Deck the freakin' halls
Today is that magical day, that special time of year, where ye olde office mates gather in a party room at a local hotel and consume mad alcohol, undercooked meat, veggies and dip, and mass quantities of cheese and crackers. That's right, folks, it's the annual company holiday party! Beginning at 2 this afternoon, this festival of debauchery will feature a drunken escapade by at least one person, on the dance floor. This usually involves saying someone is "hot" and trying to dance with them. And it's usually a president of the company, who is happily married, and who is unhappily mortified at the experience.

It's always somewhat embarrassing for everyone in attendance to see the booty shaking that goes on at these affairs; at least it is for me. When I witness the booty shaking, I'm always so horribly curious about it, that I can't stop staring. Sure, they are having a good time, but at what cost? Do you really want to be known for grinding on the accounting manager? Not so much. Because that's the stuff that is never forgotten. It's kept alive by the likes of the Diet Club, who sit in the lunch room the next Monday and repeat to anyone who will listen, "Did you see so-and-so on the dance floor?" *giggle* And then it finally gets back to you that you're the topic of conversation. You vaguely remember dancing, but not with whom or for how long.

Friends, don't let this happen to you! Don't be that person at the holiday party! Don't tell your boss you think he's hot! Don't hit on the catering staff and make them try to dance with you!

I have seen all of these things, and I can tell you, it ain't pretty.