B.Q. of R.
This is not going to be your typical SketchFactor post, so apologies in advance. But the news of the weekend, that being my sister-in-law's pregnancy, has kind of thrown me into a tizzy. And so I have become the Bitch Queen of Rage.

Bitch Queen of Rage screams at her husband endlessly and uses the word "fuck" a lot. A LOT. Bitch Queen of Rage throws pillows around the living room because she really wants to throw her sister-in-law around the living room.

Bitch Queen of Rage cries a lot, too. And doesn't sleep well. She wakes up in the middle of the night and wakes up her husband just so she can yell some more.

95% of you don't know my sister-in-law, but those of you who do, probably understand. I have made veiled mention of her in this space because I could literally write a novel about her life every week. That's one novel PER WEEK. A serial saga, if you will. And I don't like to post about her because she's family and I feel that some parts of my life should be kept private. But Bitch Queen of Rage doesn't agree.

Bitch Queen of Rage wants you to know that my sister-in-law has had her fair share of hard luck. But most of it she brings upon herself. There are some external factors, such as mental illness, that can't be helped, but the people with whom she chooses to surround herself, the substances she chooses to put in her body, and the decisions she makes, are all harmful to her. And this is just the latest example.

She can't take care of a child. She can't even take care of herself. We worry every day that she is going to wind up dead, either from an overdose or because someone has murdered her. She disappears for days on end without anyone knowing where she is. She can't take care of simple paperwork and her benefits lapse all the time.

Why, all of a sudden, she thinks she can straighten out for a child (which would mean quitting smoking, quitting all of her current necessary medication, quitting her self-medication, quitting hanging out with the shady crowd, and getting her shit together otherwise) is beyond me. This child, if she has it, will become either her parents' child, or, MY child. I guarantee it. Not to mention, that with all the substance abuse, this child has a high possibility of having some serious physical and mental disabilities right off the bat.

Am I being selfish to think that this baby is the worst possible thing that could happen to her and to my husband's family? I don't think so. No one in the family wants her to have it. But I think she's made up her mind already.

Bitch Queen of Rage wants to find her and get in her face and ask her how stupid could she have been to get herself in this situation and how she is making the biggest mistake of her life if she wants to have it, but what good is that going to do?

So Bitch Queen of Rage will stay at home and be quietly angry.