November Rain (was a good Guns 'n' Roses video)
I'm having a hard time believing that tomorrow is Nov. 1st. It is almost 70 degrees here in the county south of Cleveland. Quite a lovely day.

Ryan's songs are pretty good, some of them are very Smiths-esque. Not that there's anything wrong with that. At all. Favorite song so far is "Burning Photographs."

I'm wondering if my friend Amy passed the Bar. She was going to get the results today, and is in a self-imposed barricade at her apartment. I am sending all kinds of good thoughts her way. It seems like a very stressful, awful process that makes me even more glad than ever that I dropped out of law school. That shit was not for me.

Well, I must ready myself for the Halloween bash. Plus get something to eat, because the gig is at a winery, and unless they have cheese, I'm thinking the food selection is going to be piss poor.

Until tomorrow, my peeps.

Mental health day
I'm feeling wonderful today because I am not at work! I can't even tell you how much I needed this break. I was on such a short fuse, things that ordinarily don't bother me were starting to get to me.

So. Anyhow. Life is good. I'm streaming Ryan's new CD on my computer, I'm only on the first song and already I can tell I'm going to like it. It's very different from anything he's done before.

Costume shopping was kind of disappointing. I honestly don't understand why every adult woman's costume has to be the Sexy Something-or-Other. Like, I don't want to be a sexy nurse, I just want to be a regular old, bedpan-carrying nurse. I don't want to be a sexy vampire, just your average, every day vampire will do. Nor do I want to be the sexy schoolgirl, policewoman, or the sexy clown. The sexy cat costume would look ridiculous on me.

So anyway, my costume for tonight's festivities will be Girl Wearing Witch Hat. I know that's ultra-original, but I was not about to be the Sexy Something-or-Other.

My husband went all out and bought a Jango Fett (from Star Wars) mask. I don't know how he'll wear it and play guitar at the same time, but at least he got something. I wanted him to get this purple pimp hat and Bootsy Collins-style glasses but he didn't want to spend the money. Jango Fett was only 10 bucks.

And I guess that's cool, because we are low on funds. I personally have about 5 bucks and change in my checking account. How did this happen, I'm not sure. And another week til payday. Ouch.

And in other sports news...
Confidential to Green Tuna: both my parents went to That Other School Up North, and it is not going to be a pleasant weekend for either parent. In fact, I know not to even bother calling my mom on Saturdays anymore because she is ensconced in the game. And when the You of Em game is over, it also brings her much joy to watch other Big Ten teams, such as Ohio State, lose (which they rarely do, which pisses her off). My dad takes these things a little better, and fortunately, it is my dad whom I am going to dinner with Saturday night.

So although I am not really invested in college football either way, for the sake of my parents' happiness this weekend, I must root against the SparTunas.

Don't hold it against me.

News flash
He may have scored 25 points last night, but the Cavs still do, and always will, suck.

One more costume idea
A note to BB fans... I did see a PHoF in one of the stores I was in yesterday and briefly entertained the idea of being Erika, but who would get it besides me?

Photoshop Hell
I am in Photoshop Hell. I am working with a photo of two women holding various sports equipment, including, a very troublesome tennis racket. Because in order for me to use this photo against any background, I must remove the original background of the photo. YOU try to take the background out of every little nook and cranny of a tennis racket. It's not fun.

But nothing will ever compare to the time(s) I have had to take the background out of the photo of a shopping cart. That is truly Photoshop Hell. This must be one of the levels of hell in Dante's Inferno.

I enjoy working in Photoshop though, especially when it's just doing something mindless as taking the background away from a photo. It's kind of like cutting with scissors but on the computer screen.

Speaking of, I couldn't get through a day without posting about Bad Lady. She was given the task yesterday of adding flowers to a photo of a house. So she calls me and one other person over to her desk to ask if it looked good. I couldn't help it... as soon as I laid eyes on it I asked, "Do they live near a power plant?" She had put in some nucular (tm George W) pink hawaiian looking flowers in a glob in front of the house. I can't see how anyone with eyes could have thought it looked good. But Bad Lady did. And was surprised that we thought it didn't.

This morning, miraculously, she had put in some acceptable flowering shrubs and stuff that didn't look half bad. I'm pretty sure she hired someone to come in and do it for her. I'm waiting for someone to fess up that she slipped them a $50.

The costume hunt continues
Tonight my husband and I are going to go costume shopping for his gig on Friday. Apparently he is going to wear, as a costume, a cowboy hat. I asked if he was going to be Joe Millionaire II, but he said no. Just your average, ordinary cowboy. Maybe at the costume store we'll find something more creative for him to be.

Secret boyfriend
Just two more days until I can hear the new album by my secret boyfriend, Ryan Adams, (hey, my husband took a liking to Cat on Joe Millionaire 2 last night, so I am entitled to a secret boyfriend if I so choose) on his Internet site. And just 6 days until it's out in stores.

Phone speak
I don't know how it got to be an accepted form of ending conversation, but I cannot bring myself to say "buh-bye" while on the phone or leaving someone a voice mail. Is this a shortened form of "bye bye?" Every time I hear someone say it, it reminds me of David Spade. It just sounds ridiculous coming out of anyone's mouth.

Holy sketchiness
Note to self: burn clothing when you get home tonight.
I just went with Jonesarelli to possibly the sketchiest mall on the face of this earth. Our mission: to find Halloween costumes. We both came away empty-handed, but not before we visited the trashiest, sketchiest stores in the mall. That is to say, everything but the Gap and the candle store. Every store was more sketchy than the next. I truly feel dirty for having been there.

So my costume ideas are as follows:
1. Montecore the white tiger (don't know if white tiger costume exists)
2. Kelly Osbourne (would be easy; just go to Wet Seal for clothes and buy pink wig at Spencer's)
3. Foxy Cleopatra (afro wig and 70's clothes)

I need to find something for my husband's gig Friday night. I have a feeling that I'll be the only non-costumed one if I don't come up with anything.

We'll see. I have to think about this and do some more shopping around. Tonight a trip to the thrift store may be in order.

All hail LeBron, part 2

Tonight all Clevelanders will turn their eyes to the NBA premiere of the new It Man, who will wear Michael Jordan's #23. He's got a lot to live up to. Will he deliver? Will he make the blind see? The crippled walk? The lepers un-leperfied? We shall see.

Distruntled office worker part 5,429
We don't have our new systems yet but we have new monitors, keyboards, and mouses. (Hee, I sounded like Jessica Simpson for a second) And for some reason my speakers are no longer working, and there is no place for me to plug in my headphones (they used to plug in through my keyboard). This will not do, no, not at all. I already wrote off an angry e-mail to the IT department, I'm sure they are thrilled. But they don't know the extreme hardship I will face without headphones. I'll have to hear the Bad Lady's radio ALL day long, which I can only stand in small quantites, plus every personal conversation she has, plus all the extra office noise that sometimes I just need to shut out so I can retain my sanity.

Hopefully my morning will get better.

Ah... no sooner had those words left the keys of my shitty new keyboard then a helpful IT person appeared and gave me sound in my speakers. But still no headphones. Which is only temporary I guess until the new system is built. I can live with that I suppose.

Tabulations (Did I make that word up?)
Halloween sized Nestle crunch bars consumed today: 4
Advil taken: 2
Minutes left before I leave: 7
Minutes since the B.L. has been gone: 9
Inches of hair I am going to have cut off tonight: 1
Hours of television I plan to watch tonight: 3
Hours of actual work I did today: 6
Items crossed off my "to-do" list: 2
Days left until my "mental health" vacation day: 2

May he rest in peace.

She made a funny!
The bad lady and one of my friends are comparing moisturizers on some list they found on the Internet. So my friend sez to B.L., "This Philosophy 'Hope in a Jar' sounds nice." And B.L., bless her, said, "What I need is 'Beyond Hope!'"

Hee. Funny 'cuz it's true.

All hail LeBron
I just heard the Bad Lady tell Incompetent But Likeable, Computer-Illiterate Guy that her son (hereby known as The Golden Child) and his friends were at the new shopping super-mega-ultra mecca, a.k.a. Legacy Village over the weekend and that phenom LeBron James was there dining at one of the new fine establishments. So The Golden Child and his pals went home, got their basketballs, and went back to try and get LeBron's autograph. LeBron, upon exiting the restaurant, saw said boys and refused to give the John Hancock. Refused, I tell you! Refused. The nerve.

Well, as we all know, NO ONE denies the Golden Child anything his little heart fancies. So the Bad Lady was quite enraged at Mr. James.

And I say? Well done, LeBron. You've brought me a little morsel of joy. Carry on, fine fellow, carry on.

Kitty capers
This morning, Domino dragged a large garbage bag full of clothes that I am going to donate to Goodwill, from the spare bedroom and into the living room, where he proceeded to tear holes in it. But how a 12 pound cat has the strength to drag a 30-or 40 pound bag of clothes that distance is beyond me.

Most of the time I just think those things are funny, but I did not enjoy it last night, just as I was drifting off to sleep, when Dom jumped up on the bed, walked around at the foot of the bed, and then plopped himself down partially on top of my leg and started to give himself a bath. That also pumps up the base temperature under the covers to about 2,500 degrees farenheit.

That's why I'm going to show you this picture, of Dom looking like a sissy boy:

Tonight!
I have discovered what my next guilty pleasure is going to be on Tuesday nights. A new show is premiering tonight on MTV called "Rich Girls." It follows the lives of two teenagers, one of whom is Tommy Hilfiger's daughter (I think) and some other girl with rich parents, and tries to draw the parallel between their lives and the lives of other kids their age. Let's all say it together: yeah right. Also premiering tonight is the new season of 24, so we'll get to see Kim get kidnapped, rescued, and kidnapped again, only to fall madly in love with the kidnapper before he is shot to death by the cops. Can't wait.

Mail bag

Squishy writes in with this question: Just wondering, are you celebrating Halloween a week early where you live? Usually it's not until the 31st, LOL

Thanks for the question, Squish. And hello!

I am wondering the same thing. As far as I know, Halloween is supposed to be the 31st. That's what it says on right here on my calendar. But lately, these bureaucratic imbeciles that we have elected into public office have decided that Trick or Treating should take place on a Saturday night, so they have bypassed the 31st altogether and just made it any old Saturday they choose. It makes no sense to me either. Back in my day, we went trick or treating on Halloween night, whether it was a Tuesday, Thursday, or Sunday. And we liked it. We went around, got candy, raised hell, t.p.ed some houses, good old clean fun. Nowadays they have to regulate things. All these damn perverts and social deviants out there, we must protect our children from them! Or something like that

Got a question? I got answers. Let's all work together to try and make sense of it all!

Wrapping up
I decided, after a brief reminder from Tuna and from Entertainment Tonight, to watch "The Next Joe Millionaire: The Legend of Curly's Gold." And was extra motivated after my husband remarked that he thought the girls were "smokin'." So we watched maybe 20 minutes of that and then I decided to come up and blog, IM my friend to see how her first day of work went, and see what else was going on in the cyber world.

My friend and I are IM'ing about how crazy it was at Legacy Village this past weekend, and how there might be a narrow window of opportunity in a few weeks before the Christmas shopping season gets full blown, in which we could eat at Cheesecake Factory. My mom said she tried to go to the new Cleveland area shopping megalopolis, and said she couldn't get near the place.

Well, I'm off once again to find a new way to entertain myself. Perhaps I'll check in at Hamster Time...