Like a waterfall in slow motion, Part One
3 years ago
Thursday, November 6
Here is why I enjoy Ryan Adams:
For lyrics like this:
Cotton candy and a rotten mouth
You know you're so fucked up
You know I couldn't help but have it for you
And everybody knows the way I walk
And knows the way I talk
And knows the way I feel about you
It's all a bunch of shit
And there's nothing to do around here
It's totally fucked up
I'm totally fucked up
Wish you were here
- from his new CD, Rock 'n' Roll, "Wish You Were Here"
For lyrics like this:
Cotton candy and a rotten mouth
You know you're so fucked up
You know I couldn't help but have it for you
And everybody knows the way I walk
And knows the way I talk
And knows the way I feel about you
It's all a bunch of shit
And there's nothing to do around here
It's totally fucked up
I'm totally fucked up
Wish you were here
- from his new CD, Rock 'n' Roll, "Wish You Were Here"
I learned something new today already
From my e-subscription to "Queer Eye" updates...
Q: HOW DO YOU SPELL THAT WORD, YOU KNOW, THE ONE THAT KYAN AND CARSON USE A LOT?
Tjuzs. That's how Carson told us to spell it, we swear. Tjuzs, Tjuzing, Tjuzed.
That would be pronounced "shoozh", but now I know its true spelling. I think. How the hell did they get "shoozh" from that?!?!?
From my e-subscription to "Queer Eye" updates...
Q: HOW DO YOU SPELL THAT WORD, YOU KNOW, THE ONE THAT KYAN AND CARSON USE A LOT?
Tjuzs. That's how Carson told us to spell it, we swear. Tjuzs, Tjuzing, Tjuzed.
That would be pronounced "shoozh", but now I know its true spelling. I think. How the hell did they get "shoozh" from that?!?!?
Da Game
Highlights of the Cavs game:
1. Rapper Jay-Z was in da house.
2. So were local sports stars (Ellis Burks of the Indians; Maurice Clarett, suspended Ohio State running back)
3. So were some other Very Important People, of whom I was not one.
4. I had binoculars, so I could scan the crowd for famous people.
Lowlights of the Cavs game:
1. The Cavs. They suck, although they didn't get totally blown out.
2. Lebron. Did not live up to the hype.
3. Moondog, the Cavs' new mascot, was really bad. He's a golden retriever on steroids. And that's not a good thing.
Highlights of the Cavs game:
1. Rapper Jay-Z was in da house.
2. So were local sports stars (Ellis Burks of the Indians; Maurice Clarett, suspended Ohio State running back)
3. So were some other Very Important People, of whom I was not one.
4. I had binoculars, so I could scan the crowd for famous people.
Lowlights of the Cavs game:
1. The Cavs. They suck, although they didn't get totally blown out.
2. Lebron. Did not live up to the hype.
3. Moondog, the Cavs' new mascot, was really bad. He's a golden retriever on steroids. And that's not a good thing.
Wednesday, November 5
Gripe o' the day
To the client who called me, like, one hour after they called and left me a message: there's a reason I didn't call you back. I'M BUSY. I will call you when I'm not busy. What she called to tell me, she could have left the info on my voice mail. And would have saved us both five minutes of our lives that we'll never get back.
Hee
Bad Lady's computer just shut off and she lost something she was working on. It's only funny when it happens to someone like her.
Tip-off
The tickets have arrived via Fed Ex Man. Hubby says they look legit. All set for Lebron Mania.
A good read
Dooce is particularly amusing today. I can relate... in my household, I am the one who is always cold and needing 800 blankets on the bed, while my husband could sleep on a glacier and probably be comfortable temperature-wise.
To the client who called me, like, one hour after they called and left me a message: there's a reason I didn't call you back. I'M BUSY. I will call you when I'm not busy. What she called to tell me, she could have left the info on my voice mail. And would have saved us both five minutes of our lives that we'll never get back.
Hee
Bad Lady's computer just shut off and she lost something she was working on. It's only funny when it happens to someone like her.
Tip-off
The tickets have arrived via Fed Ex Man. Hubby says they look legit. All set for Lebron Mania.
A good read
Dooce is particularly amusing today. I can relate... in my household, I am the one who is always cold and needing 800 blankets on the bed, while my husband could sleep on a glacier and probably be comfortable temperature-wise.
What's on tap
Today... I have two newly-purchased Ryan Adams CDs (two were released yesterday -- he's a bit too prolific for his own good) to get me through the Wednesday of Rapid Temperature Drop. I have a change of clothes with me, because after work, it is 99% certain, I am going to the Cavs home opener tonight, so I will see the living legend that is Lebron, up (not too) close and (totally not) personal. My husband scored the tix off EBay, they were only $16 apiece, which worries me because I think the going rate for a ticket for tonight's game is $183,392,400 kajillion. I'm not sure our seats actually are in Gund Arena. We'll see. Also, the tickets haven't arrived yet. They tried to deliver them on Monday, but no one was home and they needed a frickin' signature. Husband's day off is today so they will hopefully deliver them on time. I won't believe the tickets are real until we are through the turnstile.
Changing topics...
We went on a little shopping excursion last night, first to Best Buy, where I picked up Ryan CD #1. Ryan CD #2 was already sold out, which I found a bit odd. Who knew he had so many fans that he could sell out a Best Buy in an obscure area of northeastern Ohio? So then, after putzing around Best Buy for a while and having to drag the drooling husband away from the $8000 flat screen tvs, we went to Borders in search of Ryan CD #2.
But going to Borders for me is a dangerous thing. I feel like the commercial where the woman tells the man he has to control himself as they are walking into the store, and as soon as they are through the doors, he takes off running like a madman. I am the mad(woman) in Borders. Want to buy everything! Shiny, pretty books. Fiction. Non fiction. Two autobiographies of Lebron James (already!!! he's 18 and hasn't even played a week in the NBA!!!). Pretty boxes of stationery. Pretty calendars. Pretty Beanie Babies. Pretty magazines.
Fortunately, Ryan CD #2 was my only purchase. I briefly entertained the notion of buying The DaVinci Code but I think my mom has it and will give it to me if I ask. Also briefly entertained the notion of buying Dude, Where's My Country but maybe will try to find it used on Amazon. After all, we be poor right now.
Then I waited in the car listening to Ryan CD #1 while the husband ran in to Wal-Mart to look for a cheap Cavs shirt to wear to tonight's game.
We got home in time to see 24, which kind of bored me up until the end. I hate Spawn. Even now that she has a more useful purpose in the overall plot. Two seasons of Kim-hate are not easily forgiven or forgotten.
Kitty went spastic last night during 24 and tried to jump into the bookshelf and broke a really nice beveled glass picture frame that we got for a wedding gift. I was peeved at kitty. Sometimes he just flips his lid and does things he wouldn't ordinarily do.
I ended the night with a Real World/Rich Girls Meh Fest. Nothing to blog about.
And that brings me... here. It's about 70 outside, with an expected drop of about 30 degrees today. Fan-freakin-tastic!
Go Cavs.
Today... I have two newly-purchased Ryan Adams CDs (two were released yesterday -- he's a bit too prolific for his own good) to get me through the Wednesday of Rapid Temperature Drop. I have a change of clothes with me, because after work, it is 99% certain, I am going to the Cavs home opener tonight, so I will see the living legend that is Lebron, up (not too) close and (totally not) personal. My husband scored the tix off EBay, they were only $16 apiece, which worries me because I think the going rate for a ticket for tonight's game is $183,392,400 kajillion. I'm not sure our seats actually are in Gund Arena. We'll see. Also, the tickets haven't arrived yet. They tried to deliver them on Monday, but no one was home and they needed a frickin' signature. Husband's day off is today so they will hopefully deliver them on time. I won't believe the tickets are real until we are through the turnstile.
Changing topics...
We went on a little shopping excursion last night, first to Best Buy, where I picked up Ryan CD #1. Ryan CD #2 was already sold out, which I found a bit odd. Who knew he had so many fans that he could sell out a Best Buy in an obscure area of northeastern Ohio? So then, after putzing around Best Buy for a while and having to drag the drooling husband away from the $8000 flat screen tvs, we went to Borders in search of Ryan CD #2.
But going to Borders for me is a dangerous thing. I feel like the commercial where the woman tells the man he has to control himself as they are walking into the store, and as soon as they are through the doors, he takes off running like a madman. I am the mad(woman) in Borders. Want to buy everything! Shiny, pretty books. Fiction. Non fiction. Two autobiographies of Lebron James (already!!! he's 18 and hasn't even played a week in the NBA!!!). Pretty boxes of stationery. Pretty calendars. Pretty Beanie Babies. Pretty magazines.
Fortunately, Ryan CD #2 was my only purchase. I briefly entertained the notion of buying The DaVinci Code but I think my mom has it and will give it to me if I ask. Also briefly entertained the notion of buying Dude, Where's My Country but maybe will try to find it used on Amazon. After all, we be poor right now.
Then I waited in the car listening to Ryan CD #1 while the husband ran in to Wal-Mart to look for a cheap Cavs shirt to wear to tonight's game.
We got home in time to see 24, which kind of bored me up until the end. I hate Spawn. Even now that she has a more useful purpose in the overall plot. Two seasons of Kim-hate are not easily forgiven or forgotten.
Kitty went spastic last night during 24 and tried to jump into the bookshelf and broke a really nice beveled glass picture frame that we got for a wedding gift. I was peeved at kitty. Sometimes he just flips his lid and does things he wouldn't ordinarily do.
I ended the night with a Real World/Rich Girls Meh Fest. Nothing to blog about.
And that brings me... here. It's about 70 outside, with an expected drop of about 30 degrees today. Fan-freakin-tastic!
Go Cavs.
Tuesday, November 4
Having the big fun
Let me tell you what fun it is to lay out a desk calendar. You know, one of those big-ass calendar things that you get from your vendors or business contacts.
It did give me an excuse not to respond to Bad Lady, who wanted my opinion on some postcards she is working on. She asked me if they looked "different," and I said, "as opposed to...? What you usually do?" Because I swear to God, every single thing she does looks exactly the same. She uses two fonts, interchangably, and her graphics usually consist of three or four stock photos arranged in a collage on the page. So this was no different. Right now I just honestly don't have the energy to come up with something constructive, so I told her I didn't have time to critique it because I'm working on a deadline project. Which is true. But a copout at the same time.
Let me tell you what fun it is to lay out a desk calendar. You know, one of those big-ass calendar things that you get from your vendors or business contacts.
It did give me an excuse not to respond to Bad Lady, who wanted my opinion on some postcards she is working on. She asked me if they looked "different," and I said, "as opposed to...? What you usually do?" Because I swear to God, every single thing she does looks exactly the same. She uses two fonts, interchangably, and her graphics usually consist of three or four stock photos arranged in a collage on the page. So this was no different. Right now I just honestly don't have the energy to come up with something constructive, so I told her I didn't have time to critique it because I'm working on a deadline project. Which is true. But a copout at the same time.
Monday, November 3
Weather
I've heard that it's gorgeous outside. I wouldn't know, I don't see daylight until April.
That's OK, I'd rather be inside laying out a newsletter about home improvement tips than outside soaking up the last few nice days before the snow comes and buries me in a sealed chamber of depression. Thanks for your concern, though. Really.
I've switched to listening to Josh Rouse. I have a thing for male singer-songwriters. Apparently.
More bitching about this newsletter, then: I do the layout for this newsletter every other month. Incompetent But Likeable, Computer-Illiterate Guy writes the stories. I can be certain that in one of the stories, he will use the word "debris." Sometimes on more than one occasion. I think there was a story once about organization, and it had no less than seven useages of the word debris.
It's kind of a funny word. I don't mind the word itself, but it's just one of those things that annoys me because I look for it and then when I find it, I feel somewhat justified in my annoyance. Whatever.
I've heard that it's gorgeous outside. I wouldn't know, I don't see daylight until April.
That's OK, I'd rather be inside laying out a newsletter about home improvement tips than outside soaking up the last few nice days before the snow comes and buries me in a sealed chamber of depression. Thanks for your concern, though. Really.
I've switched to listening to Josh Rouse. I have a thing for male singer-songwriters. Apparently.
More bitching about this newsletter, then: I do the layout for this newsletter every other month. Incompetent But Likeable, Computer-Illiterate Guy writes the stories. I can be certain that in one of the stories, he will use the word "debris." Sometimes on more than one occasion. I think there was a story once about organization, and it had no less than seven useages of the word debris.
It's kind of a funny word. I don't mind the word itself, but it's just one of those things that annoys me because I look for it and then when I find it, I feel somewhat justified in my annoyance. Whatever.
Reading material
I just started reading an interesting book this weekend, Running With Scissors. It is the supposedly true story about the author (whose name escapes me right now) and his fucked up childhood.
I'm also trying to read a book called Making Money Freelance Writing. We'll see if I'm motivated enough to follow its advice.
Damn you, Blogger
Now my banner ad is for sexy halloween costumes. Thank you very much.
I just started reading an interesting book this weekend, Running With Scissors. It is the supposedly true story about the author (whose name escapes me right now) and his fucked up childhood.
I'm also trying to read a book called Making Money Freelance Writing. We'll see if I'm motivated enough to follow its advice.
Damn you, Blogger
Now my banner ad is for sexy halloween costumes. Thank you very much.
Sunday, November 2
For those keeping score at home:
The leaves kicked our asses again. We had to go out and rake the entire yard, back to front, and it was as if we hadn't been out there last week whatsoever.
Heard it through the grapevine
Along with the daunting task of raking the leaves, my husband tackled the difficult chore of trimming back our grapevines. We just bought the house in June, and the grapevines were overgrown when we moved in. The grapes got some sort of vine rot or something from all the rain, so they were completely worthless except as a breeding ground for mosquitoes.
While my husband was trimming the vines back, one of our neighbors came out and told us the story behind the vines. They were over 20 years old. When the grape arbor was built, the man who lived in our neighbors house built them, but unbeknownst to him, he built them just past his property line, into what is now our yard. So the person who lived in our house back then came out and thanked the man for building the grape arbor on his property.
We met our other neighbors for the first time today. Peg, and I forget the husband's name. Whoops. No one is called Peg anymore. I realize it's a nickname for Margaret; but still, who goes by that name these days that's under the age of 60? I'm sure there are a few, I just don't know any. It's one of those old person names like Agnes that maybe after the Brittany, Morgan, Madison trend dies down, will come back into style.
Anyhoo.
They live next door and this has been the first sighting of them since we've lived in the house. They are retirees who spent the summer away from home. As is the case with most of the people who live around us. It's a bunch of older, retired folks who can afford to have summer homes, or winter homes. Whereas we? Can't.
The leaves kicked our asses again. We had to go out and rake the entire yard, back to front, and it was as if we hadn't been out there last week whatsoever.
Heard it through the grapevine
Along with the daunting task of raking the leaves, my husband tackled the difficult chore of trimming back our grapevines. We just bought the house in June, and the grapevines were overgrown when we moved in. The grapes got some sort of vine rot or something from all the rain, so they were completely worthless except as a breeding ground for mosquitoes.
While my husband was trimming the vines back, one of our neighbors came out and told us the story behind the vines. They were over 20 years old. When the grape arbor was built, the man who lived in our neighbors house built them, but unbeknownst to him, he built them just past his property line, into what is now our yard. So the person who lived in our house back then came out and thanked the man for building the grape arbor on his property.
We met our other neighbors for the first time today. Peg, and I forget the husband's name. Whoops. No one is called Peg anymore. I realize it's a nickname for Margaret; but still, who goes by that name these days that's under the age of 60? I'm sure there are a few, I just don't know any. It's one of those old person names like Agnes that maybe after the Brittany, Morgan, Madison trend dies down, will come back into style.
Anyhoo.
They live next door and this has been the first sighting of them since we've lived in the house. They are retirees who spent the summer away from home. As is the case with most of the people who live around us. It's a bunch of older, retired folks who can afford to have summer homes, or winter homes. Whereas we? Can't.
Saturday, November 1
Lessons learned today
Under any circumstances, even if it looks like the most delicious thing in the world, DO NOT eat onion loaf.
If cat bites your arm, pull it away. You will not win in a battle of the wills. Cat is like pirhana and will not let go no matter what, and in fact, will bite harder the longer you don't move your arm.
Under any circumstances, even if it looks like the most delicious thing in the world, DO NOT eat onion loaf.
If cat bites your arm, pull it away. You will not win in a battle of the wills. Cat is like pirhana and will not let go no matter what, and in fact, will bite harder the longer you don't move your arm.
"You know it's bad when you weird out the guy in the chicken suit."
-my quote of the night
The gig went well. They were asked back, they sold some cd's, got some names to add to the mailing list, and sounded great.
As for the costumes, I went as Girl Without a Costume, as the witch hat didn't quite fit on my head without making me look like I'd been let out of the mental institution for the evening. Which was fine. There were plenty of costumeless people there. And there were plenty of costumed folks, as well, including the aforementioned Guy in Chicken Suit.
My husband, to my surprise, got an Elvis wig and sunglasses and so had that on the entire night.
The gig was in the Middle of Freakin' Nowhere. Now I know that may seem like a redundant statement to some, who would count Ohio as a whole as the Middle of Freakin' Nowhere. However, this place was even more so. Let's call it the Asshole of the Middle of Freakin' Nowhere. That would be a more accurate depiction of its relation to the sticks.
I am not a fan of country roads. I prefer main roads or freeway, hands down, as a method of getting where you need to go. If it's on a country road, I dont really need to go there. And on Halloween, I'm really not a fan of country roads. Especially when, after I've remarked that there are probably serial killers lurking in the huge cornfields to our left and right, a sketchy looking guy on a four wheeler emerges and stares at us as we pass him in the dark. That's the kind of stuff I don't want to see on Halloween, thank you very much.
Or ever.
-my quote of the night
The gig went well. They were asked back, they sold some cd's, got some names to add to the mailing list, and sounded great.
As for the costumes, I went as Girl Without a Costume, as the witch hat didn't quite fit on my head without making me look like I'd been let out of the mental institution for the evening. Which was fine. There were plenty of costumeless people there. And there were plenty of costumed folks, as well, including the aforementioned Guy in Chicken Suit.
My husband, to my surprise, got an Elvis wig and sunglasses and so had that on the entire night.
The gig was in the Middle of Freakin' Nowhere. Now I know that may seem like a redundant statement to some, who would count Ohio as a whole as the Middle of Freakin' Nowhere. However, this place was even more so. Let's call it the Asshole of the Middle of Freakin' Nowhere. That would be a more accurate depiction of its relation to the sticks.
I am not a fan of country roads. I prefer main roads or freeway, hands down, as a method of getting where you need to go. If it's on a country road, I dont really need to go there. And on Halloween, I'm really not a fan of country roads. Especially when, after I've remarked that there are probably serial killers lurking in the huge cornfields to our left and right, a sketchy looking guy on a four wheeler emerges and stares at us as we pass him in the dark. That's the kind of stuff I don't want to see on Halloween, thank you very much.
Or ever.
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