Thursday, June 28

Hello, post office? I'd like to mail in this post.
BB8 cast out today... woot. My pre-show hate is festering already!

Oh. here's a meme that I stole from myspace yet again...

1. Boxers or briefs?
on a dude, boxers.

2. Five star hotel or a tent in the woods?
not much of a camper, so, hotel.

3. If you were famous, what would you be famous for?
I always wanted to be a rock star, and a writer, but writers aren't that famous unless they're Steven King, so, let's go, rock star.

4. I'd like to hang out with:
some of my favorite musicians... Pete Yorn, Josh Rouse, etc.

5. I want my last meal to be:
Wow. A bag of Shearers potato chips (the ones in the black bag that used to be called "Grandpa's Choice"), a steak with baked potato, a big-ass piece of cheesecake from Cheesecake Factory.

6. Milk chocolate, dark chocolate, or white chocolate?
Dark. Accept no substitutions.

7. I've always wanted:
A horse.

8. For my first wish, I wish:
a happy life for my son.

9. The best things in life are:

10. Where was sexy before Justin Timberlake brought it back?
Outer Mongolia

11. Do you typically bring da noise, da funk, or da jell-o salad?
Da Funk, of course!

12. Who would you want to be with on a desert island?
should I give the p.c. answer of "my husband", or should I go for the more interesting and scandalous... how about Jeff Probst and fifteen other castaways?

13. If you were a candy bar, which would you be?
Heath bar

14. No matter how badly I needed the money, I'd never:
kill anyone

15. Take whatever you want. Just don't take my:

16. The older I get, the more I:
wish I hadn't slacked off so much in college

17. What's the first frivolous thing you'll buy when you're rich and famous?
a personal trainer

18. Ignorance is:
something I can barely stomach

19. I think they should legalize:
the wacky tabacky

20. Wal-Mart is:
a place I refuse to patronize.

21. I'd be totally screwed without:
my computer skills and writing skills

22. House in the country or apartment in the city?
house in the country -- I could get a horse!

23. What's the grossest thing you've ever eaten?
if I try and think about it I'll probably barf

24. If you had to get a tattoo, what would it be?
my son's name and birthdate

25. How old were you the last time you trick-or-treated?
high school -- freshman or sophomore?

26. Beauty or Brains?
brains. there's no plastic surgery to fix stupid.

27. If Mickey is a mouse and Pluto is a pup, what the hell is Goofy?
a more highly evolved being, we can't possibly understand

28. My parents should've known I'd be trouble when I:
knew how to spell C-A-T and D-O-G from my crib

29. Where would you like to go on vacation?
someplace warm, sandy, quiet

30. In retrospect, do you wish you had studied harder or had more fun?
both -- I wish I had been more outgoing in college and been more active in groups. I also wish I hadn't wasted my entire senior year goofing off.

31. I read 'Playboy' for the:
I'm a straight girl so I don't read or appreciate Playboy.

32. What was the best advice you ever received?
from a colleague on how to handle myself professionaly in various situations

33. What would your custom license plate be?

33. Mary Kate or Ashley?

34. If you were to discover that the roof was on fire, what would you do?
Let the mo'fo' burn.

35. Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?
Who me? Yes you. Couldn't be. Then who?

36. Paris or Nicole?
To see ritually tortured? Paris.

37. Jessica Alba or Jessica Simpson?
Albacore. Which is tuna by the way. Which is a fish.

38. If I had a time machine, I'd:
go back... to the FUTURE!!!!

39. How many times have you broken your cell phone?
zero so far.

40. If you were coated in jelly, what flavor would you prefer?
k-y? too obvious?

41. What was the best movie this year?
I don't get out much.

44. One in the hand is worth two in the:
George W.

45. I'd like to smack:
oh jeez. so many choices. several co-workers. paris. britney.

46. I will never tell anyone:
anything I think will hurt their feelings. I'm kind of a pansy that way.

47. When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
rock star!

48. What's your favorite candy?
candy cigarettes -- even though they can't be called that anymore. now they're just "candy sticks"

49. What advice would you give your younger self?
Don't do drugs. Stay in school.

50. Fame or Fortune?
Fame! I'm gonna live forever, I'm going to learn how to fly. High.

51. You can see my place, but don't look in my:
basement (that's where the bodies are buried)

52. My parents would kill me if I came home with:
a piercing/tattoo

53. Would you rather own a dog named Growler or a parrot named Captain?
Yarr! Captain, me mateys!

54. When they write my obituary, I hope they mention:
my stunning beauty

55. Truth or Dare?
truth. I hate embarrassing myself.

56. When the world ends, I will be:
waiting to see how it all winds up.

Wednesday, June 27

Last evening, there was a plan. And the plan was to go out after dinner and get custard. Jackpot! One of my favorite things to do in the summertime. It was our first custard outing of the season.

We're walking out of the house and Doodle sees his ball. His eyes light up and he runs to our back patio to get it. We follow. As the three of us reach the patio, we hear this high-pitched "meeeEEEEEEEEEeeeeew? meeew? mew?"

My first thought was that Molly had gotten out of the house somehow, because she makes the same kind of pathetic mewing sounds.

But it wasn't. It was Walter.

This little, dark grey tabby kitty was hanging out on our patio. I'm always a little wary of strange animals, especially ones I haven't seen before, because who knows their story -- are they strays? Do they have diseases? Fleas? Are they going to bite my child?

But Walter -- Walter wasn't like that. Walter walked right up to my husband to be petted. When my husband stopped petting him, he walked right up to Doodle. My OWN cats don't even do that! When he realized Doodle was not going to pet him, but rather, doink him repeatedly with a big blue bouncy ball, he came over to me.

He was such a sweetheart -- I immediately looked at my husband with puppy dog eyes. "We already have two cats," he said. I made the pouty face.

We hung around and petted Walter for a little while longer, and then there was this thing we had to do. The CUSTARD! I didn't want to leave Walter there. I wondered if he belonged to a neighbor, or if he was a stray, runaway, whatever. He has no collar, he doesn't look to be spayed (yes, I checked, thank you very much -- well, not so much checked, as noticed, that he still had his testicles). He does have a freshly-scabbed war wound behind one of his ears, and the tip of that ear looks like it got either bitten off or bent. But he didn't appear to be hungry, and he definitely wasn't afraid of people, or children.

As we started to get Doodle into his car seat, Walter stretched himself out in our driveway, rolled onto his back with his legs in the air, and then chilled out. We made our break and went to get custard.

I was hoping that he'd still be there when we got home. Like he had chosen to stay with us. You know how sometimes, kitties pick their owners, not the other way around?

But he wasn't.

Throughout the evening before the sun set, I kept looking out the windows to see if maybe I could see Walter lounging in the bushes, or in the grass, but I saw no further sign of him.

And I had picked a name for him and everything.

Friday, June 22

Remember a few weeks ago when I said that the Bratz movie was the worst idea I'd heard since Spice World?
I was wrong.

Tuesday, June 19

The 80's meme
Mailing it in yet again... one of these days I will post something "real"...

Did you listen to New Kids on the Block?
Shamefully, I did.

Did you ever own a slap bracelet?
I think I was too old when these came out

The Babysitter's Club or Sweet Valley High?
Sweet Valley High all the way.

Salute Your Shorts or Hey Dude?
Again, I was a little too old for this but I do remember "Salute Your Shorts."

Kids Incorporated or The Mickey Mouse Club?
neither -- again, too old

Did you want Dylan to end up w/ Brenda or Kelly?

Who was ALF?
a furry alien from the planet Melmac

Do you remember the show Dinosaurs?

Kimmie Gibler or Urkel?
Ugh... neither. Both were uber annoying

Blossom or Clarissa Explains It All?

Did you have a crush on JTT?
Obviously not because I have no clue who that is

Bobby Brown or Tevin Campbell?
Bobby B

Step By Step or Full House?

Did you listen to Milli Vanilli?
Mmm hmm. I still have the cd that I drag out to make people laugh

Mr. Rogers or Reading Rainbow?
Mr. Rogers. Again, Reading Rainbow came on after I was too "grown up" to watch it.

Did you own a Glo Worm?
No but my friend did and I had jealousy issues

Paula Abdul: better now or then?
The "Cold Hearted" video was the bomb back in 8th grade when I listened to that kind of music

Wild 'n' Crazy Kids or Double Dare?
Hell yeah, Double Dare.

Remember Legends of the Hidden Temple?

The Mighty Ducks or The Little Giants?
Again, never saw either of these.

Did you watch Saved By The Bell?
heck yeah, in fact there was a huge dinnertime conversation with my in-laws recently and the family is now divided into Those Who Watched and Those Who Didn't

Who was hotter: Zack or Slater?
Mark-Paul Gosselaar; Mario Lopez was a chach

Camp Nowhere or House Arrest?

Did you own a pair of Reebok Pumps?
Embarrassingly I think I did... for 7th or 8th grade basketball

Carebears or Smurfs?
Smurfs. I thought Care Bears were lame.

Rainbow Brite or Strawberry Shortcake?
Strawberry Shortcake, Huckleberry Pie!

Did you own a pair of Jelly Shoes?
In fuschia and clear.

Did you own a Trapper Keeper?
Hell yes. It had horses on it *heart*

Atari or Nintendo?
Nintendo -- all my friends came to my house to play Super Mario and Zelda

Wednesday, June 13

Mailing it in... a meme post
I stole this from a MySpace bulletin so some of the questions relate to myspace. Oh well.

1. If I were a doll, the accessories packaged with me would be:
lip balm, a laptop and a toddler with toddler accessories

2. I have an irrational fear of:
balloons, birds and clowns

3. What type of food do you eat at your grandparents' house?
when I was younger, my grandma would always make fresh french fries in the deep fryer for my cousin and I. They were awesome.

4. How much did you weigh when you were born?
6 lbs, same as my son did

5. Do you stalk anyone on Myspace?
"stalk" is such a strong word...

6. I am too old to:
watch "The Real World" on MTV

7. I find the thought of childbirth:
a semi-pleasant memory and a hope for the future

8. My feet are:
gross. Like everyone's feet are.

9. My preferred style of jeans is:
boot cut

10. I know how to cook:
very few things. Luckily my husband does 99% of the cooking.

11. Men should always:
hold the door for me

12. Women should never:
wear tube tops

13. What child-related smell do you not like?
Desitin, Baby Magic

14. What sea creature scares you?

15. What object have you broken most recently?
My watch band

16. Name one of the Spice Girls?
I think I can do them all... Scary, Baby, Posh, Sporty, oh shit. There's one more. I guess I can do 4/5.

17. What was the last thing to make you cry?
When Charlie was supposed to die on "lost" and left hte note for Claire, it got me a little bit choked up, but no actual tears flowed.

18 I would like to be in an advertisement for?:
something like Diet Pepsi where I could get a lifetime supply

19. What are the stems of wine glasses for?
to curl your pinky around

20. My favorite shoes are:
black semi-dressy flip flops

21. Can you use chopsticks?
not very well

22. Do you prefer beaches or forests?

24. Have you ever drank alcohol straight from the bottle?

25. When's the last time you chose a bath over a shower?
when I was pregnant I took a bubble bath

26. Do you have a job?

27. Are you friends with your last ex:

28. What are you wearing?
khaki skirt and green top

29. Have you ever crawled through a window?

30. Name one thing that is always on your mind?
I've got my mind on my money and my money on my mind

31. Full House or Brady Bunch?
Brady Bunch.

32. Relationships or one night stands?

33. Who was the last person that made you cry?
I don't know...

34. Last time you kissed someone?
This morning

35. Name five things you did today.
Woke up, got out of bed, dragged a comb across my head, found my way downstairs and drank a cup, and looking up, I noticed I was late...

36. What color is your bedroom floor?
neutral beige carpet

37. What are you doing tomorrow?
see #35

38. Favorite Old School TV show:
Family Ties -- I had a huge crush on Michael J. Fox

39. If you were a frozen treat, what would you be?
cookie puss

40. What food describes your current mood?

Monday, June 11

The reaction I (and probably everyone else) had when watching a certain series finale last night
Oh my God, it's just going to end.
Wait, who's that guy at the counter? He's going to kill Tony!
Why are they spending so much time on Meadow parking the car?
Oh no, gang bangers. It will be a random act of violence! That's lame...

(Credits roll)

Wednesday, June 6

Don't eat the green brownies
First, there was the guy in Michigan.
Not to be outdone, an Ohioan from my neck of the woods decided to follow suit.
Now maybe I'm crazy, but isn't the LAST phone call you want to make, after eating some funky brownies, to the cops?
Off the Lot
I started tivoing the latest Mark Burnett joint, On the Lot, because I figured, a) it's a Mark Burnett joint; b) Spielberg; c) aspiring filmmakers. What's not to like!

The first two episodes, which were more of the semifinals, were very enjoyable. The field was narrowed to eighteen. Then the show's format went to something similar to RockStar: INXS/Supernova, where each person gets to show their work, the judges comment, and then America votes.

The contestants are obviously very talented (most of them anyway) and I love everything about this show, except:
1. Carrie Fisher.
2. The hostess and her Seacrest-esque dialogue.
3. Carrie Fisher's voice.
4. Gary Marshall's comments about how much he loves female directors. Did someone accuse him of being a misogynist or something?
5. The critiquing style of Carrie Fisher. Apparently, one of the most important things in a film is a beginning, middle and end. At least, to her. And she must have made that comment, well, eighteen times!
6. The fact that I really can't stand the sound of Princess Leia's voice, her overexaggerated hand gestures, or the fact that she epitomizes the sterotype of an artsy, drama club kid who's all grown up. It's devastating because I used to want to BE Princess Leia, and now... eeesh.
7. The guy who made the movie about a "nerd" who obviously was supposed to be mentally disabled, and then acted shocked when people thought that.
8. The guy who says it's his last chance to make it because he has two kids. And no further explanation. His wife must be telling him to "get a real job." But somehow this is supposed to evoke sympathy.

It's a good thing I have a DVR, otherwise this show would be off my radar. I can still watch the films, fast forward through C.F., and see who gets voted off, in about 15 minutes!