My ranking of the Wiggles characters in order from least tolerable to still not tolerable but more tolerable than the previous

Jeff
Murray
Dorothy the Dinosaur
Henry the Octopus
That pirate in Captain Feathersword's crew who has the wine corks hanging from his hat who has facial tics
Wags the Dog
Greg
Captain Feathersword
The rest of the pirates
Anthony

It's been a while
Since I posted about Bad Lady. She and I are getting along much better these days, but she still grates on my every last nerve. So she hasn't had much to do, and has been asking me for work. I've been giving her minor stuff that I know she can't eff up too bad.

She just called over to me and said, "So you know Sandy* whose business card you just had me do? She said she wants 'more options.' I don't DO 'more options.'"

"Dude, what ELSE do you have to do?" I asked. Maybe I didn't say dude. But I do say dude sometimes. I shouldn't.

"Stuff." Her witty retort.

"*exasperated sigh*"

Strange conditions
Date: August 20, 2007
Time: 12:08 p.m.
Current temperature: 60 degrees Farenheit
Current weather: Monsoon-like conditions

Likelihood I will not get wet at Pete/Dave concert tonight: zero

Who'da thunk?

Mystery Pic

Going through some old photos. I came across this one... made me laugh.


What's going on in this pic? Take a closer look...

Stormy weather
We've had rain on and off all week and last evening, we had a pretty nasty storm. Around 6:30, the power went out.

Try explaining to a 2-year-old why you cannot oblige his command for "lights on," or why the compelling episode of "Blue's Clues" has suddenly vanished off the TV.

We were without power for 45 minutes. But I swear it was more like 45 years.

Paranoid. Must. Shop.
Instead of the usual physical issues that go along with "that time of the month" for most women, I come down with mental issues. For instance, I always get an extreme paranoia about the other girls I work with -- that they are talking about me behind my back, that I'm being scrutinized at my job, etc.

Today is that day.

Add the fact that Doodle threw the most pathetic and heartwrenching tantrum this morning when I left him (read: abandoned) (read: I'm a horrible mom) at day care, and I've become a total train wreck.

My remedy? Go shoe shopping at lunch.

Unfortunately nothing struck my fancy, but somehow $60 worth of Bath and Body Works ended up coming back to work with me. I have no idea how that happened. I remember nothing.

Lolcats
I made my first lolcat pic... I ish ashamed for myself. Someone needs to give me some work to do.

Lucinda (a.k.a. "Unks")
We have really nice neighborhood cats.

You may remember my post about Walter, the kitty who stole my heart a few weeks ago. I am sorry to say that Walter has not made a return visit.

However, over the past week, another kitty has been sighted in our yard -- a smaller, female tortie who I have dubbed Lucinda. She likes to hang out by our non-grape grape arbor in the backyard. I saw her a few nights ago and went out to see if she was friendly. She mewed and approached me for some lovin'. Then she went back about her business of chillin' at the grapeless arbor.

Last evening after dinner I took Doodle outside, despite the nearly unbearable humidity, and Lucinda materialized and took a distant post to observe us.

"Unks!" shouted Doodle, for this is what he calls Uncle Dom, and also Aunt Peepers. "No, that's not Unks, it's another kitty," I told him. "Hi Unks," Doodle said.

Lucinda timidly approached us, and then rubbed on both me and Doodle for some attention. After she had her fill, she playfully flopped down in the grass. "Unks sleeping," Doodle told me, and he proceeded to also lay in the grass.

She hung around for the remainder of the time we were outside, until I finally decided it was time to go in and take a bath and get ready for bed. "Bye Unks!" Doodle said.

I find it very interesting, and odd, that two cats who are total strangers to Doodle and to my family have paid that child more attention than the two who live with him every day. You know, Unks and Unks.

Parking: $9
Admission ticket to park: $20
Confidence boost: Priceless

If you have any body or confidence issues whatsoever, I have a cure for you. When you look in the mirror and don't like what you see, or if you're feeling miserable about your life in general, it's time to take a field trip. Get a friend, preferably one with a great sense of humor. Drive to your local amusement park. Make a day of it, or just purchase a starlight admission -- most parks discount the fare after 5 p.m.

This worked for me this weekend. My husband and I decided to visit Geauga Lake, an amusement park close to where we live. It's a pretty decent park, but it's no Cedar Point.

Before we even purchased our admission tickets, I thanked my husband for taking me. I felt like Miss America walking into the park. It was an eye-opening experience, to say the least. I saw people in clothes several sizes to small, things bulging out of places from which I did not know things could bulge, people with fewer teeth than my son, bathing suits that creeped and crawled into folds of skin.

Once inside the park, we enjoyed ourselves, despite coming off each roller coaster with a feeling of "we're definitely too old for this." The night before, we had gone on a bike ride, after recently having our bixes fixed. I haven't been on a bike in at least 5 years, maybe more, and it showed. When I got off the bike, I could barely walk. My tailbone in particular was bothering me. So riding roller coasters the next day? Not a big help. The old wooden coasters tossed us around and my poor petuttie was aching. The Big Dipper, which is Ohio's oldest coaster at the ripe old age of 82, was a killer. Both my husband and I have battle scars from that ride. Mine is a huge, grape jelly-colored bruise on my hipbone. Seriously, I have never had a bruise this color. I'm not sure that I'll be able to reproduce after the jostling my insides got. Sorry, Doodle.

We also escaped peril by mere minutes. We were in line for the Double Loop, another one of the older coasters, and they had loaded the car ahead of us. We were next in line to go. Without warning or apparent reason, the ride operators, most of which were not U.S. natives, by the way, shut the ride down, citing mechanical failure, and apologized for the inconvenience. I bolted away from that ride faster than you can say class action lawsuit.

After about 2 1/2 hours, we had had enough. We rode everything we wanted to ride (Double Loop and a second closed-down coaster notwithstanding), we saw a little slice of Americana, and we felt good about ourselves and our lot in life.

It was time and money well spent.

Shameful...
Not gonna lie, I am so totally gonna watch this...

Twodle, now with bonus photo action!
When we all got home this evening, Doodle got to open some presents.



The first thing he opened was a pretend cell phone from my aunt. This was such a big hit that we couldn't open any more presents until the novelty of talking on the phone wore off.



The present opening was delayed further by the fact that an episode of the Doodlebops that we tivoed put Doodle in a bit of a trance. ALL YOUR DOODLE ARE BELONG TO US



We finally opened the rest of the presents, including an Elmo doll that was a huge hit, as well. I will promise to torture you with a video of all the Elmo action later on this week.

Before we ate dinner, I managed to get two bee stings, when I pulled up a tablecloth from our back patio, where a bunch of the pesky bugs had decided to build a nest, unbeknownst to me. Luckily Doodle was untouched.

After dinner, Grammy and Poppy stopped by to say hello (and brought some Raid to quell the angry hornets who were still buzzing around in search of revenge, an hour later). Once the bees had been given the bum's rush, Doodle was able to frolic for a while in the yard. With bubbles!





I think Uncle Dom was around here somewhere, but all I see in this pic is wrapping paper. ;)

Two-dle
Today, my little boy turns two years old. We have been hinting to him that his birthday is coming, and that he will be two, but it hasn't registered. I sang the "Happy Birthday" song to him, but he turns it into a game where I then have to sing happy birthday to half of the known world, including, all family members, including auxiliary family members Doodle has only met one time; all his girlfriends at school, DeeDee, Rooney and Moe (the Doodlebops), Elmo, Ernie, Bert, etc. This has, however, gotten us from the house to day care in lieu of driving this distance with a tantruming Doodle in the back. Every time the tantrum begins to brew I started the song again.

Last night I went to the grocery store, picked up mini cupcakes for his day care class today, ordered the half-sheet cake for the party we're having on Saturday (I was gravely disappointed to find that they did not have an Elmo cake. They had every other kids' characters, even freakin' Ratatoulle for god's sakes, but no Elmo), and then after Doodle went to bed I wrapped his presents that we'll give him tonight (an Elmo doll and a book about ladybugs). This morning when he woke up, I went in to his room to wish him a happy birthday.

"Hi, sweetie, it's your birthday today! You're two years old! What a big boy!"
"Go 'way, mommy."
"Did you just tell me to go away?"
"Go 'way."

OK then.

Did he wake up as a teenager this morning? Did we skip about twelve years? It's hard to believe it's already been two. Let's hope that this year isn't as "terrible" as they say it is.

Concert reviews

1. JOHN MAYER/BEN FOLDS JULY 1, 2007 BLOSSOM MUSIC CENTER

This was my third time seeing JM live at Blossom, but the first time that I did not have seats in the pavilion. I was kind of bummed about that, but it turns out that the lawn is an AWESOME people-watching venue! Half the time I forgot that I was at a concert, because I was so engrossed in the human drama around me. My sister-in-law and I enjoyed this immensely.

Ben Folds opened the show, and though I only own that one CD that everyone owns of his, the one that has "Brick" on it, I still recognized most of the songs he played. Which was weird. He also made us laugh out loud by his between-song banter, where he attempted to recreate the "Brown Note" -- the same frequency the military allegedly uses to make people crap their pants. He couldn't get down low enough but he said that the low tone he played was enough to make the weaker people "shart" -- which just about killed us.

During his set, a nearby Ben Folds MEGAFAN was shouting all the words, dancing, and interjecting certain catch phrases between songs, like, "Fuckin A", "Fuck Yeah," etc. John Mayer came out during the last song in BF's set and the megafan was not pleased. Not at all. Then, when the set ended, he loudly proclaimed that he had been ripped off, that Ben Folds should have been allowed to play longer (he played for about 45 minutes), and then the Megafan packed his stuff up and left before JM hit the stage.

John's set was awesome. He opened with "Belief" which is one of my favorite songs off of Continuum, and then went into "Why Georgia" -- another good one. He played a good mix of his three main albums, plus a John Mayer trio song, and another obscure one that I have heard before but can't place.

During the set, we had, at various times, intertwined lesbians, high school idiots, college idiots, drunk idiots, and a host of others around us. It made for some good snarkage.

For the encore, John treated the audience to my least favorite song in his reporitoire, "Your Body is a Wonderland," but he did it acoustic. The last time my sister-in-law and I went to see JM, we were trapped next to these obnoxious girls who shout-sang the lyrics to this song and even had hand motions to go along with the lyrics. Smartass that I am, I performed a slowed down version of their pantomime routine during this acoustic set. It was funny to me and my SIL, but people around us probably thought I was an idiot.

2. THE POLICE JULY 16, 2007 QUICKEN LOANS ARENA

As Andy Summers struck the opening chords of "Message in a Bottle," thus beginning the Cleveland show, the woman next to me (who looked and sounded remarkably like Kelly from "The Office") turned to me and said, "I bet you weren't even alive the first time these guys were on tour!" First of all, THANK YOU to that woman for making me feel not so old. But actually, yes, I was alive. I was in about the third or fourth grade when the Synchronicity album came out, and I also owned all of the prior albums (Ghost in the Machine, Zenyatta Mondata, Regatta de Blanc) on casette. This was largely due to a huge musical influence in my life -- my babysitter at the time, Carrie, who was a few years older than me and a HUGE Police fan. She and I would watch MTV and wait for the video to "Every Breath You Take" to come on, and we would listen to all the albums all the time.

Anyway, I am still riding the high from this concert. Every Police song that I could think of that I would want to hear live -- they did. They did some other great songs that fans of the Police would recognize, and they did a couple obscure songs that even I didn't know. Sting looked fantastic and sounded great. Every once in a while there seemed to be some kind of disconnect between Sting and Andy -- I couldn't tell who was at fault, but the music just seemed to be off. Also, Stewart Copeland was AWESOME. So much of what makes the music of the Police so great is the drums, and he was truly a showman. In addition to his standard drum set, he had a gong, a series of chimes and bells, and some other random percussion instruments. During certain points in the show, he would literally toss his drumsticks over his head, grab a brush, and get up to play the chimes. The song "Wrapped Around Your Finger", which is not one of my favorites normally, was probably the best song they did because of how cool Stewart's part was. When he was done on the chimes, he would again toss the brushes over his head, pick up a new set of drum sticks, and go right back to drumming. So cool.

My seats were in the LAST row of the Q (I hate calling it that, but to borrow a phrase, it is what it is), but at least we were facing the stage. There were screens set up above the stage so we could always see the action, and they also featured some retro Police graphics (for instance, the analog caricatures of the three band members that was the cover art for Ghost in the Machine, see below). So that was cool. Because we were up so high we could pretty much see everything and everyone, and that really added to my enjoyment of the show. To be part of such an enthusiastic crowd was really something special to me. I am so glad I was there.



3. LATER THIS SUMMER ... DAVE MATTHEWS/PETE YORN ... BLOSSOM MUSIC CENTER

I bought the tickets because I love Pete Yorn. But I have never seen Dave Matthews live, and I am looking forward to it. I'm not the hugest fan of his, I have his first three albums but then kind of lost interest. We have pavilion seats, which should be great, especially for Pete. I am totally going to be the Pete Yorn Megafan who is pissed that he didn't play longer.

Doodle's got talent
You're looking at the next John Popper (minus about 350 pounds)...

Parenting the parents
This is a "what would you have done" kind of situation. Since I'm still relatively new to the whole parenting thing, especially now that I actually have to "do" some parenting rather than feed, cuddle, bathe and diaper a basically helpless being, I'm unsure in certain situations what the proper thing to do would be.

Sunday morning I took Doodle to the playground. In the middle of the playground there is a large sandbox area. This little girl, probably about six years old, was playing by herself in the sand. This is important: there was no sign of adult supervision whatsoever. Upon Doodle's arrival she boisterously introduced herself to us and asked if she should "show him around" the playground. I told her no thanks, that we were just going to play in the sand. "Do you think he wants to watch a talent show?" she asked me. "Sure," I said, knowing full well that Doodle was going to do what Doodle wanted to do, when Doodle wanted to do it. So she goes down the slide and jumps around, and then for the grand finale -- the coup de gras -- she dumps a bucketful of sand on her head. Doodle thought this was great hilarity, and encouraged, she did it again. Then she offered to dump sand on Doodle's head, which I kibboshed.

She continued to try and show off for Doodle and make him laugh, but he was doing his own thing. She decided it was time for a second talent show. Right at that moment, either her mom or her grandma (could have been either) came up and said it was time for her to go. The little girl begged to do her talent show and so the grandma stood there to watch. She did the whole bit with the slide, the jumps, and then the bucket of sand over the head. When she did that, the grandma screamed in alarm and told her not to do that. Then the grandma looked at me and said, angrily, "Did YOU know she was going to do that?" I told her that she had been doing that several times.

Now here is my question. Was it my duty to parent that other little girl in addition to my own? To stop her from dumping sand on her head? Because sure, I wouldn't let Doodle do it, but other than getting dirty and probably getting all sorts of god knows what from the sand, skeeves, all over her, it was a harmless act, or so I thought.

Doodle fortuitously picked that time to toddle off, and so I went after him, but if the grandma had said anything further to me, I probably would have gone off on her for not watching her child in the first place. After she revealed herself I realized that this woman had been sitting back on a bench, talking on a cell phone, totally out of the line of sight of this little girl.

Just the beginning in a long line of struggles with other parents, I am sure.

Hello, post office? I'd like to mail in this post.
BB8 cast out today... woot. My pre-show hate is festering already!

Oh. here's a meme that I stole from myspace yet again...

1. Boxers or briefs?
on a dude, boxers.

2. Five star hotel or a tent in the woods?
not much of a camper, so, hotel.

3. If you were famous, what would you be famous for?
I always wanted to be a rock star, and a writer, but writers aren't that famous unless they're Steven King, so, let's go, rock star.

4. I'd like to hang out with:
some of my favorite musicians... Pete Yorn, Josh Rouse, etc.

5. I want my last meal to be:
Wow. A bag of Shearers potato chips (the ones in the black bag that used to be called "Grandpa's Choice"), a steak with baked potato, a big-ass piece of cheesecake from Cheesecake Factory.

6. Milk chocolate, dark chocolate, or white chocolate?
Dark. Accept no substitutions.

7. I've always wanted:
A horse.

8. For my first wish, I wish:
a happy life for my son.

9. The best things in life are:
family

10. Where was sexy before Justin Timberlake brought it back?
Outer Mongolia

11. Do you typically bring da noise, da funk, or da jell-o salad?
Da Funk, of course!

12. Who would you want to be with on a desert island?
should I give the p.c. answer of "my husband", or should I go for the more interesting and scandalous... how about Jeff Probst and fifteen other castaways?

13. If you were a candy bar, which would you be?
Heath bar

14. No matter how badly I needed the money, I'd never:
kill anyone

15. Take whatever you want. Just don't take my:
son

16. The older I get, the more I:
wish I hadn't slacked off so much in college

17. What's the first frivolous thing you'll buy when you're rich and famous?
a personal trainer

18. Ignorance is:
something I can barely stomach

19. I think they should legalize:
the wacky tabacky

20. Wal-Mart is:
a place I refuse to patronize.

21. I'd be totally screwed without:
my computer skills and writing skills

22. House in the country or apartment in the city?
house in the country -- I could get a horse!

23. What's the grossest thing you've ever eaten?
if I try and think about it I'll probably barf

24. If you had to get a tattoo, what would it be?
my son's name and birthdate

25. How old were you the last time you trick-or-treated?
high school -- freshman or sophomore?

26. Beauty or Brains?
brains. there's no plastic surgery to fix stupid.

27. If Mickey is a mouse and Pluto is a pup, what the hell is Goofy?
a more highly evolved being, we can't possibly understand

28. My parents should've known I'd be trouble when I:
knew how to spell C-A-T and D-O-G from my crib

29. Where would you like to go on vacation?
someplace warm, sandy, quiet

30. In retrospect, do you wish you had studied harder or had more fun?
both -- I wish I had been more outgoing in college and been more active in groups. I also wish I hadn't wasted my entire senior year goofing off.

31. I read 'Playboy' for the:
I'm a straight girl so I don't read or appreciate Playboy.

32. What was the best advice you ever received?
from a colleague on how to handle myself professionaly in various situations

33. What would your custom license plate be?
KATJAMB1

33. Mary Kate or Ashley?
Myrtle.

34. If you were to discover that the roof was on fire, what would you do?
Let the mo'fo' burn.

35. Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?
Who me? Yes you. Couldn't be. Then who?

36. Paris or Nicole?
To see ritually tortured? Paris.

37. Jessica Alba or Jessica Simpson?
Albacore. Which is tuna by the way. Which is a fish.

38. If I had a time machine, I'd:
go back... to the FUTURE!!!!

39. How many times have you broken your cell phone?
zero so far.

40. If you were coated in jelly, what flavor would you prefer?
k-y? too obvious?

41. What was the best movie this year?
I don't get out much.

44. One in the hand is worth two in the:
George W.

45. I'd like to smack:
oh jeez. so many choices. several co-workers. paris. britney.

46. I will never tell anyone:
anything I think will hurt their feelings. I'm kind of a pansy that way.

47. When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
rock star!

48. What's your favorite candy?
candy cigarettes -- even though they can't be called that anymore. now they're just "candy sticks"

49. What advice would you give your younger self?
Don't do drugs. Stay in school.

50. Fame or Fortune?
Fame! I'm gonna live forever, I'm going to learn how to fly. High.

51. You can see my place, but don't look in my:
basement (that's where the bodies are buried)

52. My parents would kill me if I came home with:
a piercing/tattoo

53. Would you rather own a dog named Growler or a parrot named Captain?
Yarr! Captain, me mateys!

54. When they write my obituary, I hope they mention:
my stunning beauty

55. Truth or Dare?
truth. I hate embarrassing myself.

56. When the world ends, I will be:
waiting to see how it all winds up.

Walter
Last evening, there was a plan. And the plan was to go out after dinner and get custard. Jackpot! One of my favorite things to do in the summertime. It was our first custard outing of the season.

We're walking out of the house and Doodle sees his ball. His eyes light up and he runs to our back patio to get it. We follow. As the three of us reach the patio, we hear this high-pitched "meeeEEEEEEEEEeeeeew? meeew? mew?"

My first thought was that Molly had gotten out of the house somehow, because she makes the same kind of pathetic mewing sounds.

But it wasn't. It was Walter.

This little, dark grey tabby kitty was hanging out on our patio. I'm always a little wary of strange animals, especially ones I haven't seen before, because who knows their story -- are they strays? Do they have diseases? Fleas? Are they going to bite my child?

But Walter -- Walter wasn't like that. Walter walked right up to my husband to be petted. When my husband stopped petting him, he walked right up to Doodle. My OWN cats don't even do that! When he realized Doodle was not going to pet him, but rather, doink him repeatedly with a big blue bouncy ball, he came over to me.

He was such a sweetheart -- I immediately looked at my husband with puppy dog eyes. "We already have two cats," he said. I made the pouty face.

We hung around and petted Walter for a little while longer, and then there was this thing we had to do. The CUSTARD! I didn't want to leave Walter there. I wondered if he belonged to a neighbor, or if he was a stray, runaway, whatever. He has no collar, he doesn't look to be spayed (yes, I checked, thank you very much -- well, not so much checked, as noticed, that he still had his testicles). He does have a freshly-scabbed war wound behind one of his ears, and the tip of that ear looks like it got either bitten off or bent. But he didn't appear to be hungry, and he definitely wasn't afraid of people, or children.

As we started to get Doodle into his car seat, Walter stretched himself out in our driveway, rolled onto his back with his legs in the air, and then chilled out. We made our break and went to get custard.

I was hoping that he'd still be there when we got home. Like he had chosen to stay with us. You know how sometimes, kitties pick their owners, not the other way around?

But he wasn't.

Throughout the evening before the sun set, I kept looking out the windows to see if maybe I could see Walter lounging in the bushes, or in the grass, but I saw no further sign of him.

And I had picked a name for him and everything.

OMFG
Remember a few weeks ago when I said that the Bratz movie was the worst idea I'd heard since Spice World?
I was wrong.

The 80's meme
Mailing it in yet again... one of these days I will post something "real"...

Did you listen to New Kids on the Block?
Shamefully, I did.

Did you ever own a slap bracelet?
I think I was too old when these came out

The Babysitter's Club or Sweet Valley High?
Sweet Valley High all the way.

Salute Your Shorts or Hey Dude?
Again, I was a little too old for this but I do remember "Salute Your Shorts."

Kids Incorporated or The Mickey Mouse Club?
neither -- again, too old

Did you want Dylan to end up w/ Brenda or Kelly?
Brenda

Who was ALF?
a furry alien from the planet Melmac

Do you remember the show Dinosaurs?
nope

Kimmie Gibler or Urkel?
Ugh... neither. Both were uber annoying

Blossom or Clarissa Explains It All?
Clarissa

Did you have a crush on JTT?
Obviously not because I have no clue who that is

Bobby Brown or Tevin Campbell?
Bobby B

Step By Step or Full House?
neither

Did you listen to Milli Vanilli?
Mmm hmm. I still have the cd that I drag out to make people laugh

Mr. Rogers or Reading Rainbow?
Mr. Rogers. Again, Reading Rainbow came on after I was too "grown up" to watch it.

Did you own a Glo Worm?
No but my friend did and I had jealousy issues

Paula Abdul: better now or then?
The "Cold Hearted" video was the bomb back in 8th grade when I listened to that kind of music

Wild 'n' Crazy Kids or Double Dare?
Hell yeah, Double Dare.

Remember Legends of the Hidden Temple?
no

The Mighty Ducks or The Little Giants?
Again, never saw either of these.

Did you watch Saved By The Bell?
heck yeah, in fact there was a huge dinnertime conversation with my in-laws recently and the family is now divided into Those Who Watched and Those Who Didn't

Who was hotter: Zack or Slater?
Mark-Paul Gosselaar; Mario Lopez was a chach

Camp Nowhere or House Arrest?
huh?

Did you own a pair of Reebok Pumps?
Embarrassingly I think I did... for 7th or 8th grade basketball

Carebears or Smurfs?
Smurfs. I thought Care Bears were lame.

Rainbow Brite or Strawberry Shortcake?
Strawberry Shortcake, Huckleberry Pie!

Did you own a pair of Jelly Shoes?
In fuschia and clear.

Did you own a Trapper Keeper?
Hell yes. It had horses on it *heart*

Atari or Nintendo?
Nintendo -- all my friends came to my house to play Super Mario and Zelda

Mailing it in... a meme post
I stole this from a MySpace bulletin so some of the questions relate to myspace. Oh well.

1. If I were a doll, the accessories packaged with me would be:
lip balm, a laptop and a toddler with toddler accessories

2. I have an irrational fear of:
balloons, birds and clowns

3. What type of food do you eat at your grandparents' house?
when I was younger, my grandma would always make fresh french fries in the deep fryer for my cousin and I. They were awesome.

4. How much did you weigh when you were born?
6 lbs, same as my son did

5. Do you stalk anyone on Myspace?
"stalk" is such a strong word...

6. I am too old to:
watch "The Real World" on MTV

7. I find the thought of childbirth:
a semi-pleasant memory and a hope for the future

8. My feet are:
gross. Like everyone's feet are.

9. My preferred style of jeans is:
boot cut

10. I know how to cook:
very few things. Luckily my husband does 99% of the cooking.

11. Men should always:
hold the door for me

12. Women should never:
wear tube tops

13. What child-related smell do you not like?
Desitin, Baby Magic

14. What sea creature scares you?
Nessie

15. What object have you broken most recently?
My watch band

16. Name one of the Spice Girls?
I think I can do them all... Scary, Baby, Posh, Sporty, oh shit. There's one more. I guess I can do 4/5.

17. What was the last thing to make you cry?
When Charlie was supposed to die on "lost" and left hte note for Claire, it got me a little bit choked up, but no actual tears flowed.

18 I would like to be in an advertisement for?:
something like Diet Pepsi where I could get a lifetime supply

19. What are the stems of wine glasses for?
to curl your pinky around

20. My favorite shoes are:
black semi-dressy flip flops

21. Can you use chopsticks?
not very well

22. Do you prefer beaches or forests?
beaches

24. Have you ever drank alcohol straight from the bottle?
prolly.

25. When's the last time you chose a bath over a shower?
when I was pregnant I took a bubble bath

26. Do you have a job?
yes

27. Are you friends with your last ex:
nope

28. What are you wearing?
khaki skirt and green top

29. Have you ever crawled through a window?
yes

30. Name one thing that is always on your mind?
I've got my mind on my money and my money on my mind

31. Full House or Brady Bunch?
Brady Bunch.

32. Relationships or one night stands?
Relationships

33. Who was the last person that made you cry?
I don't know...

34. Last time you kissed someone?
This morning

35. Name five things you did today.
Woke up, got out of bed, dragged a comb across my head, found my way downstairs and drank a cup, and looking up, I noticed I was late...

36. What color is your bedroom floor?
neutral beige carpet

37. What are you doing tomorrow?
see #35

38. Favorite Old School TV show:
Family Ties -- I had a huge crush on Michael J. Fox

39. If you were a frozen treat, what would you be?
cookie puss

40. What food describes your current mood?
bratwurst