Do Not Call
Dear Sarah/Debbie/Karen, or whatever the hell your name was, the Perky OU Senior Who Called Me Tonight On The Pretense of Updating the Alumni Database But Really Wanting Me to Send Lots and Lots of Money to Fund Various Things Such as Technology:

I had a really, really bad day today. I couldn't sleep last night, and so I'm tired. And grouchy.

And also, you interrupted taco night. Which is every Monday, for future reference.

So forgive me if I laughed out loud when you asked if I would be comfortable with a donation level of $500. I probably would have stifled the chuckle if you had caught me on any other day. But unlucky for you, you picked today to dial my number and get me on the phone. I humored you for a minute, answering your stupid questions, but then I turned cold. Pity, really. I could have been the older sister you never had. I really felt like we were beginning to bond when you asked me if the address you had on file was current, and was I still employed at Company X, even though you pronounced the name wrong.

So Mindy/Suzy/Laurie, I apologize.

But you're still not getting my money.