Parenting the parents
This is a "what would you have done" kind of situation. Since I'm still relatively new to the whole parenting thing, especially now that I actually have to "do" some parenting rather than feed, cuddle, bathe and diaper a basically helpless being, I'm unsure in certain situations what the proper thing to do would be.
Sunday morning I took Doodle to the playground. In the middle of the playground there is a large sandbox area. This little girl, probably about six years old, was playing by herself in the sand. This is important: there was no sign of adult supervision whatsoever. Upon Doodle's arrival she boisterously introduced herself to us and asked if she should "show him around" the playground. I told her no thanks, that we were just going to play in the sand. "Do you think he wants to watch a talent show?" she asked me. "Sure," I said, knowing full well that Doodle was going to do what Doodle wanted to do, when Doodle wanted to do it. So she goes down the slide and jumps around, and then for the grand finale -- the coup de gras -- she dumps a bucketful of sand on her head. Doodle thought this was great hilarity, and encouraged, she did it again. Then she offered to dump sand on Doodle's head, which I kibboshed.
She continued to try and show off for Doodle and make him laugh, but he was doing his own thing. She decided it was time for a second talent show. Right at that moment, either her mom or her grandma (could have been either) came up and said it was time for her to go. The little girl begged to do her talent show and so the grandma stood there to watch. She did the whole bit with the slide, the jumps, and then the bucket of sand over the head. When she did that, the grandma screamed in alarm and told her not to do that. Then the grandma looked at me and said, angrily, "Did YOU know she was going to do that?" I told her that she had been doing that several times.
Now here is my question. Was it my duty to parent that other little girl in addition to my own? To stop her from dumping sand on her head? Because sure, I wouldn't let Doodle do it, but other than getting dirty and probably getting all sorts of god knows what from the sand, skeeves, all over her, it was a harmless act, or so I thought.
Doodle fortuitously picked that time to toddle off, and so I went after him, but if the grandma had said anything further to me, I probably would have gone off on her for not watching her child in the first place. After she revealed herself I realized that this woman had been sitting back on a bench, talking on a cell phone, totally out of the line of sight of this little girl.
Just the beginning in a long line of struggles with other parents, I am sure.
Like a waterfall in slow motion, Part One
1 year ago
4 comments:
Was it your job to parent somebody else? Absolutely not. Was Grandma out of line? Yes, and then some. If an adult doesn't want a kid to get into mischief, should darn well be with said child supervising. And none of this even addresses the issue of safety (from a physical crack your head open on the equipment to out of control animals to to watch out for creepy people handing around kids at the playground). That being said, if I saw a kid raise a bucket of sand over their head, I might say, "Oh I don't think that's a good idea..." but that's as far as I would have gone. Who am I to stifle talent, anyway?
What greentuna said.
I would have asked where were the child's supervision? You don't become the supervisor relieving them of their responsibility by just showing up.
With that said, I know you would not have let her do anything that would likely be actually harmful.
YOU WERE KIND.....I WOULD HAVE PICKED UP THE BUCKET OF SAND AND DUMPED IT OVER THE INCOMPETANT GRANDMA'S HEAD. PS. BEWARE OF PLAYGROUND SAND...CATS LOVE TO DO THEIR THaNG IN THEM...AS I FOUND OUT THE HARD WAY WHEN MY TODDLER FOUND A "TOOTSIE ROLL" IN OUR LOCAL SAND BOX. (THROUGH MY SUPERVISION, HOWEVER, AN INTERVENTION ENSUED AND INGESTION WAS AVOIDED)...tawns
I second Tuna...I might have casually mentioned to the little girl that she might not want to do that- now, as my kids have gotten older, I have gotten where I will correct someone else's child if they are out of line- ex: I'm at a football game last fall, and some middle schoolers were talking CARAZY around us- I turned around and asked one girl that I knew (sort of) if she talked like that in front her mother? She shut up.
The grandma had a lot of nerve talking to YOU like that. Hmph.
trac
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