Friday, February 27

Status Report
Eye: still twitching frequently.
Incompetent but Likeable: on the verge of going postal, and no one can figure out why. Although he did have an outburst at my desk about a certain management person being a "hillbilly" so I assume that his disgruntled postal worker behavior has something to do with that.
Bad Lady Crisis du Jour: Finding a pair of Ugg boots on e-Bay for her daughter (ha!!!)

Just thought you'd like to know.
I'm sorry if you're one of these people that I'm about to rip on, but as I was just out on the road, I saw two instances of something that really, really irks me.

Vanity plates. Not all vanity plates, mind you, because I've seen some clever ones that give me a chuckle, such as
"R U L8 2", just some very specific ones. The kind that announce what kind of car you're driving. As if it's not obvious to those on the road what kind of car it is. Today's examples. On a Mustang: "MY 99 PNY". Ha ha. Then on one of those Mini Cooper things: "MY GOCRT".

Or "MY BMR", which I've also seen. "MY VETTE" is another one. Yes, it's yours. Unless you're driving a stolen vehicle.

I just think they're stupid. Anyone seen any good ones?

Sign #2528 that I may be losing my mind
Maybe I shouldn't even admit this, because it makes my music cred go right down the tubes (allright, I already admitted that I like Hall and Oates, so I guess it can't get much worse than that) but if I hear the new Britney Spears song "Toxic" on the radio, I probably won't change the station.
Warning: this post may contain adult content. Parental discretion is advised.
So this is how it's going to be now. The backlash of Nipplegate has created a nationwide panic. Suddenly, this country has morals. Say what?

It began with Janet and Justin being banished from all award show appearances. The nation shall not be subjected to seeing their faces on television ever again, as the reminder of Janet's exposed flesh is too much for some of us to take.

Now, media giant, Clear Channel, is seeking to clean up the content being broadcast on its kajillions of stations. Howard Stern has been pulled off all Clear Channel stations which carry his syndicated show.

We're seeing tons more warnings that "adult content" will be shown on our favorite shows. And I feel that this is just the beginning.

It's quite a strange time, no? I am of the opinion that if you don't like it, change the channel. If you're so worried about seeing objectionable material on television, don't watch. Play a board game instead. Read a book.

Believe me, I'm shocked by a lot of what is shown on television these days. And if I had small children, I would definitely not allow them to watch some of what's on. But I want that choice. If I want to watch Tony Soprano beat the shit out of someone, I'm going to. And I'm going to like it. If you don't, watch Everybody Loves Raymond.

Thursday, February 26

Sue Hawk is going to go Sue Hawk next week on Survivor! I can barely wait!

And can someone please tell me what the "adult content" was? Unless it had something to do with Richard's nakedness during the challenge. I know there was some exchange, but I didn't really understand what was said and/or done. Maybe I don't want to know.

Maybe it was just that we saw Kathy's nipples through her tank top. This is CBS, after all.

Also, in case you didn't notice, I just figured out how to change colors.
The twitch
It's already almost 4? How in the hell did that happen?
My eye has been twitching all day. I don't know if it's visible or not, but it makes me feel freaky. Like I'm the Yeti or something. I don't know. But it's really bugging me.

Who's getting the big boot on A.S.S.? I don't know, but I'm about to find out... Could it be? The biggest ASS of all could be showing us his naked ass for the last time tonight.

Wednesday, February 25

And now a little work-related rant...
This rant is brought to you by Quizno's Subs... see post below
This is possibly the busiest time of the year for me. (Have I said that before? If I have, I'll say it probably two or three times again before it's all said and done.)

However, Incompetent but Likeable is not at all busy. And because of this, he is working on projects for the spring, some of which I will be involved in the design work. So instead of waiting until the appropriate time to discuss it with me, he wants to talk to me about it RIGHT NOW. In the midst of the chaos.

For instance, an ad which is due March 19. Talk to me about it in March. I'm not even going to put it on my "to-do" list until then.

A rinky-dink newsletter that is for May/June and won't print until the end of April. Talk to me about it in April.

Until then, talk to the hand.
Mmm, Toasty

This article explains what the hell these crazy creatures are (and gives me a cool new word to use -- "sprongmonkey") and what they are doing singing the praises of that other sub shop.

Tuesday, February 24

Snack drawer
If you work in an office, it's likely that you have one. Go to anyone's desk and you're sure to find a snack drawer. Here's what's in mine right now:

- nearly depleted box of Bigelow "Lemon Lift" tea
- nearly depleted bag of chocolatey Riesen candies
- box of Keebler Town House crackers
- nearly depleted box of Triscuit crackers
- obligatory package of Toast Chee crackers
- gargantuan box of Willy Wonka Gobstopper candy
- grape Tootsie Roll pop

What's in your snack drawer?
Phat Tuesday
Don't forget to eat your paczki today! A paczki, if you have to ask, is pronounced "pooonchkee" and is basically the largest, most dense, sticky filled donut you've ever seen. Legend has it that bakeries, in preparation for the Lenten season, would get rid of all of their fattening stuff by creating the gargantuan paczki and sell them to those about to give up sweets for the 40-day Christian period of giving stuff up.

Also in vogue today is flashing your breasts, if you have them, and if you are not being filmed by CBS. Certain types of flashing will net you a pair of cheap plastic beads that you can wear around your neck as a bold statement to everyone that says, "Hey, I flashed my boobies, you got a problem wit'dat?"

I ate my paczki on Sunday, when my husband's family put on an amazing display of calorie chowing. I could barely choke down one. My husband dutifully ate two, but my sister-in-law put the hurt on three.

I don't have any plans thus far to flash for beads. The day is young, though.
Danger Pilates
Last night I invented a new form of Pilates that I'm hoping will make me millions. It's known as "Danger Pilates." The basic premise is, you buy a set of Pilates DVDs, do the exercises as instructed, but have a cat attacking you while you do them. I think this trend will catch on and become the next big craze in the fitness world. And remember, you heard about it here first with me.

Here's how it works. One move, called the "Roll Up," requires you to lay flat, arms above your head, and slowly bring yourself up into a sitting position with your arms. While sitting, your cat must plant himself underneath you so that when you go to lay back down, the cat becomes enraged and bites your hair. This will burn additional calories and build lean muscle!

The next move, the real name of which escapes me, so I'll just call it the "Rolly Ball" move, requires you to hug your knees together and rock back and forth. Again, this move is enhanced if your cat runs behind you and attempts to bite you every time you rock back, giving you the sculpted body you've always wanted!

A third move requires you to lay on your back, arms flat at your sides, one knee bent, the other leg straight in the air. You pick up your head and lift your arms up and down really fast. The role of the cat in this move is to go underneath your bent leg and attempt to claw and/or bite your hand as you are lifting.

If you are interested in the "Danger Pilates" workout system, please send me $100,000 plus $4.95 shipping and handling and you, too, can have the sculpted, toned body you've been dreaming about!

Monday, February 23

Bar time
Tomorrow I will be sending good thoughts down to Columbus, where my friend Amy is having a go at the Ohio Bar Exam. I'm sure she'll be having a blast with it. But I hope it goes well for her. Lord knows I dropped out of law school for a reason.
Parting is such sweet sorrow
I watched the finale of my favorite Sunday evening television program last night.
I am embarrassed to say that it made me a little teary-eyed (this seems to be happening a lot more often).
No, not Sex and the City. I've never seen a single episode of that show.
I'm talking about The Surreal Life.
Pass it on

Let it be known that a vote for Nader is a vote for Bush.
No, really, I don't
For reasons unbeknownst, Bad Lady's radio is extra loud this morning. So right now, I'm being treated to:

If you like Pina Colada
Getting caught in the rain
If you're not into yoga
If you have half a brain

It's too early in the morning for this shit. Really, it's never a good time for the Pina Colada song.

Sunday, February 22

Down to the wire
As of tomorrow, there are two weeks until our company's meeting where all the stuff I've been working on will be seen by about 1200 people. I'm starting to dream about it. I should have gone in to the office yesterday but I woke up and saw snow, so decided to give myself a much-needed break.

If I am not blogging with my usual vim and vigor, it's because I am in panic mode.

However, the blog is an excellent way to blow off steam. So maybe I'll be here more than usual.

Friday, February 20

It'll be our secret
So I'm watching "The O.C." the other night, and at the end of the episode, they played a Ryan Adams song (well, actually it was Ryan covering the Oasis tune "Wonderwall" -- did someone do it before that?)

So anyway, that means:
1. Ryan has sold out.
2. I just admitted that I watch "The O.C."
Body conscious
I work with a lot of skinny people. I, personally, am not what you would call skinny. I'm not fat -- I'm somewhere in the middle. But when I work day in and day out with tall, thin women who can wear calf-high boots and short skirts and cute dresses, it kind of makes me conscious about my weight.

So to quell my sorrows, I ate a blueberry bagel with raspberry cream cheese. Nectar of the gods.
Spring training
This is a happy day here in Cleveland (and in a lot of other cold weather cities) because it is the first day of spring training for baseball. It's a sure sign that warmer weather is right around the corner (and today in Cleveland, it's supposed to reach the 50's -- already it was 45 this morning!).

True Indians fans know when the equipment truck leaves Cleveland for Winter Haven, Florida, when pitchers and catchers report (today), when the rest of the team reports, when the first full-squad workout is, etc. And these are joyous moments for we who follow the Indians through thick and thin. Spring training represents the potential of a winning season. For any team, the dream of making the playoffs, even the World Series, is still alive.

So why, Plain Dealer sports section, why must you destroy all of our hopes right off the bat (excuse the pun)?

This morning, I grab the sports page, pumped that finally there will be baseball articles for me to read. And what does our Indians beat reporter tell us?

That if we're not careful, we're going to suck worse than Detroit.

The Tigers had the worst record in baseball last year. But this off-season, the Tigers have acquired a lot of top-notch players (OK, well, Pudge Rodriguez and some other guys who, when compared to the likes of Jeter & Co. aren't exactly household names). And the Indians, well, haven't. Does the name Ronnie Belliard ring a bell? Didn't think so.

So the whole spin of this article was that the Indians better watch out because Detroit has a better team and the Indians don't, and since the Indians sucked last year, it follows that they will suck this year as well.

So much for the optimism of spring training. But thanks for giving me at least three minutes this morning where I thought we had a chance.
All about ASS
Boston Rob is the kind of guy who's loud, obnoxious, an asshole, a slimeball, a total jerkoff... but at the end of the night he's still your friend. That's why I like him. He is aware that he is all of the above, and he has a good sense of humor. He's strong and a hard worker. And right now, I have my eye on him as potential winner of All-Star. And the win would be well-deserved. (And as we all know with my Mole predictions, this could be Boston Rob's kiss of death...)

Whereas Rob C. was a poor sport. He wanted to be Boston Rob, he really did. He even tried to align himself with Boston Rob. But Rob C. never showed his team anything (at least that we saw) that would make him an asset to the team. He only "what if"ed himself in front of the camera. Yes, Rob C., we all know you're smart. But not smart enough to figure out that you needed to do more to keep yourself afloat. During Tribal Council you showed us all that you need to mature a little bit.

Last week we had to endure the darkest moments of our hero, Rupert, but this week he redeemed himself. He admitted that his shelter sucked, and they moved on and rebuilt it. And Saboga seems to be a pretty united group. For now.

If I were able to choose the father of my children, other than my husband, Jeff Probst would definitely make the short list of contenders. His snippy Jiffy remarks make me smile every week. I don't know how he does it.

With that being said, I have no clues, no predictions for next week. I think I'd rather keep my mouth shut on the topic.

Thursday, February 19

So what
Let's see... so what is there to blog about today? I'm still reeling over the big Mole reveal. It seems like maybe I dreamed it and it will be Dennis, after all. No? OK. I'm over it.

Also hard to recover from was the horrible showing by the American Idol contestants this week. Actually I thought Lisa was pretty decent, but she didn't make it. I hope next week's crop of performers fares a little better. For their sake and for all of our ears' sake.

No clue who's going home on ASS tonight... might be time to check the spoiler boards. 'Cuz I'm a spoiler whore, thank you very much.

Wednesday, February 18

So, basically, whenever I make a prediction for the Mole, pretty much eliminate that person from your list.

Angie? I honestly didn't see that one coming. And Rodman won?

Weird, man, just weird. Was I watching the same show everyone else was?
I am nearing the end of a large project that I have steadily been working on since early December. It's a huge multimedia presentation, set to music (very lame music, I might add) that features fun and wacky photos of our top agents. In fact, I could possibly finish it today. But you know what? For some reason, I'm finding every excuse not to work on it. I've read blogs, written blogs, I've tidied up my cubie, I've eaten 15 Starbursts, shot the shit with Incompetent But Likeable, played an online game (gasp!) and stared vacantly at a random point on the wall. And I complain about being busy.
Not that I'm bitter
Here's a little glimpse into the lives of myself and my coworkers right now:
I'm so busy that I'm coming in on Saturdays from now until our big company meeting (March 8) and staying late every night and also had to waste an entire day yesterday at the stupid photo shoot. Which, by the way, was so pointless for me, that I get agitated even thinking about it. At least I get compensated for milage and toll booth charges.

Jonesy is putting in 10 to 12 hour days trying to get all of her work done, since she has taken on a new role in the department.

My boss has been arriving at the office at 4 a.m., which is sick behavior, but he is buried in work, as well.

Bad Lady left the office on Monday at 3 because her daughter (a senior in college) left her cell phone charger at home while she was home visiting for President's Day weekend. She also spent the bulk of Monday on the phone with various cell phone stores in her daughter's college town trying to see how much it would cost to rent a charger for a couple of days.

I don't get it, either.
Off the heezy
Here's a link which will educate you as to the hip slang terms these kids are using nowadays.

Tuesday, February 17

Things observed while over the state line:
1. Traffic laws are different. For instance, in PA, one must turn on one's headlights while driving through a construction zone. In Ohio, not the case. Also, trucks do not have to drive 55 while everyone else goes 65. In Ohio, trucks have to go 55. A law of which I am a huge fan. I despise trucks, particularly those which speed past me going 75 when I am going 70. They should be going slower so everyone can get around them. But that's just me.

2. Everyone who lives in Pittsburgh, while writing their address, abbreviates Pittsburgh as "PGH". Just strikes me as odd.
Out-of-office: auto reply
The Sketch Factor will not be seen in its regular time slot, as it is in Pittsburgh today.
We will return to our regularly scheduled programming tomorrow.

Monday, February 16

Parting shot
And for those of you who are at home, catching up on Days of Our Lives, or foraging for merchandise at one of the myriad of sales in honor of our forefathers and someone named Milliard Fillmore, I have this to say to you:

In the immortal words of Ophelia, I like cake. Cake, good. And for the past two days in a row, I've had cake. Yesterday, some kind of Italian multi-layered pudding filled cake. Today, leftover chocolate cake from a co-worker's child's birthday party. Good eatin's.

So that means a significant portion of my diet in the past two days has been sugar, sugar and more sugar. I wish those Pilates dvd's would get here so I can attempt to de-sugarize myself.
Damn Yanks
So the Yankees are going to have Jeter and A-Rod. The Indians have an aging Omar Vizquel, and, uh, what's his name. You know. That guy.

Professional baseball is about as balanced as a breakfast of Cheetos and a Quarter Pounder with Cheese.

Saturday, February 14

Happy Valentine's Day to everyone. Even if you don't have a special someone to share it with, I hope it's a good day all the same. Me? I'm spending V-Day with a close personal friend... my cubicle at work. Tonight? Nothing special. We are going to go to our usual hangout, the Winking Lizard, and that's about it.

Tomorrow, a surprise birthday party for my grandmother. She's 84 (I think) and in better shape physically than I am (which I admit isn't saying much). I am in charge of bringing cheese and crackers. This is because my dad knows that I can't cook but am capable of operating a cheese slicer. And opening a package of Triscuits.

Coming up this week: as crunch time rapidly approaches, I will be working diligently, then heading to Pittsboig on Tuesday to fulfill my all-important duty as "photography director."

And finally we'll know who the Mole is. *coughRODMANcough*

Friday, February 13

Is nothing sacred?
Another headline-grabbing celebrity split: this time our childhood friends, Barbie and Ken. The collective "HUH?" that echoed through the U.S. last night as this story actually made the evening news has me wondering if nothing in this world is sacred anymore.

Sure, we all knew Ken was gay and Barbie was his beard, but why mess with a good thing? Barbie and Ken go together like Raggedy Ann and Raggedy Andy. Like Fred and Wilma. Like Nick and Jessica.

How many of us had the Barbie wedding when we were little? I know I did. Or how many times have you referred to a blonde girl/guy as "Barbie and Ken"?

Who truly understands Mattel's motives for driving a rift into the relationship that so many of us have counted on as being stable and forever. With Valentine's Day looming, one can only wonder if counseling could have saved this iconic relationship.

My question is: who gets the convertible?

ETA: This article claims there is a younger, hipper man in the picture. But his name is Blaine, so you know he's gay, too.
For the second week in a row, Survivor had me in tears. Jenna's decision to leave the game was obviously the right one. What I thought was interesting was that the only person who did not weigh in on Jenna's decision to leave (prior to going to the Immunity Challenge) was Richard Hatch. I'm wondering if Dicque either said nothing to avoid sound like an ass, or said something insensitive that was cut from the show. Because we all know that he is in the game to win, and if Jenna left the tribe it might jeopardize his position (he is as good as gone the first chance they get, anyhow).

Also on the topic of Dicque... the worst job anyone involved with the show could have: Richard's underwater videographer.

WHY does he have to get naked all the time? Challenge time? Naked. Jump in the water? Naked. A little "alone time" on the beach? Naked. Maybe he's trying to get in the Guiness Book of World Records for the most nude appearances on televison ever.

And then Omarosa didn't get fired... oh, the injustice in this world...

Thursday, February 12

I think it's completely bogus that we didn't get the big Mole reveal last night. I'm almost 100% sure it's Rodman now. I could almost care less, except I've watched every episode, so I'm invested in knowing who the winner is, otherwise, I would just watch "Newlyweds" and be done with it.

Wednesday, February 11

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, Kat has reached a verdict.
In the issue of Campbell's Soup at Hand, Creamy Chicken flavor, I, Kat, find the taste to be...

Health update
Today I'm feeling much better. Still a little stuffed up, and I don't have much of a voice, but it's a vast improvement from spending the past few days in the Valley of the Undead.
She bangs

In case anyone missed William Hung's stellar performance of Ricky Martin's "She Bangs" on American Idol, you can view it here.

He also has a fan site, here, which includes the SNL parody that Jimmy Fallon did of him.
Rudyism #464
On the way in to work this morning I heard a radio interview with Rudy Boesch, the voted-off ASS. He was in fine form, as usual. The DJ said, "You've been married almost 50 years. With Valentine's Day coming up, how would you say you've made love last all these years?" Rudy replied, "Well, I joined the Navy and was out of the house a lot."

Then when asking about Survivor, the DJ slipped and said that "Ruben" had really stood by him during the show. Rudy agreed, that "Ruben" was a good man. Didn't correct him, just went along with the mistake.

They don't make guys like him anymore, that's for sure.

Tuesday, February 10

When will it end?
After a good night's sleep (finally!!!) I woke up this morning feeling much better. But after being here two hours, I feel like I am ready to die. So I just may be scooting out of work, again. And getting even MORE behind. I'll see how long I can make it. But I'm blowing my nose every two minutes. Seriously. I'm surprised Bad Lady hasn't commented.
Banner watch
Some of you lucky readers just may be able to see my new ad banners, which are for the EXACT videos I bought off TV. I never said the name of them. This makes me wonder, does the Google Banner God actually READ these posts or does s/he scan for key words? Either way, I'm frightened.

Anyway, it beats the "Proud Army Wife" banner that was there before. What was that about? I know of no one in the army. No one remotely close to me, anyhow.
Molly update
Molly is OK. She didn't get stuck in the walls. I called my husband just to make sure, and he assured me that she was right there with him.

Monday, February 9

In the pipeline
This morning while I was getting ready for work, I noticed that Dom was poking around in our spare bedroom, where there is a panel that opens up, exposing the water pipes in the adjacent bathroom. The panel had come totally open, and there was a big enough gap where a cat could definitely fit, and plummet into the basement. So I closed the panel, shooed Dom away, and went back to getting ready. Of course, that was like asking Dom to open it back up again. Sure enough he pried it open with his little kitty paw. So I stacked a big bucket of cat litter in front of it and that took care of business.

But now I'm thinking... I didn't see Molly this morning.

Which isn't unusual, as she is notoriously reclusive.

I'm a bit concerned. What if she was inside the wall and I blocked her in? Would she survive the plunge into the basement? Or will she find her way into the bowels of the house?

If she goes M.I.A. this evening, this will have to be investigated.

Campbell's "Soup at Hand." Good or gross?
I can't decide.
I've had the Creamy Chicken and the Chicken & Stars flavors. I think I had the potato once but that was definitely gross. The jury is still out on these two.
Still sick
Ny-Quil let me down. I took it on Saturday night and was up the entire night. I couldn't shut my brain down. Then last night I didn't take anything and was up the entire night, as well. It was horrible. And I can't miss work, there's too much for me to do right now. So, here I am.

Bear with me if I seem a little grumpy.
Home shopping
So I bought something off a TV infomercial yesterday. It's a set of DVDs on how to do Pilates. They had me convinced that this would help me build muscle and lose weight. The spokesperson was Daisy Fuentes and it also featured testimonials from Minnie Driver, Danny Glover, some soap star and a former Miss U.S.A. It looks pretty easy and I can do it at home, so we'll see. It was only $50. Plus it has a money back guarantee! I can expect my DVDs to arrive in 2-4 weeks. Then I'll let you know when I start looking like a supermodel.

Saturday, February 7

Ny-Quil is a girl's best friend
I am, indeed, sick. I took yesterday afternoon off and spent the rest of the day under a blanket, sniffling profusely and eating lots of soup and saltines. Echinacea, Ricola, Ny-Quil. If I could only have one thing to help me through a cold, it would have to be Ny-Quil. That stuff packs a punch. Although it only lasted until about 4 a.m., when I woke up after having some really weird dream about Beyonce and Jay-Z. Ny-Quil gives me weird dreams, too, I've noticed.

It's a good thing that I got some sleep, because here I am, at work on a Saturday. It's nice, actually, I got a lot done already. No one else is here. At least, no one that I can detect.

Oh -- and I finally saw Survivor. I have to admit -- I got teary-eyed when Rupert was talking about how Rudy was a hero and how it was even hard for Rupert to do this, so he couldn't imagine how Rudy was doing it. And when Rupert's voice cracked... man... I lost it.

The roads were horrible on my way in. I hope they get that taken care of before my trek home.

I hope everyone is having a great weekend. Be careful out there!

Friday, February 6

The show
My husband's gig went well last night. The crowd wasn't huge, probably due to the ice storm that was swirling all around us, but still a good group. The bar was pretty cool, except they were playing really strange movies on all the tv's in the bar. First it was "Rock 'n' Roll High School" featuring the Ramones. The second was a movie starring Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. No idea what it was. Just odd.

As we were leaving (after midnight may I add -- *looks around for sympathy*) this long-haired guy sitting at the bar stopped my husband and was like, "What was that fucked up shit you were playing there at the end?" (Owen had closed out the set by doing a guitar solo and he had his guitar next to the amp so he had some feedback going). Owen responded, "I don't know, I was just making it up as I went along." The dude at the bar said, "You should make it ALL up. It sounded good."

Also, there was a Rupert doppleganger spotted carrying equipment into the bar. I think he was in the last band that played (which was WAY past our bedtimes). He had the tie-dye shirt and everything.

The aftereffects of the gig: I am feeling under the weather. I'm not sure if this is the onset of a cold, or if it's just because I haven't been getting enough sleep this week, combined with staying out late last night and the exposure to all the cigarette smoke. I'm all stuffed up. I just may go home early today.

But what does it matter, I'll be back here tomorrow! *again, looks around for sympathy*
I lasted until 8:51 a.m. until I went on to see who got voted out. I think I could have gone longer but I had an e-mail from a friend this morning who said she was upset after the vote out so I knew it was either Rupert, Rudy, or Ethan. We'll miss you, soldier.

Thursday, February 5

Don't ruin it for me (let me ruin it for myself)
Tonight I will be unable to watch Survivor. I'm taping it, however, I don't think I'll be able to watch it until I get home from work on Friday night. So I am going to try and remain spoiler-free tomorrow... doubt I'll last past 9:30, though.

Instead of watching Survivor I'll be watching Owen's band play somewhere in Akron, not sure where exactly... so it will be a late night for us.

And tomorrow is my last boss-free day! It's been so nice...
One more thing about the boob incident
Bear (or shall I say, "bare" -- ha!) with me while I comment one more time on the Super Bowl Boob Incident. In case you've forgotten, Janet Jackson's breast was exposed on national television, causing shock and awe unlike anything seen since Howard Dean blew out our eardrums with his primal post-caucus scream. Who is the true villain in this "wardrobe malfunction?" Let's just suspend disbelief for a moment and believe that this was actually an accident. Then, it should follow that it was, in fact, Justin Timberlake who is to blame for all the jokes, stupid parody songs and wasted column inches that have come in the wake of Sunday's boob on the tube. Yet whenever I have heard the media responding negatively to Sunday's event, it is always Janet who takes the brunt of the backlash. But why? Did she rip off her own shirt? No. Did we actually see her -- gasp -- nipple? No.

Can we assume that it is because she is a member of the already much maligned Jackson family that she is the one with the huge target painted on her back? Or is it because she is a minority? Or a woman?

Any way you cut it, it's just wrong. Is Justin staying home from the Grammys this weekend? No. Janet is. Is it because CBS' sensors are worried that while onstage her breast might take on a life of its own and peek out of her dress, once again sending scores of Americans into catatonic stupor? Who knows.

If you ask me, a whole lot of ado about a boob. Yes, I agree that it had no place at a halftime show where children were likely to have seen it, but now that it's over, let's accept that it happened, and move on. Don't we have more important things to worry about?

You know, like Martha Stewart?

Wednesday, February 4

Alert, alert
This just in: another ice storm is approaching. Please take appropriate action. If ice were a terrorist, this would be an orange alert. Maybe even a red alert.

I can't worry about it right now. Almost time for Celebrity Mole.

ETA: What the hell?!? Is the Mole Dennis Rodman or something?
Words I like

Words I dislike
Don't you just hate it when you get a hair in your mouth, and you try and get it out, but the hair successfully travels back into your gullet and won't go down your throat? Yeah. That just happened to me.
Today is Incompetent But Likeable's birthday. I was a good girl and remembered to get a card, plus the obligatory "from everyone" card that we all sign. Someone else brought a cake. Usually my boss would take him out to lunch, but my boss is in Aruba. And surprisingly has only called once since he's been gone -- an impressive feat for a man who calls the office from his cell phone when he is three floors down.

Other people celebrating birthdays today (I can hear IBL announcing them to someone): Alice Cooper, the guy who played Alfalfa on the Little Rascals, Ice-T, Dan Quayle. And the guy who discovered Pluto.

Tuesday, February 3

I'm back with a duo-fold purpose. First, because I am on the computer at home, a rarity, given my husband's penchant for downloading music off I-Tunes and playing "Mafia" in the evenings (hey, I'm around a computer all day, whereas he isn't). And second, because I want to pimp both T-Diddy's website and myself. On this site,, you can find a bunch of cool stuff, including tv reviews by yours truly.

Tomorrow? I should hopefully be more entertaining. I got a lot of work done today -- still not enough -- but progress was definitely made.

Until then, my friends...
So what
I'm posting just for the sake of posting today. I don't have anything to write about, no one else's boob popped out today, no one dangled a baby, no one was arrested with a hooker, no one got voted off, no one has annoyed me. I've got mucho trabajo today so I expect that my usual bonanza of posts will not be in effect. But you'll live, right?

Monday, February 2

Groundhog Day
Well, no surprise here. Six more weeks of winter, according to Punxatawny Phil. Still no word on what Buckeye Chuck, Ohio's groundhog, had to say on the matter. When ol' Charles reports in with his findings, I'll let you know. Of course Punxy is the final word, but if Chuck predicted an early spring, I'd go along with it.
Another Super Blunder
Aside from Janet's boobies, I'd also like to address another major faux pas that occurred during the Super Bore. At the beginning, they cryogenically unfroze Aerosmith for yet another pre-game performance. *yawn* But while you may think that was offensive enough, the true "oops" to me was that they had a segment of Aerosmith in the space shuttle, supposedly arriving from outer space. ON THE ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF THE SHUTTLE CRASH. In Texas, near where the wreckage was found. Then they did a sappy salute to the Columbia's crew, afterward. I just thought the Aerosmith segment lacked class. But apparently, this was not the chief concern of Super Bore organizers.
All-Star Survivor
18 All-Stars and no one can start a fire. Except the ultra-cocky (literally and figuratively) Richard Hatch, who evilly admits to the camera that he is purposely not helping start the fire, but he could start it, like, in two seconds, if he were only to try. Sure, Dicque. Whatever. And thanks for getting naked 16 times. That really added to my viewing experience.

The Rupert-Rudy alliance excites me, because those are two of my favorite contestants, EVER. Best Rudy quote of last night? Probst asks him if it's safe for Sue to be drinking the water. "Yep," he says. "Is that because she's on the other team?" Jeff asks him. "Yep," Rudy says.

And also, the spoiler I read on A.S.S.? WRONG. It claimed that Ethan would be the first to go when it was actually his compadre, Tina. Close, but no cigar. It casts some doubt on this spoiler's Final Two, which had me kind of scratching my head, anyway.

Alicia did wag her finger at Boston Rob, too. That was kind of funny.

As most of my other Survivor-watching compadres ended their ASS-related posts, I too will end mine by saying: GO RUPERT!

oh, p.s.: Babyfishel is back after a long period of being M.I.A. from her blog. And to make up for an entire month of non-blogging activity, she wrote a super duper extra long bunch of posts.
Super Bore
Wow, that was a boring game last night. Even the commericals were ho-hum. And apparently, I missed the most controversial moment of the night: when Justin Timberlake ripped off Janet Jackson's shirt, exposing her breast. I was watching at my in-laws' house and the shirt rip-offery occurred during one of the pre-set times that you were supposed to change the channel to CNN in protest of CBS' censoring of the anti-Bush commercial. Supposedly, the commercial was to be seen on CNN at 8:10 and 8:35. Well, when we changed the channel, we saw commercials, but not the commercial, and also we watched several minutes of a segment on a girl's gymnastics team training for the Olympics.

I am not a huge football fan, and when my husband looked at me during the third quarter and said, "Do you want to get going?" I leaped off the couch. Then I had to sit and watch the end of the game anyway, so I would know when to tune in to All-Star Survivor... which is the topic of my next post...