INAPPROPRIATE

Men: it is NEVER, NEVER ok to remark on a woman's weight, even when she is pregnant. I have found that a couple of men, business colleagues, have thought it was funny to say something to me along the lines of, "Wow, you're putting on weight!"

Obviously, they know I'm pregnant, but that is dangerous territory. You could as much as look at me the wrong way these days and I'd burst into tears.

Another man, upon seeing me for the first time in a while, gestured toward my pregnant stomach and said, "What's this?"

It's the result of a nine-day Cheesecake Factory bender. What do you THINK it is?

Unfunnier still: elevator cleaner guy (what is UP with this?) says to me today, as I get into the elevator, "You're chunking up!"

Meant to be a joke, but hella offensive. My response was, "Wow, just what every woman wants to hear." Then he said he was joking, but ... ew, dude.

It is also never appropriate to ask a stranger when the baby is due - this rule applies to men and women. Do you REALLY want to take a chance that there is, in fact, no baby, and you have just drawn attention to a woman's greatest insecurity? My general rule is to wait for the person to bring it up, and THEN comment.

Beware, the flu of swine

I hope I'm not being naive, but I am not concerned one whit about the swine flu or H1N1 virus or whatever we're calling it today.

Yes, I have a small child and perhaps if someone at his school contracted the virus, I'd be concerned. But right now, it's not something that is keeping me up at night.

However, there are certain people I work with who are consumed with fear about this particular illness. One went so far as to send an email to HR, begging them to make people stay home who exhibit ANY signs of illness. (Which I am sure she intends to use as leverage to stay home herself). Another infamous germaphobe at my office has some anxiety ab0ut the disease, as well, and when the day comes that she shows up wearing a surgical mask over her face, I will not blink.

I am glad that the powers that be seem to be taking the necessary precautions to prepare for the disease, sh0uld it intensify. Until that time comes, I will proceed as normal with my life - with maybe a slightly heightened sensitivity to hand-washing.