Wednesday, March 24

You know what's kind of gross? When you get a delivery from someone who smokes and the papers reek of cigarette smoke. Don't get me wrong -- I used to smoke for several years. But now, it is really noticeable to me when people are smokers. I don't think you realize when you smoke how bad you smell. Your clothes stink. When you ride the elevator, the elevator stinks for minutes after you are gone. The stall in the restroom smells when you leave it.

I can't believe I ever smelled that bad, but I probably did.

I remember turning in an English paper in high school and when I gotten it back, my teacher had written, "This paper REEKS of cigarette smoke!"

Smoking also was the reason I got a Saturday suspension in high school. In my entire life, other than the time one of the nuns caught me passing notes in 8th grade (which is a whole other story for another time), this was the only time I've been in serious trouble at school. We were on an overnight trip to New York City. My friends and I had the brilliant idea to light up in our hotel room before we met up with our group to go to dinner. This meant that we had to open our hotel room window. We had been instructed by the nuns, that under no circumstances should we open the window in our hotel room. A few years prior, a high school student had been killed during a school trip -- he had fallen out of an open window in his hotel. So this was the major taboo at the time.

Anyhow. We're smoking out the window, and some friends of ours who were in a room down the hall were knocking loudly on the door and we told them to go away. A few minutes later, the loud knocking returned. "It's Sister Maria," the voice said. As some of us mean Catholic school girls were known to imitate Sr. Maria's voice, we countered with some smartass remark. The voice on the other side turned evil and we knew we were dead. "This IS Sister Maria, LET ME IN." Things went from bad to worse. Quickly extinguishing our cigarettes and throwing them out the window, we tried our best to air out the room before we let her in.

"Why is the window open?" were her first words. Then, "Were you smoking in here?"

Our Saturday suspension involved counting pennies from a Penny War between the grades. Manually. For hours.

Kids, this is why you shouldn't smoke!

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