PickleGate
Some of you may remember that a very kind co-worker brought me a jar of pickles and I was elated. Every afternoon I'd delve into our work fridge (which is small and just houses the lunch items of my 7-person department) and have one, maybe two, in a little bout of afternoon indulgence.
I was in the office over the weekend (yeah, it's that time again) and I decided to take a pickle break, but to my dismay, the pickle jar up and disappeared. It was gone. Gone!
Now I've heard that pregnant women can be absent minded, so I thought that there was a chance I'd left it somewhere. But after wracking my brain I couldn't remember doing such a thing. I always grabbed one out of the jar and then immediately put the jar back in the fridge, mostly so the garlic and dill aroma didn't travel too far in the department.
I was pretty much over it on Monday when I came in to the office, but one of my co-workers decided to ask Kindly Old Granny Admin if she knew anything about the pickle jar's disappearance.
Turns out, on Friday, while I was at lunch with three other co-workers, Bad Lady (of course!!!) went to KOGA and told her that the pickles had "been in there a long time" and "looked bad."
So KOGA threw them out.
Now, a few things are wrong with this scenario.
First, Bad Lady sits right next to me. Either she's really dense (OK, she is) or couldn't smell or see me eating a pickle every day. Not to mention, PICKLES DON'T GO BAD. They're pickled.
If the smell was bothering her or something she could have just said something to me. But I think that she purposely waited until I was gone to dispose of the jar. She's just shady enough to do something like that.
Anyhoo, KOGA felt so bad that she threw away my pickles that she went out and bought me a new jar. How cute is that? The new jar has a note taped to it that says "Please don't throw me away!"
One of my co-workers wanted to write "This means you, [Bad Lady]," on it, but I wouldn't let her.
I'll just make sure that I breathe pickle breath on her every time I indulge from now on.
Like a waterfall in slow motion, Part One
2 years ago
5 comments:
Whoa! I had almost the exact same thing happen to me! I had my pickles in the fridge, and one day they were gone, which put me on the warpath.
Turns out some (insert expletive) coworker had taken them out during lunch because they were all making sandwiches. And they all got eaten.
So then Kindly (not so old, not so granny) Admin bought me a new jar, wtih a note on it, that said, "Do not eat me!"
-- Teem
Holy crap! That's too weird.
Did you know that the smell from pickle juice is difficult to remover from a phone? Emperically tested and totally credible. I'd tidy up bad lady's phone with a lil pickle juice. Every time she is talking on it, she can remember her evil deed. Squirt a lil in her hand lotion too...just to add an exclaimation point!
Maybe you could use the pickles / Bad Lady combo like a garlic / Vampire combo. Although I'd discourage you from stringing pickles around your neck.
I'd also go for the "loud eater" method. Munching (open mouthed) on a pickle at my desk. Mmmmm..this is good. *lip smack*
Oh, and pickle juice in the phone is a good idea .. but you should also consider the eeeeensiest smidge of limburger cheese.
Not that I would know anything about doing stuff like that.
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