Tuesday, December 14

Fa la la la f-you
It's the most annoying commute of the year!
Where my tires are a-slidin' and I'm white-knuckle drivin'
To get my ass here....
It's the most annoying commute of the year.

I'm not a fan of the snow. Never have been, never will, and I know that I have no right to whine about it because I choose to live in Ohio, but... I. Fucking. HATE IT!!!!!!!!

Last night's drive home: 2 hours, 15 minutes. Most of which was spent on the road where my office is, trying to get on the highway.

This morning's commute into work: 1 hour, 20 minutes. Most of which was spent in so-called rubbernecker delays. Nothing pisses me off more than a rubbernecker delay. Ooh! Look! A car has spun off into the median! Look! A person is sitting inside the car, smoking a cigarette! Wow. Oh look! Another one spun off! Wow. I have NEVER seen anything like this before! My goodness.

By the fourth car that has spun off the road, I'm over it. Yeah, I rubbernecked at the first one. I figure, everyone else is looking at it, why shouldn't I take a gander as well?

My greatest fear, however, is the dreaded Black Ice. Wouldn't that be a great name for a female African American wrestler? Or someone on American Gladiators? Oh Lord, the black ice scares the crap out of me. Because I know from experience that you don't have to be going too fast to do a shit-ton of damage to your car if you hit a patch of it. The black ice is what keeps me going a at a snail's pace, leaving about 15 car lengths between myself and the car in front of me, and gripping the wheel extra tight when a truck passes me to the left.

So I guess winter has finally arrived. I had totally convinced myself that we were going to get off scot-free this winter. That global warming stuff, if it could just center itself over northeast Ohio, that would be cool with me. Warm us up to about Hawaii's temperature? Yeah. That'll work.

But even worse than my commute to work today... the cherry on top of my already shitty mood... me and Bad Lady are wearing the EXACT SAME sweater. I accessorized mine with a brown jacket, but there's no mistaking it. Dammit, I just bought this sweater, too. And it's cute as hell. But there's no excuse -- the sweater must be burned.

Oh, and I didn't even tell you about yesterday! Let's see... get to work, and the power's out. Walk up four dark flights of stairs (exercise? bah humbug) and overhear one of the Presidents tell my boss that he is leaving, and that my boss has to make an "executive decision" whether or not to let us go home. By all estimations, they have heard that it will be 4 to 5 hours before the power comes on because some transformer blew or something. So we wait. And we wait. My boss says nothing to us.

We clean our desks. We file. We sit around and bullshit and whine.

It's 11 a.m., and we're still without power. The backup power is also out at this point. We are beginning to form an angry mob. We've all decided that we are leaving, because the day is going to be a total waste.

With that, the lights flicker on. We learn later that another President had called in to his assistant and told her to tell everyone to go home. We were that close!

And then the snow started. And you know the rest.

Happy holidays.


GreenTuna said...

Identical Clothing, Black Ice and Power Outages. Seems like you hit the trifecta yesterday. Maybe you can just prentend you are inspiring BL to greatness with your wardrobe....

Cops said...

Ditto that, minus the matching sweater and power outage. Multiply it by the snow belt factor, and we shared the same day yesterday. Oh, and a car was on fire on the opposite side of the freeway this morning...another slow commute.


Margaret said...

Black ice is the only thing they talk about here in Germany. The snow is a given.

Black Ice...that is the perfect name for my all female Black country band!! Thanks! Once P.Diddy samples one of our songs, we'll give you .00000003% of our earnings!