All in a day's work

Here are some of the duties I performed today that are not part of my normal job description:

1. Showed a co-worker how to save an attachment to disk. (May as well be my job; I show this same co-worker how to do the same thing daily.)
2. Filled a jack-0-lantern with candy. Pirated a bag of York Peppermint Patties. Which, by the way, are so good right now I can't even tell you.
3. Hunted down a nonexistent company mission statement. Was tempted to make something up.
4. Called someone to tell them to call my boss so he can yell at them.