In mourning
Late last night, I finally worked up the gumption to watch Nate Fisher die.

I've been watching the cleaned-up reruns of Six Feet Under that Bravo's been showing. Almost immediately, I knew that this was one of my all-time favorite TV shows. The characters are so flawed, and so real, that I have felt like I actually know these people. When I see the actors turn up on other shows (George, most recently, as Jack Bauer's dad, or Brenda on "Brothers and Sisters" -- ), I still think of them as their Six Feet Under characters (except Rainn Wilson, when he showed up as quirky Arthur on SFU, I just thought of him as young Dwight Schrute).

I never watched this show when it was on HBO. I didn't have the channel when the series first began, and I'm not one to start a show mid-way through (with the very notable exception of "Lost" -- which makes me a weirdo, but we knew that, right?). I was intrigued by it, and when I learned it would be shown on Bravo, I set my DVR.

Back when the show's run on HBO ended, I remembered hearing the buzz when the show ended because they had killed off a major character. Always a fan of spoilers, I went on HBO's website when I started watching the reruns, to read episode summaries so I could find out just who it was that found him/herself a product of the show's title. (Please not Nate. Please not Nate. No whammies. No whammies.) When I read that it was, indeed, Nate, it didn't ruin my appreciation for the show, it only enhanced it. I watched early-season episodes with that tragic knowledge, and was more emotionally connected to the family than ever before.

I have been slowly keeping up with my DVR with the hearty serving of three, hour-plus episodes that Bravo airs each Monday, but I knew from the previews that Nate's end was near.

I watched the episode precluding his death and I was a basket case. So I knew that the next one would be even worse. I prepared myself, but it took several days.

When Nate's final moments of life actually took place, I was ready. I was ready to cry and to feel the pain the entire family felt. And I was even able to laugh at the more light-hearted moments.

I have three more episodes to watch of this incredible series, including Nate's funeral, and I will have kleenex at the ready. And when it's over I will miss the Fishers. They feel like family to me. Which is a tribute to the show's writers, actors, and everyone involved in the show. It's a wonderful series.