Surreal
If you aren't watching "The Surreal Life," maybe you should be. A bunch of washed-up celebrities living in a house together for two weeks! And forced to do activites together such as taking brownies to their neighbors, working in a restaurant for charity, and getting shitty drunk. The show features Trishelle, my most hated Real World skank ever, Vanilla Ice, or as he likes to be called now, Rob Van Winkle (I think), Erik Estrada, best known for being Ponch on CHiPS, some Baywatch babe, porn legend Ron Jeremy, and last but not least, Tammy Faye Messner, best known for her facial spackle. And who, by the way, has a voice that could call a dolphin from 25 miles away.

In last night's episode, guest "star" Gary Coleman was their manager as the gang had to work in a restaurant, Mel's Diner, for a five-hour shift. All proceeds went to charity. Gary was the taskmaster, yelling, screaming, and yet still being just so cute you could pinch him! The celebs, not accustomed to doing such hard labor, were slow, screwed up orders, and generally pissing off the customers. But the straw that broke the camel's back was when Todd Bridges, Gary's co-star on Diff'Rent Strokes, came to the restaurant to dine, and Vanilla Ice tried to get Gary to say "What you talkin' about, Willis?" Gary refused and walked off the job.

Back at the Surreal Life house, the drinking commences and sexual tension erupts between Baywatch chick and Ron Jeremy. Uh, ew? How many women do you think Ron Jeremy has schtupped in his lifetime? Not to mention, as all men in porn movies are (so I've heard), he is overweight, greasy-haired, anti-attractive. But he's got a rather large... personality.

And next week, Trashelle claims, while drunk, to be in love with Vanilla Ice.

The Surreal Life airs, where else, on the W.B. Sunday at 9 and then reruns Monday at 9. So watch tonight!