rock star.

4. I'd like to hang out with:
some of my favorite musicians... Pete Yorn, Josh Rouse, etc.

5. I want my last meal to be:
Wow. A bag of Shearers potato chips (the ones in the black bag that used to be called "Grandpa's Choice"), a steak with baked potato, a big-ass piece of cheesecake from Cheesecake Factory.

6. Milk chocolate, dark chocolate, or white chocolate?
Dark. Accept no substitutions.

7. I've always wanted:
A horse.

8. For my first wish, I wish:
a happy life for my son.

9. The best things in life are:
family

10. Where was sexy before Justin Timberlake brought it back?
Outer Mongolia

11. Do you typically bring da noise, da funk, or da jell-o salad?
Da Funk, of course!

12. Who would you want to be with on a desert island?
should I give the p.c. answer of "my husband", or should I go for the more interesting and scandalous... how about Jeff Probst and fifteen other castaways?

13. If you were a candy bar, which would you be?
Heath bar

14. No matter how badly I needed the money, I'd never:
kill anyone

15. Take whatever you want. Just don't take my:
son

16. The older I get, the more I:
wish I hadn't slacked off so much in college

17. What's the first frivolous thing you'll buy when you're rich and famous?
a personal trainer

18. Ignorance is:
something I can barely stomach

19. I think they should legalize:
the wacky tabacky

20. Wal-Mart is:
a place I refuse to patronize.

21. I'd be totally screwed without:
my computer skills and writing skills

22. House in the country or apartment in the city?
house in the country -- I could get a horse!

23. What's the grossest thing you've ever eaten?
if I try and think about it I'll probably barf

24. If you had to get a tattoo, what would it be?
my son's name and birthdate

25. How old were you the last time you trick-or-treated?
high school -- freshman or sophomore?

26. Beauty or Brains?
brains. there's no plastic surgery to fix stupid.

27. If Mickey is a mouse and Pluto is a pup, what the hell is Goofy?
a more highly evolved being, we can't possibly understand

28. My parents should've known I'd be trouble when I:
knew how to spell C-A-T and D-O-G from my crib

29. Where would you like to go on vacation?
someplace warm, sandy, quiet

30. In retrospect, do you wish you had studied harder or had more fun?
both -- I wish I had been more outgoing in college and been more active in groups. I also wish I hadn't wasted my entire senior year goofing off.

31. I read 'Playboy' for the:
I'm a straight girl so I don't read or appreciate Playboy.

32. What was the best advice you ever received?
from a colleague on how to handle myself professionaly in various situations

33. What would your custom license plate be?
KATJAMB1

33. Mary Kate or Ashley?
Myrtle.

34. If you were to discover that the roof was on fire, what would you do?
Let the mo'fo' burn.

35. Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?
Who me? Yes you. Couldn't be. Then who?

36. Paris or Nicole?
To see ritually tortured? Paris.

37. Jessica Alba or Jessica Simpson?
Albacore. Which is tuna by the way. Which is a fish.

38. If I had a time machine, I'd:
go back... to the FUTURE!!!!

39. How many times have you broken your cell phone?
zero so far.

40. If you were coated in jelly, what flavor would you prefer?
k-y? too obvious?

41. What was the best movie this year?
I don't get out much.

44. One in the hand is worth two in the:
George W.

45. I'd like to smack:
oh jeez. so many choices. several co-workers. paris. britney.

46. I will never tell anyone:
anything I think will hurt their feelings. I'm kind of a pansy that way.

47. When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
rock star!

48. What's your favorite candy?
candy cigarettes -- even though they can't be called that anymore. now they're just "candy sticks"

49. What advice would you give your younger self?
Don't do drugs. Stay in school.

50. Fame or Fortune?
Fame! I'm gonna live forever, I'm going to learn how to fly. High.

51. You can see my place, but don't look in my:
basement (that's where the bodies are buried)

52. My parents would kill me if I came home with:
a piercing/tattoo

53. Would you rather own a dog named Growler or a parrot named Captain?
Yarr! Captain, me mateys!

54. When they write my obituary, I hope they mention:
my stunning beauty

55. Truth or Dare?
truth. I hate embarrassing myself.

56. When the world ends, I will be:
waiting to see how it all winds up.

Walter
Last evening, there was a plan. And the plan was to go out after dinner and get custard. Jackpot! One of my favorite things to do in the summertime. It was our first custard outing of the season.

We're walking out of the house and Doodle sees his ball. His eyes light up and he runs to our back patio to get it. We follow. As the three of us reach the patio, we hear this high-pitched "meeeEEEEEEEEEeeeeew? meeew? mew?"

My first thought was that Molly had gotten out of the house somehow, because she makes the same kind of pathetic mewing sounds.

But it wasn't. It was Walter.

This little, dark grey tabby kitty was hanging out on our patio. I'm always a little wary of strange animals, especially ones I haven't seen before, because who knows their story -- are they strays? Do they have diseases? Fleas? Are they going to bite my child?

But Walter -- Walter wasn't like that. Walter walked right up to my husband to be petted. When my husband stopped petting him, he walked right up to Doodle. My OWN cats don't even do that! When he realized Doodle was not going to pet him, but rather, doink him repeatedly with a big blue bouncy ball, he came over to me.

He was such a sweetheart -- I immediately looked at my husband with puppy dog eyes. "We already have two cats," he said. I made the pouty face.

We hung around and petted Walter for a little while longer, and then there was this thing we had to do. The CUSTARD! I didn't want to leave Walter there. I wondered if he belonged to a neighbor, or if he was a stray, runaway, whatever. He has no collar, he doesn't look to be spayed (yes, I checked, thank you very much -- well, not so much checked, as noticed, that he still had his testicles). He does have a freshly-scabbed war wound behind one of his ears, and the tip of that ear looks like it got either bitten off or bent. But he didn't appear to be hungry, and he definitely wasn't afraid of people, or children.

As we started to get Doodle into his car seat, Walter stretched himself out in our driveway, rolled onto his back with his legs in the air, and then chilled out. We made our break and went to get custard.

I was hoping that he'd still be there when we got home. Like he had chosen to stay with us. You know how sometimes, kitties pick their owners, not the other way around?

But he wasn't.

Throughout the evening before the sun set, I kept looking out the windows to see if maybe I could see Walter lounging in the bushes, or in the grass, but I saw no further sign of him.

And I had picked a name for him and everything.

OMFG
Remember a few weeks ago when I said that the Bratz movie was the worst idea I'd heard since Spice World?
I was wrong.

The 80's meme
Mailing it in yet again... one of these days I will post something "real"...

Did you listen to New Kids on the Block?
Shamefully, I did.

Did you ever own a slap bracelet?
I think I was too old when these came out

The Babysitter's Club or Sweet Valley High?
Sweet Valley High all the way.

Salute Your Shorts or Hey Dude?
Again, I was a little too old for this but I do remember "Salute Your Shorts."

Kids Incorporated or The Mickey Mouse Club?
neither -- again, too old

Did you want Dylan to end up w/ Brenda or Kelly?
Brenda

Who was ALF?
a furry alien from the planet Melmac

Do you remember the show Dinosaurs?
nope

Kimmie Gibler or Urkel?
Ugh... neither. Both were uber annoying

Blossom or Clarissa Explains It All?
Clarissa

Did you have a crush on JTT?
Obviously not because I have no clue who that is

Bobby Brown or Tevin Campbell?
Bobby B

Step By Step or Full House?
neither

Did you listen to Milli Vanilli?
Mmm hmm. I still have the cd that I drag out to make people laugh

Mr. Rogers or Reading Rainbow?
Mr. Rogers. Again, Reading Rainbow came on after I was too "grown up" to watch it.

Did you own a Glo Worm?
No but my friend did and I had jealousy issues

Paula Abdul: better now or then?
The "Cold Hearted" video was the bomb back in 8th grade when I listened to that kind of music

Wild 'n' Crazy Kids or Double Dare?
Hell yeah, Double Dare.

Remember Legends of the Hidden Temple?
no

The Mighty Ducks or The Little Giants?
Again, never saw either of these.

Did you watch Saved By The Bell?
heck yeah, in fact there was a huge dinnertime conversation with my in-laws recently and the family is now divided into Those Who Watched and Those Who Didn't

Who was hotter: Zack or Slater?
Mark-Paul Gosselaar; Mario Lopez was a chach

Camp Nowhere or House Arrest?
huh?

Did you own a pair of Reebok Pumps?
Embarrassingly I think I did... for 7th or 8th grade basketball

Carebears or Smurfs?
Smurfs. I thought Care Bears were lame.

Rainbow Brite or Strawberry Shortcake?
Strawberry Shortcake, Huckleberry Pie!

Did you own a pair of Jelly Shoes?
In fuschia and clear.

Did you own a Trapper Keeper?
Hell yes. It had horses on it *heart*

Atari or Nintendo?
Nintendo -- all my friends came to my house to play Super Mario and Zelda

Mailing it in... a meme post
I stole this from a MySpace bulletin so some of the questions relate to myspace. Oh well.

1. If I were a doll, the accessories packaged with me would be:
lip balm, a laptop and a toddler with toddler accessories

2. I have an irrational fear of:
balloons, birds and clowns

3. What type of food do you eat at your grandparents' house?
when I was younger, my grandma would always make fresh french fries in the deep fryer for my cousin and I. They were awesome.

4. How much did you weigh when you were born?
6 lbs, same as my son did

5. Do you stalk anyone on Myspace?
"stalk" is such a strong word...

6. I am too old to:
watch "The Real World" on MTV

7. I find the thought of childbirth:
a semi-pleasant memory and a hope for the future

8. My feet are:
gross. Like everyone's feet are.

9. My preferred style of jeans is:
boot cut

10. I know how to cook:
very few things. Luckily my husband does 99% of the cooking.

11. Men should always:
hold the door for me

12. Women should never:
wear tube tops

13. What child-related smell do you not like?
Desitin, Baby Magic

14. What sea creature scares you?
Nessie

15. What object have you broken most recently?
My watch band

16. Name one of the Spice Girls?
I think I can do them all... Scary, Baby, Posh, Sporty, oh shit. There's one more. I guess I can do 4/5.

17. What was the last thing to make you cry?
When Charlie was supposed to die on "lost" and left hte note for Claire, it got me a little bit choked up, but no actual tears flowed.

18 I would like to be in an advertisement for?:
something like Diet Pepsi where I could get a lifetime supply

19. What are the stems of wine glasses for?
to curl your pinky around

20. My favorite shoes are:
black semi-dressy flip flops

21. Can you use chopsticks?
not very well

22. Do you prefer beaches or forests?
beaches

24. Have you ever drank alcohol straight from the bottle?
prolly.

25. When's the last time you chose a bath over a shower?
when I was pregnant I took a bubble bath

26. Do you have a job?
yes

27. Are you friends with your last ex:
nope

28. What are you wearing?
khaki skirt and green top

29. Have you ever crawled through a window?
yes

30. Name one thing that is always on your mind?
I've got my mind on my money and my money on my mind

31. Full House or Brady Bunch?
Brady Bunch.

32. Relationships or one night stands?
Relationships

33. Who was the last person that made you cry?
I don't know...

34. Last time you kissed someone?
This morning

35. Name five things you did today.
Woke up, got out of bed, dragged a comb across my head, found my way downstairs and drank a cup, and looking up, I noticed I was late...

36. What color is your bedroom floor?
neutral beige carpet

37. What are you doing tomorrow?
see #35

38. Favorite Old School TV show:
Family Ties -- I had a huge crush on Michael J. Fox

39. If you were a frozen treat, what would you be?
cookie puss

40. What food describes your current mood?
bratwurst

The reaction I (and probably everyone else) had when watching a certain series finale last night
Oh my God, it's just going to end.
Wait, who's that guy at the counter? He's going to kill Tony!
Why are they spending so much time on Meadow parking the car?
THEY'RE GOING TO KILL EVERYONE EXCEPT MEADOW?????
Oh no, gang bangers. It will be a random act of violence! That's lame...
There's Mead-- what? WHAT HAPPENED TO THE TV? DID THE DVR DIE? WTF? WTF? WTF?

(Credits roll)

Don't eat the green brownies
First, there was the guy in Michigan.
Not to be outdone, an Ohioan from my neck of the woods decided to follow suit.
Now maybe I'm crazy, but isn't the LAST phone call you want to make, after eating some funky brownies, to the cops?

Off the Lot
I started tivoing the latest Mark Burnett joint, On the Lot, because I figured, a) it's a Mark Burnett joint; b) Spielberg; c) aspiring filmmakers. What's not to like!

The first two episodes, which were more of the semifinals, were very enjoyable. The field was narrowed to eighteen. Then the show's format went to something similar to RockStar: INXS/Supernova, where each person gets to show their work, the judges comment, and then America votes.

The contestants are obviously very talented (most of them anyway) and I love everything about this show, except:
1. Carrie Fisher.
2. The hostess and her Seacrest-esque dialogue.
3. Carrie Fisher's voice.
4. Gary Marshall's comments about how much he loves female directors. Did someone accuse him of being a misogynist or something?
5. The critiquing style of Carrie Fisher. Apparently, one of the most important things in a film is a beginning, middle and end. At least, to her. And she must have made that comment, well, eighteen times!
6. The fact that I really can't stand the sound of Princess Leia's voice, her overexaggerated hand gestures, or the fact that she epitomizes the sterotype of an artsy, drama club kid who's all grown up. It's devastating because I used to want to BE Princess Leia, and now... eeesh.
7. The guy who made the movie about a "nerd" who obviously was supposed to be mentally disabled, and then acted shocked when people thought that.
8. The guy who says it's his last chance to make it because he has two kids. And no further explanation. His wife must be telling him to "get a real job." But somehow this is supposed to evoke sympathy.

It's a good thing I have a DVR, otherwise this show would be off my radar. I can still watch the films, fast forward through C.F., and see who gets voted off, in about 15 minutes!

May 2007 Photoblog

Greetings. *wipes yogurt off face*


I enjoyed my Mother's Day with a trip to the zoo. Oh look! A two-headed giraffe!



Phew. Here's a normal, one-headed giraffe.



Doodle's favorites, other than the giraffes, were the sea lions. Here he is watching them.



Ever the entertainer, Doodle has some big shoes to fill.



Uncle Dom got a new scratching post since he has snubbed the one we bought for him a few months ago. He promptly went insane when the new one was introduced:



It's time to go catch some rays!



Until next time... sayonara.

So, You Think You Can Dance?


Doodle's got the moves.
Edited to add: Holy cats! My house -- it's trashed!
When I ask him to see his move, I'm talking about his patented dance move that he, unfortunately, would not perform for this video. Someday you will see it. I promise it will be good enough to wait for.

But wait -- there's more!
Now the post where I brag.
Doodle went pee-pee on the potty!
Not just once, but TWO DAYS IN A ROW at school.
I've told you how much he loves to sit on the potty but something actually happened on Wednesday. And they called me to tell me. Then I promptly called my mom.
"You're calling to tell me about my grandson's bodily functions?" she asked.
"Well, yeah!"
"Is this what we've come to?"
"I guess so."

When I went in to day care on Thursday I asked if they thought it was merely coincidence that Doodle pee-peed on the potty. We thought it probably was. But then oops, he did it again on Thursday! Coincidence? I think not.

This means that this weekend, I am going to have to read up on potty training. Because I am clueless. Totally clueless.

Another Friday, another Meme

Whats your middle name?
Andrea

How big is your bed?
Queen

What are you listening to right now?
New Maroon 5 CD -- this is my first "real" listen so I haven't decided if I like it yet or not

What are the last 4 digits in your cellphone number?
9796

What was the last thing you ate?
a piece of cantaloupe

Last person you huggged?
My son this morning :)

How is the weather right now?
Gorgeous -- in the 70's and climbing

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
A client - just left them a voicemail

What is the first thing u notice in the opposite sex?
face/eyes

Favorite type of Food.
you can pretty much fry anything and it tastes good

Do you want children?
too late, I have one. But yes, I want another one.

Do you drink?
Not a ton but yes

Ever get so drunk you don't remember the entire night?
no

Hair color?
at the moment, red-brown with highlights

Eye color?
brown

Do you wear contacts/glasses?
yes -- I'm blind as a bat

Favorite holiday?
Fourth of July

Favorite Season?
Summer

Have you ever cried over a girl/boy?
yes, and listened to sad music

Last Movie you Watched?
The Breakup

What books are you reading?
"The Happiest Toddler on the Block"
"Thank You For Smoking"

Piercings?
3 on left ear, 1 in right, one failed eyebrow piercing when I was 19 that left a very lovely scar

Favorite Movie?
My all-time favorite is Back to the Future. Yeah, I know that's lame. What can I say? I loved me some Michael J. Fox when I was little.

Favorite college football Team?
M GO BLUE

What were you doing before filling this out?
Making a copy of the Maroon 5 CD for a co-irker

Any pets?
Dom and Molly -- cats

Dogs or cats?
see above. But actually I am a dog person.

Favorite Flower?
lilacs

Have you ever loved someone?
yes

Who would you like to see right now?
my boss, telling us to go home early for the holiday weekend

Have you ever fired a gun?
I hate guns.

Do you like to travel by plane?
not especially

Right-handed or Left-handed?
I'm a lefty

If you could go any place right now, where would you go?
Hawaii

Are you missing someone?
yes

Do you have a tattoo?
no

Do you still watch cartoons on Saturday mornings?
yes, whatever Doodle's watching.

Are you hiding something from someone?
No... *shifty eyes*

WHAT IS THE WALLPAPER ON YOUR CELLPHONE?
Cellphones have wallpaper?

DID YOU GET ENOUGH SLEEP LAST NIGHT?
no -- I'm sick so I could have used a few more hours

FIRST THING YOU THOUGHT ABOUT THIS MORNING?
someone I had a dream about

WHAT DO YOU HAVE HANDY AT YOUR BEDSIDE?
at the moment, kleenex, my glasses, alarm clock

GRILLED OR FRIED?
fried

WHAT MAKES YOU UNIQUE?
I have perfect pitch

ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
sometimes

FAVORITE HANGOUT?
the Lizard

3 THINGS YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT?
chapstick, Diet Coke

FAVORITE SONG?
this changes daily, but today I'd say "Strange Condition" by Pete Yorn.

WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF?
clowns, loud noises, guns

WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
Kat, Kath

WHAT IS YOUR DADS MIDDLE NAME?
Andrew

WHATS YOUR MOTHERS MIDDLE NAME?
Marie

STUCK ON A DESERTED ISLAND & COULD TAKE ONE THING?
iPod

FAVORITE T.V. COMMERCIAL?
Geico caveman series

WHO'S YOUR CELL PHONE PROVIDER?
Cingular is now the new AT&T!

FIRST THING YOU'LL SAVE IN A FIRE?
my family and kitties, and then if there's time my photos

Whats your favorite color?
pale blue

WHAT ARE THE THINGS YOU ALWAYS TAKE WITH YOU?
everything in my purse, chapstick

WHAT DID YOU WANNA BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID?
rock star

THE COLOR OF YOUR BEDSHEEt?
light blue

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT BEFORE YOU GO TO BED?
usually work

Technology
Did anyone else Tivo the American Idol finale last night? I did, because I can't watch the show live. I have to be able to fast forward through the stupid or boring parts (read: 99% of the show).

My DVR, as I suspect is the case with all DVR's, can only record two shows at once, and then you either have to watch one of those shows, or watch something else that you have already recorded. While Idol was on I was also recording "Lost", so I was watching some other shows that I need to catch up on, like "Entourage" and some other junk. From time to time I'd switch to Idol and fast forward through the nonsense, then switch back off when I caught up with the live show.

At 10, when the show was supposed to end, I also had two shows recording. "Lost" again, and "Shear Genius" I believe. So I took that time to finish watching Idol.

STUPID EFFING SHOW WENT OVER so I had no idea who won. My recording ended WAY before they even got CLOSE to announcing the winner (which, yeah, I knew was going to be Jordin, but STILL). So then I had to get on the Internet just to confirm that Jordin won.

So my gripe is with American Idol's producers. They have to know that people are tuning in mostly to see the winner announced. Could they at least keep the show running on time so those of us who cannot, or refuse to, watch it live have a shot to see the end of the show?

'Kay thanks.

Fortune Cookie

My Fortune Cookie told me: You may be infinitely smaller than some things, but you're infinitely larger than others. Get a cookie from Miss Fortune

Truckin'
I'm on the Turnpike 5 days a week, and so I've seen my fair share of strange travelers and odd bumper stickers. But every once in a while, I see something on a truck that just makes me shake my head.

A few months ago I saw one of those big livestock trucks, full of cows, and there was a decal on the back of the truck that said something like, "Bessie's Last Ride." Ew. Come on. I'm not naive, but I really don't need to have it spelled out that the cows are on their way to the big pasture in the sky.

Last week, I passed a truck making the fine suggestion to "Show Your Pride -- Flash My Ride." I'll flash your ride allright ... with my middle finger.

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